Can't wait to read about the Further adventures of Ashley & Mike and his Lil Sis. Who knows he might have 2 Kids on the Way if he dies sis Bareback as well.
by
Anonymous11/21/09
needs more ..
needs more (hopefully to follow) story, and better (perhaps slower) pacing at the start.
(per your profile)
You should add reader231 to your favorites.
by
Anonymous12/08/09
good start
your writing style is good, but it needs more buildup. This isn't a instruction manual, show us more character depth, what's going on in their heads.
English
Nice
Loved it! Wish my sister's friends were as nice!
Great Story
Can't wait to read about the Further adventures of Ashley & Mike and his Lil Sis. Who knows he might have 2 Kids on the Way if he dies sis Bareback as well.
needs more ..
needs more (hopefully to follow) story, and better (perhaps slower) pacing at the start.
(per your profile)
You should add reader231 to your favorites.
good start
your writing style is good, but it needs more buildup. This isn't a instruction manual, show us more character depth, what's going on in their heads.
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