You did a nice job creating a sensual mood with your story. However, choosing to write it in second person left a lot of confusion. Especially in a group sex story, pronouns and names are critical. "You" stories feel very personal, yet they can be hard for the reader to really get into.
English
Sensual, but a little confusing
You did a nice job creating a sensual mood with your story. However, choosing to write it in second person left a lot of confusion. Especially in a group sex story, pronouns and names are critical. "You" stories feel very personal, yet they can be hard for the reader to really get into.
Still, a nice little read.
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