Completely amazing story. I loved all of the build-up, had perfect pacing with it. I did figure out before the twist that either Chip wasn't real, or she wasn't getting married to him. The Imu thing I didn't figure out at all, I was trying for all sorts of weird things it could stand for. excellent story my friend, all in all.
by
Anonymous10/30/09
Perfect
This may well be the best I have read here in years. It had every element I look for, and then some. It was very well written. Very high caliber stuff. Nicely constructed, wonderfully crafted. I savored each word. Yes, I quickly deduced "imu", but it took nothing away from the story. I loved the characters and the way they meshed. This was complete, and I don't need a sequel. Your call on that. By the way, what was the last drink, the one with gin?
by
Anonymous10/30/09
the answer is simple....
Lizzie has wanted Scooter for years....to marry him..regardless of what anyone felt about it..Scooter was her one true love..not just his cock.
by
Anonymous10/30/09
Simply the best
Perhaps the best story I have read on this site. Great buildup, natural flow, perfectly edited. Realistic characters. DAMN you can write.
by
Anonymous10/30/09
Another winner pf,
Guess us blokes are smart in other ways as I did not get the imu but like someone else got the chip clue. I thought this was right up with your peaches and hero stories so pretty fucking good in my book. Hope this has cleared out some of the characters who were clamouring for headspace. Cheers, again. -- UK CYNIC
by
Anonymous10/30/09
Hiya folks
Thanks for the kind words. For the anony with the alcohol question: you sir, are a close reader. Lizzie only says that she had "a good stiff drink" but never says what she drank. It's Richard who tastes gin on her breath. If you want to know what she drank in my head, it was a gin and tonic. Richard is the elder sibling and bartender. Lizzie is a less sophisticated coed and even a youngin can fix a G&T. Oh, and her favorite color is orange. See? These are real people wandering around in my head. I'm telling you, it's frickin' weird.
by
Anonymous10/30/09
good story
great story please continue writing possibly a sequal to this one
by
Anonymous10/30/09
imu
I figured, initially, that she was writing a w that could be mistaken for an 'm' - iwu (I want u)
When she made it clear it was an m, I guessed there was no Chip and that she meant "I'm marrying u"...
It would be difficult to add to what the others said. Good, great, excellent are already taken.
by
Anonymous10/31/09
good but
good but two problems (1) when the mom showed up you changed her name from lizzie to leslie very distracting we have to stop and figure out who you are talking about also alot of misspelled words never post a story without going through an editor (2) you left us hanging how does she tell her mom there is no chip and what do they do now does mom find out do they live together does she get pregnant you can't just leave us hanging like this please continue
When I first saw it was a 6 page, I almost passed it up. Then, I started reading it, and the characters came to life. Simply amazing just isn't enough of a compliment. I really do not need a follow-up, I would not want to see you try to top this beautiful story, and fall short. But what kept me reading, all the way through, was not the foreplay. Though that was nice as well. What kept me reading was "IMU".
Really a tender and believable story. I guessed it early on, and I also almost passed on the six part deal, but I am glead I stayed with it. Good work.
I've been seeing this story in the feedback portal
all day and I finally decided to check it out. I'm very glad I did. I'm not a big believer in incest but I am a big one on love. This story was sweet and sappy in ways that can touch even the most cynical of hearts. I love the slow work up and I figured out way before she admitted there wasn't a Chip that he really didn't exist. It's a fantastic story and very well told. Great job!
by
Anonymous10/31/09
Great
What love and tenderness. I can not imagine what is would be like to have someone desire me that much - to go to all that trouble over all those years. Wow
by
Anonymous10/31/09
words do no justice
There are no words to describe how great the storey was. The plot, the characters, the scenario.........
Absolutely amazing...........
Keep it up hope to read more of your stories.........
First off, your story was great! Of course I may be saying that because brother/sister incest with anal play is my favorite theme of all. But the story buildup, the affection, and the subtle deception were all well crafted and expressed. And oh yes, I got the IMU pretty quickly. Like someone else said, it's probably a girl thing.
I recognized your name from another story and now will go read some more of your submissions. Thanks!
by
Anonymous11/04/09
damn
out of so many stories here, yours was the first one i rated a 5.
by
Anonymous11/04/09
Great story!
