All Comments on 'Adult Alphabet'

Not bad at all! In fact, it was quite a fun read . . . full of . . . clever little surprises

I especially liked the strong contrast between y and z

Despite a certain intelligence, this is not a poem. It is more like a cat-in-the-hat children's primer.

although I am not your anynomous commenter, I do have to agree with anynomous here. While the acrostic form gets tough I think you could have done more here.

I finally tracked this down because I was interested in the thread you opened about it. I agree the poem needs work, but I don’t think the anonymous comment encourages you to do anything differently. I liked some of the lines, but I never got in sync with the sound of the language used. I’d keep those lines that have a pleasant affect on the ear, and then I’d use grammatical or poetic devices for variation and hopefully some sense of originality. For example, I might have used enjambment for the b and c lines, suggesting bisexuality and its union by way of the enjambment. I keep thinking about vulva as having two dangling participles and would have somehow tried to express it in those terms. Finally, for some reason I think of masturbation as a run on sentence, but I’m afraid that I may be disclosing too much now about my strange of humor. In any event, this poem has potential, but does need work, and I hope these comments were helpful.

i thought you did an ok job. i have one similar to this on here so i can appreciate this poem.

nice work.

smiles and smooches, lawrobbur