- All
Comments (53) More Comments (53 total): Page: 1 2
- Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
short, fast and to the point, but a complete story
I think it was the third person POV threw me off at first, but the story drew me in to it. Well done. Thanks
Interesting story - so why does he take the slut
back? Opps, forgot this is one of JPB's signature wimp male / slut female story lines. Oh, the clucks will like it. Joan
JPB....
....quick tell your critics the moral of the story, they apparently can't handle the complexity-digdaddy-I could "draw you in" to a snakepit with a handful of fried dough!LOL-pistolpackinpete
Well he won't have to worry about her running
around on him any more. Now he will know where she is. That is until he makes it big and get a plastic surgeon to fix her up and she can start fucking around again.
As her to dance and dance with her.
Then thank her for the dance. And as you walk her back to the side ask her, was it worth it? She ruined his life, Brad's life, and her own life. Her feelings reaally dont matter, what she did mattered. Then now that you someone up there has helped you, walk away and think no more.
A Surprise from JPB
I have read a lot, actually most of JPB's stories and find this one refreshing. Not the normal cheating story. I enjoy JPB's work but to me this one takes a new track. I hope the author has entertained his infamous target audience, himself, because he has certainly entertained this reader. Good job. Keep writing for yourself and the rest of us will follow along.
i agree
walk up and ask her to dance...then after that dance ask her if it was worth fucking everyones life up and walk away....tell her once she gets her face fixed to come talk to him ....maybe hell be between fucks and might find some place to work her in
As stories go...
I thought this was quite good. Yes okay she WAS a slut, and okay yes Rob was a sucker. But don't people change? And lets be honest here having your face messed up when that was JOB is a very good grounding tool. Personally I say good luck to Rob and Kelly. Stranger things have happened.
Why does JPB nver write an ending?
Is he lazy or just a bad writer. I find it hysterical that he has a contest to finish his story every year. That could apply to 90% of what he submits
.
.
Good Read
Could have been a little longer but good story.
Nice Tale
The point at the end is that he has 14 years of happy memories against the fact that she got carried away by
what her beauty could bring her. Now they just might start over again as friends...
No Poizon in JPB No one ever changes
or havent you figured that out yet.?
and No there is rarely if ever an ending to a JPB story.
This idiot writes a story until he gets tired of it... then stops... and throws it up on the internet knowing folks will give him a 100.
not complete
Really needs to be more,an ending.
I think it's a jewel
And I think he chose the perfect place to stop. I
heard a line once to the effect that a happy ending
just means they didn't finish the story. There's a
lesson in that; in fiction picking where to stop is
part of how an author creates whatever effect he's
aiming for. For anyone interested in a variation on
the theme, Ohio has a story where the protagonist
meets an old friend at a party who's had a disfiguring
accident since he saw her last. She gets surgery,
becomes beautiful, and then the trouble starts.
JPB, why are you so stupid?
bruce 22, are retarded? so 14 yrs of happy memories makes it okay for her to act like a total whore? and i do mean whore, because she was fucking anyone and everyone to advance her career and left him behind. her scars are also entirely her fault, and no it doesnt matter that brad or whatever was drunk, she never should have been with him or got in the car with a guy who obviously shouldnt drive. also, the ohio story your talking about was stupid, essentially ohio wrote that the wife was drugged then raped, so no, its not similar. besides, we both know that sometime in the future, shes goning to get her scars fixed and frankly, if she was willing to treat him like that once, do you really think it wont happen again? do you really think she deserves a second chance? because she doesnt, and she should be unhappy because she was a whore that fucked away a great life and marriage.
Good
Not your best work but good. I sort of chuckled JPB when someone asked why you don't finish your stories. Let see when you finish them people complain they don't like the ending. When you don't they complain because they have to supply the ending and they cannot.
I thought your ending was about right. If there were to be more to this story, it would not be an ending but a beginning. I thought the message was clear, people can be swayed by many things especially when they are young.
I REALLY Liked this story.
I read JPB's other stories recently, but this was a good story which I really likedKelly left the Best to be the Best blind with dreams of glasses in her eyes. Though she got her share of fame and popularity, but at what cost? She lost the person who wholeheartedly loved herThen the twist -- Kelly's accident It surely made her realise that people liked her body, face, looks etc, etc, but once after her accident, she was nobody. What I really liked was the end line -- "May I've this dance?" Everyone treated her as if she wasn't there, but there was one person who couldn't take his eyes off her, Robbie. This story doesn't need an ending that line tells everything.The moral of the story -- The view from the top is wonderful, but when you look around, you are all alone. For the first time I'll say that I really liked your story.
Fantastic
Enjoy your stories, and this one is a really good one.
This was just perfect.
I really loved this story. Yeah, so what if she MADE SELFISH, destructing decisions in her life? The important thing is, I think she learned from her mistakes. Going to that Festival was proof that she did that, and that is why Rob went after her. Really good story.
The Last laugh
This is HighIQ110 and yes from India.
I am a Post Graduate at Mathematics and MBA. An executive in corporate sector.
The story I have written, New Years Eve Party, is not my story. It has written by JPB in the name “The Benefits Man”.
