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Interesting collection but needs work. For example, I see no point in the "like" in the second line of the first haiku. It serves only to blunt the effect of the line.
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I agree with the previous comment. Simile and metaphor are never meant to be presented directly in haiku (try just removing the word like). I'm giving you a 75% because I know how hard it can be to write good haiku.
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