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English
Stop. Writing.
You suck at writing and whatever little issues you have, go find a doctor because this is not a group therapy session you idiot.
Not exactly Harry Potter...
I wish you would write about the nasty perverted psychopathical half wit who criticises others efforts because he is so fugging pathetic that he can't write his own filth.
I thought the imagery of the mud was horrifically muddled but I'd love to bury Anonymous in it head down for a while till he stopped breathing.
This little piggy has serious issues.
I find this really amusing, haha. Especially because your name is 'submissive oinker'. But it's good writing. Well done.
Freak.
FREAK!! Did a fatty bully you when you were a wee child? Hmm? OR perhaps you were the one bullied and degraded by the beautiful ones?
One would think that, it would be most interesting locking YOUR filthy perverted soul up somewhere to observe like the animal you are inside..come on admit it. But wait. Animals don't even go around doing that, disgusting vile human. Do yourself a favor...don't write!! Cause you SUCK!! Probably those machines! Did you get this idea from the American Dad episode where they force fed the alien? Thought so.
Could be great
Call me picky, but the grammar and all-around sentence structure is just frustrating to look at and is killing the initial excitement I had. I don't think I've ever seen so many misused and unnecessary commas. Get some proofreading done and I'd be happy to read it.
Having a hard time!
I was willing to like the story but I'm afraid the author lost me in the verbiage. I think English must be his/her second language. I am really not trying to be confrontational or negative but wish that he/she had had an editor before this story was submitted because I truly had to give up half-way through because it was simply too confusing. Too bad!
SUITE
une suite serait bien
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