All Comments on 'The Basement'

I like the stream of consciousness approach for a short vignette like this.

Normally I prefer stories with more character development so I can really get inside the character's heads, but in this case you did a good job of building arousal in a very short story.

Write more!

More please

Well done for a first piece.

Learn the basics of English before attempting to write. Use quotes for spoken dialog; thats why they exist! I shouldnt have to 'decode' what you wrote.

Thank you very much for your comments!! You guys really make me want to keep writing, I've been thinking of writing another short story but i need ideas...anyone?

As for the person that said that i should quote... writing is a form of expression, some of the most celebrated works of all times don't conform with the "NORMAL" rules. Did you know that one of the most admired works of all times was written in french and had no e's in it at all?

If you rate a story on how well it conforms to what you're used to then you won't go very far in life. Scratch that, if you rate ANYTHING like that you won't go far in life.

xoxo

Learn how to use speech marks please.

Other than that this story was as cliché as all of the others.