by GloriaWill
Your story started with a lot of potential but was greatly marred by letting your spell check do the work you should have done.
Antidote instead of anecdote and of course organism.
This two major mistakes just screwed up the story.
At least I am hoping it was a spell check mistake.
And finally you could have taken a lot longer to play out the final scene.
Spelling, punctuation, pacing, all just plain bad; and then there's the issue of incorrect category. This was Lesbian Sex, not First Time.<p>At the very least get an editor. This stunk.
There were some glitches, but I thought the story was plausible and set up well. Maybe Gloria could take a little more time on the payoff next time? In any event, I thought it was a nice little story.
brilliant story would have love the next part but I have just found you website.
but none the less I simply love the writing, I found it such a real turn on two women tonguing one another sounds good to me
Well written, straightforward and arousing without a lot of anatomically graphic detail; makes full use of this old codger's sordid imagination. Good for you Gloria!
A nice simple story. Only one thing, please change "organism" to "orgasm" !