All Comments on 'Jayne's Introduction to Anal'

by duke0467

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  • 2 Comments
curiousk75curiousk75over 14 years ago
too fast!

You started out with a slow build up but when you got to the 'action' it was all over and done with in a few short paragraphs! Focus on developing your description of the individual details of the 'act' itself and the only reason your readers will be disappointed at the finish is because they don't want it to end!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Good ass story!

Gave me an erection.

Anonymous
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