I have just changed the names and reposted it. I have no intention to steal his or anyone’s story.
And I have no intention to write a single story here or any other website.
Then why I have done this? Because I want to show the world two things.
1. This is just what JPB is doing. He has saved a format in his computer and posting a new story changing the names and few things with the same plot.
2. Everyone is not block-headed fool like him.
I got 14 very interesting comments and total 125 nos…lol.
One of them told me that it is better than JPB.
I am really sorry for that JPB.
Who gets the last laugh ???
Just finish it next time
I really liked your story but as with so many you need to tell more. The good stuff is what happens next.
Another Installment
You ended the story without any real resolution. You stories are well written, but in some your stories the endings seem incomplete. Will there be another installment?
For all those insisting on an ending
How does the Bible end?
I don't know if JPB knows anything about the Bible, but he sure knows when to stop telling a story.
Wow. JPB can sometimes REALLY write.
This author doesn't waste a word to tell the story. I've read lots of his stories but this one is quite unique and very well written.
Wimp!
I really hate wimp stories. I hope you intend to finish it, with a non-wussy ending.
Mixed emotions
I am not one of the "nukers" but how would he ever know what her true feelings were for him if they got back together? However, with your ending it leaves it open to so many possibilities.
Excellent story and writing
Wimp? Some people have a warped idea of life and of "wimps."
Outstanding story!
When you read JPB stories you get used to the open ended endings which does not bother me. Given what Kelly went through over the last year - losing Rob, slutting out to no telling what number of men to feed her attention fix and the accident where she lost it all I do not think a dance with Rob makes him a wimp. Given that Rob did not come running to her after she went home after the accident it would be very unlikely that he would get back with her. Brad was right that given the right situation in the future Kelly would cheat on him. It just would not fit what he intended for his life.
chapter 2
i think the story needs one more chapter.
who
who would want a bitch? a winp .........
Take her back
The best reason to take her back is to string her along & then dump the cheating whore as painfully as possible.
A new beginning.
Just tell Kelly the lovers she had in the past doesn't matter. That is how it would be with anyone else he dates so why should he hold her a higher standard?
90% of women that get married had other lovers. Men accept that. Unless he dates a high school girl, it doesn't much matter who he dates, she will have had sex with other guys.
Nice story but a pity for the open ending
To SleeplessinMD2: she didn't lose Rob, she threw him away willingly.
To Dwornock: whether it's during marriage or before, she cheated and deceived. Behaviour like that leaves mental scars. Broken trust can seldom be repaired.
JPB made it an open ending - which I personally don't like - so everybody can fantasize his or her own version of what comes next. Either he just dances with her because he feels sorry and walks away or they reconcile and (re)start life together again. If it's the latter case I hope she learned her lesson and values what she threw away more second time around.
As to the open end stories, it always bothers me some. Sometimes it's good to leave things to the reader's imagination but mostly it is just sloppy work.
Miced ' Emotions !
I like it but I don't like that I liked it . Ah well, facially scarred & disfigured girls need love too.
Great ending!!
Shows just how much he did love her.
This makes me mad
Oh, not the story. The story was first rate and painfully realistic. I am not one of the people who (usually) ding open ended stories either. This one didn't bother me.
I get angry at women like this. They trade on their looks and trade up. They go out and play and play...and when they use up their youth, they 'offer' themselves to great guys as some kind of consolation prize. "Oh...I can't trade on my looks...what are you doing now that I need to retire?"
Well...fuck you lady! She could have been a model AND a good girl. Nope...she went out seeking greener pastures.
I hope he gives her his dance and finds someone else. She tarnished the Golden Couple. He has no blame.
just another moron
fuck her move on and find a real woman.
well
Do you really want a girl because you are the only one left she can have?
pfff
And she reject him...again
And he takes a cheater back...
Because cheaters you know, all they like is different peters.
Once a cheater sitting on other peters, always multiple peter cheater.
The exact verdict
Higher percentage JPB's stories deal with non wimp husbands, but JPB writes longer epilog to low percentage stories...................
I SURE HOPE THE WORD WRITTEN ON HIS FOREHEAD
was not indelible. TK U MLJ LV NV
A good guy
For a not so good gal. I really hope he doesn't take her back.
NO
He shouldn't take her back. Back when she could have anybody, she did everybody who could do something for her. Now that no one want's anything to do with her based on her looks. suddenly he's good enough?
Hell no, leave her be.
Damn
I guess some people never learn.
negative rating
well
Excellent writing.
The story was great, makes you think.
Can a person change? Can a truamatic event change a person?
Is she worth his effort tos ee if shee ha changed and can he overcome that level of betrayal?
yes great story.
5
great LW story
hmm
So now that she cant have what she wants, he might get her back?
I dont think so.
She didnt change, she just has no options now that her primary wants cant be met.
"Gosh, Dear, now that you're ugly, could you maybe only fuck me...?"
He didn't go to her home when her mother asked after the accident. How is seeing her in person any different...?
She STILL decided he wasn't what she wanted... And even more, he isn't what she WANTS - he's probably going to just be what she has to settle for.
What a stellar reason to have someone decide to be with you.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to The Beauty Queen or
More submissions by Just Plain Bob.