I couldn't quit reading. BTW, its not a "girl" thing. I figured the "I 'heart' you" from the first moment. Or maybe its my feminine side pushing out. From a 62 year old male - Thanks for the story.
by
Anonymous11/05/09
Awesome
This story was awesome 5/5. Also i figured out the imu abuot half-way through and also figured there was no Chip
Very well written. Kept me glued thru the entire story. I had hoped that it would end the way that it did but couldnt quite bring myself to cheat and skip ahead. I figured out the imu early on and also guess correctly there was no Chip but a long drawn out play for the brother. Perhaps a short sequel to let us know how the two fared since then - you know, a happily ever after ending? Again, excellant writing, well paced and sexy. Thanks!!!!
by
Anonymous11/06/09
amazing
I've been reading erotic stories for years. I like it better to imagine things for myself. This is the best story I have ever read. First two pages I read it for the usual reasons but I read the last 4 because I wanted to know what happened so badly. Please keep writing.
by
Anonymous11/06/09
if you ever..
If u ever decide to write a book let us know on here. I bookmarked this page and I'm sure ill come back here quite often to reread. Thanks so much for the story.
by
Anonymous11/06/09
I didn't guess the "imu" either.
This story develops slowly just as you say in the beginning.
I really enjoyed it and think you did a great job painting the characters for us. The bawoo struck me as a very cute thing coming from a cute young girl and a sexy thing from the hottie she grows into. I had a good time picturing the different ways she could have done that.
Wow! Honestly one of the best stories I've read on this site. I always prefer the ones that actually relate the emotion that's the basis for the relationship rather than just relying on sex for the sake of justifying a story. This was of the former category, and I appreciate that. And yes, I caught the "imu" the third time... though I got a kick out of the emu guess, that was funny!
by
Anonymous11/07/09
I liked this story
Thank you for giving us this story. I sincerely enjoyed reading it.
I actually figured out the imu pretty early, 2nd/3rd page maybe? Only the whole big deception thing was a bit risky for my taste, what if brother didn't go for the 'ass on honeymoon'-line, and who paid the big private cabin after all? Very well written
I actually figured out the imu pretty early, 2nd/3rd page maybe? Only the whole big deception thing was a bit risky for my taste, what if brother didn't go for the 'ass on honeymoon'-line, and who paid the big private cabin after all? Very well written
My pulse is still racing too fast to think clearly.
You are truly an artist Mr Paco Fear. More please!
by
Anonymous11/12/09
Write em out
Sorry friend, your characters don't go away. you just have to write them out. You'll do fine as long as you don't develop Multiple Personality Disorder. I like "Words on Skin" reminds me of "Stolen Kisses" my favorite story that you have written.
... I would need the space of your entire body to describe my feelings about this story. You write so wonderfully, thank you for sharing this journey of taboo sexuality and emotion.
by
Anonymous11/22/09
Worthy Of A 6...
Simply outstanding. A score of 5 simply does not do
justice to this story...
Thank-You!
by
Anonymous11/22/09
good but
good but needs another chapter to tell how the mom acts when told that the engagement is off and what happens between bro/sis and if mom ever finds out this is only half of the story when will we get the rest
For the Anony and others like him looking for "the rest of the story" - not to be cruel, but you ain't getting it from me. Ever. I have always had a distaste for stories that grind out the minutia at the end. "And then they told Mom and she was appalled but then she finally learned to accept them and later they had babies and everyone lived happily ever after." Ick! That's not my style. I prefer to bow out at a high note like the one here. Either you felt the romance of it or you didn't.
by
Anonymous11/23/09
Wow
Great story. Although I gotta be honest, I thought the "imu" thing was obvious right away.
I really enjoyed it, Paco. You're an excellent writer, and I agree that it's more fun to bow out on a high note. Stick to what you enjoy, and don't let anyone dictate otherwise to you.
On a sidenote, I saw your comment on your Bio about the Incest category being really tough. Sorry about taking your top spot. :)
You, sir, write a mean tale so I'm happy to cede top honors
to you. And thanks for the kind words. If you liked "Words on Skin" try "Stolen Kisses." It's my other twisty sibling incest story. I've got another in the works too but it's slow going. I tend to chew on concepts for these stories more than the others.
English
Beautiful story
I loved this story. The IMU I got pretty much in the beginning but I kept reading to find out how it played out.
I really really enjoyed it.. would love to see how Scooter and Lizzie continue on.
More.
Yes I hope you will contiue with this story. What happens to them?
Wow, just wow
Completely amazing story. I loved all of the build-up, had perfect pacing with it. I did figure out before the twist that either Chip wasn't real, or she wasn't getting married to him. The Imu thing I didn't figure out at all, I was trying for all sorts of weird things it could stand for. excellent story my friend, all in all.
