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Love the Story
Cant wait for you too follow-up. Would be nice to have MIL and Wife as his willing Slaves. Doing any and everything to get his Cock!
Show, Don't Tell
Work on your writing skills.
Your writing: As my head cleared I realized that I was alive.
Example of showing: I felt my head clearing. Was I alive? Of course I was, the question proved it.
All the conversation is she/he said. You should use quoted dialogue.
"You son of a bitch," the scraggly old guy screamed. "It's your fault. You turned right into me."
Oh Yea! make them work for it.
Turn both mother in law and wife into cock sucking sluts, and cum dumps. Thanks for the good story
Goddammit... Learn how the Fuck
To use dialog...
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