Though he should have done the girls, the hell with Audrey.
are you fucking retarded? so because he couldnt get over her cheating (it was cheating even if she didnt fuck those bikers) asap, she wants to move on after a few months. wow, she really did love him and she showed him that by fucking mark almost the whole time they were seperated and the whole time they got back together. shes selfish, immature and a lying whore. even after everything that bitch did, he came to her apologizing for being a "stick in the mud" and unforgiving and ask her to come back to him? jesus, thats not love, no matter how you dress it up.
One of your better stories, in my opinion. Personally, I would have a LOT more difficulty getting back together with Audrey. She proved (twice) that when things don't go the way she thinks they should, instead of talking to her husband, she turns to another man. She knows she's on thin ice and still she has to keep Mark interested, just in case? This woman is not committed to her marriage and her husband, she is not committed to her affair and her lover, she is only committed to looking out for Audrey.
It was almost as if the last scene was the whole reason for
the existence of the story. The motorcycle gang was the central item of the first chapter but almost disappeared in the second chapter. Really I did not develop any feelings about any of the protagonists but the plotlines were interesting..
Could I, would I take back such a woman as Audrey? No she doesn't know what she wants. Rob hasn't changed, he is still a 'stick in the mud' so what is she really going back to? The answer is the same man she left. She knew he was like this when they got married so she should have really told him what she wanted. I hope they do stya together but with the wife's previous record it's not too likely is it.
After Rob lets Audrey back into his life... she leaves him a 2nd time!???
even though she did say she would stick with him "no matter what...."
so how does Rob react? he goes after her?
No wonder JPB's stories are all about super wimp men wioh no balls and no sense of self and integrity
Audrey tell him to leave... and because of HER interactions with DJ and the Motorcycle Gang ...Rob's is ALMOST killed several times!
Yet Rob NEVER once brings up this ppoint.
Rob says I cant trust you Audrey. Ok fair enough
Rob says he was Bitterly hurt by the way she said told him you are No good and I want more. Again that is fine as far as it goes.
BUT... Rob was almost killed twice and this fact he never brings up. Instead Rob after learning from several sources Audrey never had actual sex with DJ.... lets her back in her life.
Then Audrey leaves him a 2nd time .... and now he has go after HER at the end of the story?
Good writing but your heroic efforts to redeem Audrey really does not fly. First, Rob, in the first Part, is a no BS regular working stiff who when confronted with his cheating wife and lover gives them the boot. He did not ask Audrey about her feelings or aspirations. She made it clear when she brought to their home DJ that Rob was being replaced. Audrey was responsible for 2 attempts on his life, being on guard for the rest of his life and the death of Kari. In this Second Part you try to reduce her mistakes to just taking a few bike rides and smoking a joint or two.
So Rob finds out that she is cheating on him with her asshole boss and she had been seeing him since the time she started the trial separation process. Even if you buy the notion that she fought off an entire biker gang she kept her boyfirend boss around as an "exit" out of her attempt to reconciled with Rob. She confronts him about her affair and walks away again from the marriage. Rob like a puppy dog pledges to "really try" to make a go of it if she comes back to him. What the hell does Rob have to make up for? At this point the Rob of the second part does not match the original character. Aren't there any honest women out there who wants a stand up guy?
Thanks for the story. Do I like the ending yes and no. It could have gone so many ways.I liked all the submissions, and yours was good also, you gave love a chance, could I would I, I am glad that situation has not ever arrived.Thanks for the entertainment and lighting the fires of so many fun to read comments.Mike from Texas
doesn't even come close to following chapter 1. Nuff said
....portray women as simpletons who only serve as appendages to the men in his stories.So attempts to imbue in them complex reasoning seem to fall short.I totally agree with any reader who questions why he never confronted Audrey about the trail of sorrow she left(includes dj)but like I said not even bothering to investigate what's in this woman's head just shows howjpb diminishes them in his mind.Well at least in this story!With this author,next time could bring change.
Not a "Virtual" story, Bob, but an amazingly realistic story of how life can and does quite often work out for us. Thank you.
Well I liked it even if some others did not. Thank you for your hard work.
I have read your stories for a long time, and recently, for some reason, you have moved into a different league. Your recent stories are some of the best I have encountered, and are VERY entertaining. Keep up the good work--
All the Best,
I can see remarkable improvement in your stories in the last 6 months.
I enjoyed this part of the story. It didn't have as much impact as Chapter 01 but was still well above average. Audrey's character development left much to be imagined, which could be part of your plan. The story begs to be continued by you. You know the characters; you know where the story goes. Again, I enjoyed it. Thank you.