Perfect
This may well be the best I have read here in years. It had every element I look for, and then some. It was very well written. Very high caliber stuff. Nicely constructed, wonderfully crafted. I savored each word. Yes, I quickly deduced "imu", but it took nothing away from the story. I loved the characters and the way they meshed. This was complete, and I don't need a sequel. Your call on that. By the way, what was the last drink, the one with gin?
the answer is simple....
Lizzie has wanted Scooter for years....to marry him..regardless of what anyone felt about it..Scooter was her one true love..not just his cock.
Simply the best
Perhaps the best story I have read on this site. Great buildup, natural flow, perfectly edited. Realistic characters. DAMN you can write.
Another winner pf,
Guess us blokes are smart in other ways as I did not get the imu but like someone else got the chip clue. I thought this was right up with your peaches and hero stories so pretty fucking good in my book. Hope this has cleared out some of the characters who were clamouring for headspace. Cheers, again. -- UK CYNIC
Hiya folks
Thanks for the kind words. For the anony with the alcohol question: you sir, are a close reader. Lizzie only says that she had "a good stiff drink" but never says what she drank. It's Richard who tastes gin on her breath. If you want to know what she drank in my head, it was a gin and tonic. Richard is the elder sibling and bartender. Lizzie is a less sophisticated coed and even a youngin can fix a G&T. Oh, and her favorite color is orange. See? These are real people wandering around in my head. I'm telling you, it's frickin' weird.
good story
great story please continue writing possibly a sequal to this one
imu
I figured, initially, that she was writing a w that could be mistaken for an 'm' - iwu (I want u)
When she made it clear it was an m, I guessed there was no Chip and that she meant "I'm marrying u"...
Fantastic!!
It would be difficult to add to what the others said. Good, great, excellent are already taken.
good but
good but two problems (1) when the mom showed up you changed her name from lizzie to leslie very distracting we have to stop and figure out who you are talking about also alot of misspelled words never post a story without going through an editor (2) you left us hanging how does she tell her mom there is no chip and what do they do now does mom find out do they live together does she get pregnant you can't just leave us hanging like this please continue
"For Chip, it's going...." "For who?"
You write an excellent love story. You put all of the elements out there, and I'm sure some caught on faster than others. Very well-crafted.
.
Nice story. I did figure out the heart.
Pure Poetry
When I first saw it was a 6 page, I almost passed it up. Then, I started reading it, and the characters came to life. Simply amazing just isn't enough of a compliment. I really do not need a follow-up, I would not want to see you try to top this beautiful story, and fall short. But what kept me reading, all the way through, was not the foreplay. Though that was nice as well. What kept me reading was "IMU".
Amazing, simply amazing
Excellant
Really a tender and believable story. I guessed it early on, and I also almost passed on the six part deal, but I am glead I stayed with it. Good work.
What can I say but...
... I LOVE YOUR STORY!!!!!! Ich should have figured out, what "IMU" stood for, but I failed... I was too engaged with enjoying your Story!!
If you want to write more about them... do so... but I can't imagine, how you could top this one!!
I've been seeing this story in the feedback portal
all day and I finally decided to check it out. I'm very glad I did. I'm not a big believer in incest but I am a big one on love. This story was sweet and sappy in ways that can touch even the most cynical of hearts. I love the slow work up and I figured out way before she admitted there wasn't a Chip that he really didn't exist. It's a fantastic story and very well told. Great job!
Great
What love and tenderness. I can not imagine what is would be like to have someone desire me that much - to go to all that trouble over all those years. Wow
words do no justice
There are no words to describe how great the storey was. The plot, the characters, the scenario.........
Absolutely amazing...........
Keep it up hope to read more of your stories.........
LOVED IT
NOT MUCH ELSE TO SAY EXCEPT LOVED IT !!!!!!!!!!!!! HOPE YOU CONTINUE WITH THE STORY.
Epic Awesome.
That was the best Literotica story I have ever read.
such...
...a great story...thank you for writing AND sharing it.
Got it!
Yesss! knew the m was a heart!!
I only fluked it because i wrote out imu on my hand too :P
Only got it when i saw it twice tho hahaha a bit slow :(
One of the best!
This is possibly the best story I have ever read on this site. Sexy as hell with great emotion and depth. Great stuff!
Brilliant.
Maybe it is a girl thing. Thought you might like to know that I figured out the "i m u" thing straight away, the first time she did it.
Really was a brilliant story. Wonderfully careful. Loved it.
My favorite theme
First off, your story was great! Of course I may be saying that because brother/sister incest with anal play is my favorite theme of all. But the story buildup, the affection, and the subtle deception were all well crafted and expressed. And oh yes, I got the IMU pretty quickly. Like someone else said, it's probably a girl thing.
