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English
wrong area
wrong area this belongs in the gay,bdsm and nonconsesaul areas not incest loser from now on pick one area and keep your story with in those boundries no mixing and matching readers that don't like gay,bdsm and nonconsensual will not read any more of your stories if you keep mixing and putting them in the wrong areas do a rewrite and move it to the right area
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Crap
Get an education . . .
before attempting to "write" stories. Your's has to be the worst English I have come across with no knowledge of grammar. I stopped reading after about ten lines. Find a new hobby, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!
second language?
I think English has to be his second language.
i enjoyed your story, but...
you really need to edit. don't stop writing. just have your next story checked before you post.
Non-English author
An earlier comment had it right, non-English speaker: check the intro in the author's first story, "Dark Winged Slut" (A better story, I thought, and certainly less offensive to straights such as myself). Author needs strong editing until she develops a command in English writing. In USA, this work might be offered by a 9-11 year-old, writing with some of the vocabulary of a middle-teen.
hmmmmm
Better use of the Engliah language would have helped here. So many errors are quite
distracting.
rape
it is a fucking shame to write something like this,fucking shame,shame stupid writer I BETTER STOP WOULD WRITE TOO MUC`............
rape...you pigs
Nothing but discusting...pure shit...you should be shot...
nothing but pigshit
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