No matter how you put it WACC to the max
It works for me, too bad that Kari had to get killed for it to work.
This poor schnuck must like having his nuts stomped on. But this is what you get when you read a jpb story: some schmoe taking back his cheating wife. MM would be proud.
but then you started to write it down and fucked it up! your male characters have a need to get back with the cheating spouse without any real reason why? JPB can sure write a pathetic male time and time again, "but they are so well written!", yeah but a story written to piss people off is still shit.. notice i did not say think, but piss people off. Yeah a story can be well told, but if the bad guy wins time and time again....well its MM style, its just written to fuck with the readers, who just want a good fair story, BUT! MM and JPB and other writers, write great stories but they are not to be enjoyed, but just yell at the readers "FU its not about what you want, but what i want the characters to do" then its no longer about a great story but about the surprise "i made them get back together ". He cant love her or even like her so why? logically... why? nothing here in the plot and characterization says he would.
The last time I will read a story from this author. They all start off well and end up crap, in my view. A good author, just not my cup of tea. And no, I did not vote for it.
I loved Kari and the two girls, but Audrey left a bad taste in my mouth. I think that he should have built a life with Barb. She was committed to him. Dan
i liked it until aud cheated. should have had aud faithful or went with barb.
Audrey was seeing this guy 3 months before going back home - check and fine, he was seeing the girl's mother. She moved back home and yet continued seeing her lawyer lover - no check. She was still wanting excitement and now having her cake and eating it as well. Not the sign of a faithful spouse.So a strong man becomes a wimp in the name of... what? Lust? A gold plated pussy? Or some sick idea of love???
Kari was the best, but JPB killed her off. Barb would have been better than Audry who only cared about Audry. The 2 sequels found in Chain stories under Robs Saga were both far better than living with this whore. Occasionally there is a reason to try again, but this woman has no redeeming qualities. Maybe JPB should open up all his stories for someone to finish and improve.
He should have taken Barb up on her offer.
I don't care how sincere Audrey was in her confession, she STILL did what she did, and there is too much water under the bridge, and now Barb has to suffer.
Although I appreciate and respect KarenE's comments in most cases, she is dead wrong on this one. Not her fault, she simply is incapable of looking at it through the prism of being a Dad. NOTE: being a DAD is completely different than being a sire.
When I met my second wife, she came with a darling little 9-year old girl. Girl is now 21, and is in the middle of her Jr year of college, and is drop-dead gorgeous. (True in fact as well as through my biased eyes). If she ever tried anything like this story, I would also reject her, because she IS my daughter, no matter what the DNA says.
Audrey is cheating on him before they got back together and after they got back together. I still don't believe she didn't screw DJ. It would have been a better ending to sign the divorce papers, lose nothing and then take up with and marry Barb. She loved him unconditionally and would have been a loving and faithful wife. The only better ending would have been Kari not dying and Rob marrying her. Then the girls both could have found and married good guys and you would have had the perfect fairy tale ending. Going back to Audrey made NO sense. Bad, Bob, BAD!
but you could redeem it with the ultimate BTB...he just said all that to fuck up her new relationship with bossman and after watching her tear up the divorce papers in front of him and taking her home...he lets her know he was just kidding about wanting to try again. "See, we can both pretend to love somebody."
Marrying Barb would have been a pretty good way to take care of her, it seemed to me her mother was mostly afraid that her daughters would end up like her and being left single and pregnant.
You suck. Nice story until the last paragraph. You fucked it up you fucking inbred mongloid fucktard. One star for this piece of shit.
RAAC bullshit! Nuf Said!
Too many characters had too many ups & downs, too mant flip flops.
Can't give it more than a 3 or 4.
Good thing Hathaway didn't call him a wimp. I guess?
When the other critics write fucktard, & bad story, etc. I can tell they have not lived. They have not experienced how twisted some peoples minds can be. I was in the military, stationed in the U.S., single, when I moved into this town next to another married couple, He had been stationed in Thailand for a year, came back with a falcon tatooed on his back, a Thai tree monkey, and an attitude. Man King, women slave. I personally witnessed him verbally abusing her. When she left him, he went for his gun, I intervened, he was arrested, they divorced. She later told me that he would bend her over the foot of the brass bed and anally rape her. So to those who berate these 2 stories, YOU HAVE NOT LIVED AND EXPERIENCED HUMAN DECADENCE! YOUR WORDS INDICATE THAT TOTALLY!!! I give 5***** because of the complexity of the stories, characters, cheating, and all the other human bullshit!
Very well written garbage about a so called tough guy that all along he was nothing but a cockold wimp.
The author finally wrote a manly story...tough guy! Congrats!
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