I recognized your name from another story and now will go read some more of your submissions. Thanks!
damn
out of so many stories here, yours was the first one i rated a 5.
Great story!
I couldn't quit reading. BTW, its not a "girl" thing. I figured the "I 'heart' you" from the first moment. Or maybe its my feminine side pushing out. From a 62 year old male - Thanks for the story.
Awesome
This story was awesome 5/5. Also i figured out the imu abuot half-way through and also figured there was no Chip
Awsum, awsum story!!!!
Very well written. Kept me glued thru the entire story. I had hoped that it would end the way that it did but couldnt quite bring myself to cheat and skip ahead. I figured out the imu early on and also guess correctly there was no Chip but a long drawn out play for the brother. Perhaps a short sequel to let us know how the two fared since then - you know, a happily ever after ending? Again, excellant writing, well paced and sexy. Thanks!!!!
amazing
I've been reading erotic stories for years. I like it better to imagine things for myself. This is the best story I have ever read. First two pages I read it for the usual reasons but I read the last 4 because I wanted to know what happened so badly. Please keep writing.
if you ever..
If u ever decide to write a book let us know on here. I bookmarked this page and I'm sure ill come back here quite often to reread. Thanks so much for the story.
I didn't guess the "imu" either.
This story develops slowly just as you say in the beginning.
I really enjoyed it and think you did a great job painting the characters for us. The bawoo struck me as a very cute thing coming from a cute young girl and a sexy thing from the hottie she grows into. I had a good time picturing the different ways she could have done that.
Thanks for a nice read.
Bawoo, indeed!
Wow! Honestly one of the best stories I've read on this site. I always prefer the ones that actually relate the emotion that's the basis for the relationship rather than just relying on sex for the sake of justifying a story. This was of the former category, and I appreciate that. And yes, I caught the "imu" the third time... though I got a kick out of the emu guess, that was funny!
I liked this story
Thank you for giving us this story. I sincerely enjoyed reading it.
Great Story
I actually figured out the imu pretty early, 2nd/3rd page maybe? Only the whole big deception thing was a bit risky for my taste, what if brother didn't go for the 'ass on honeymoon'-line, and who paid the big private cabin after all? Very well written
Great Story
I actually figured out the imu pretty early, 2nd/3rd page maybe? Only the whole big deception thing was a bit risky for my taste, what if brother didn't go for the 'ass on honeymoon'-line, and who paid the big private cabin after all? Very well written
Words fail me
My pulse is still racing too fast to think clearly.
You are truly an artist Mr Paco Fear. More please!
Write em out
Sorry friend, your characters don't go away. you just have to write them out. You'll do fine as long as you don't develop Multiple Personality Disorder. I like "Words on Skin" reminds me of "Stolen Kisses" my favorite story that you have written.
Such a delight!
I love how you are able to create believable characters and weave complexity into your stories. I thought IMU was 'I miss you'.
Great
Another very hot story. You're quickly becoming my favorite writer on here! Keep up the superb work.
wow.
not only an extremely hot story, but an emotionally deep and satisfying one too. extremely well written.
If I was to write on your skin...
... I would need the space of your entire body to describe my feelings about this story. You write so wonderfully, thank you for sharing this journey of taboo sexuality and emotion.
Worthy Of A 6...
Simply outstanding. A score of 5 simply does not do
justice to this story...
Thank-You!
good but
good but needs another chapter to tell how the mom acts when told that the engagement is off and what happens between bro/sis and if mom ever finds out this is only half of the story when will we get the rest
WYSIWYG
For the Anony and others like him looking for "the rest of the story" - not to be cruel, but you ain't getting it from me. Ever. I have always had a distaste for stories that grind out the minutia at the end. "And then they told Mom and she was appalled but then she finally learned to accept them and later they had babies and everyone lived happily ever after." Ick! That's not my style. I prefer to bow out at a high note like the one here. Either you felt the romance of it or you didn't.
Wow
Great story. Although I gotta be honest, I thought the "imu" thing was obvious right away.
Great story
I really enjoyed it, Paco. You're an excellent writer, and I agree that it's more fun to bow out on a high note. Stick to what you enjoy, and don't let anyone dictate otherwise to you.
On a sidenote, I saw your comment on your Bio about the Incest category being really tough. Sorry about taking your top spot. :)
Do you have more stories like this one?
Thanks Eldridge
You, sir, write a mean tale so I'm happy to cede top honors
to you. And thanks for the kind words. If you liked "Words on Skin" try "Stolen Kisses." It's my other twisty sibling incest story. I've got another in the works too but it's slow going. I tend to chew on concepts for these stories more than the others.
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