All Comments on 'Liar Ch. 05'

fucked up, really fucked up unfortunately.

Your train of thought might make sense to you... but it doesn't make sense to the rest of us. I don't know what the previous comment meant about "fucked up", but if I had to guess, it would be the disorganized transition of chapter four into five and then pretty much all of chapter five was hard to understand . . . Four ends with Sloanne(spelling?) slamming out of Gabe's room, but Five opens with a sex scene between them. I had to go back and make sure I didn't skip a whole chapter or something. A few background sentences would have been nice instead of that terribly blunt introduction that honestly came out of nowhere. Then there is the chase scene... which is alright, but not really sure what was going on there either. Fast forward to the end and that is completely "wtf?!". I felt that you rushed that part way too much. Sloanne somehow magically appears to be in Gabe's workplace... um... what? I would give you a 25, but the rest of the series has been so stellar that I will give you the benefit of a doubt. . . I'm not sure why these parts seems to lack so much conciseness.

I think though that sometimes people get confused between the past and the present incidents. For example, when I started to read the beginning of Ch5 and it was a sex scene, I figured it was the past that either Sloane or Gabe was remembering. But maybe for some people, it's not so clear, especially when there's a large gap between posting new chapters.

<p>To be honest though, I enjoyed the beginning, especially as it started to explain more of what happened "that night" between Sloane and Gabe and how it was he broke her heart. So I can understand why Sloane always feels the need to be away from Gabe. She's still in love with him but doesn't want to be hurt again.</p>

<p>The part about Gabe, though, what his past had been like, the baby scare he went through, etc ... that part does seem to have been a bit rushed. Could be me, but I was confused about the baby scare he had. I thought it may have been in his college years but it appears to be more recent since he learned he wasn't the father at Dean's bachelor party.</p>

<p>What I'm really curious about is how long has Dean known about Sloane and Gabe, and does he know he has a nephew? It would seem odd to me that, though she would keep Ethan a secret from Gabe, she'd keep her baby a secret from her family. I mean... six years, I believe it was. I just hope she hasn't deprived her son of her family. I can understand not wanting Gabe to know, especially with that "I can't, I'm sorry" note. But I'd hate to think that she'd keep her baby a secret from her brothers and grandparents.</p>

<p>I'm interested to read more. But also, maybe if you can make the chapters a bit longer. As another poster had said, your previous chapters were stellar. And I'd definitely like to see you continue this story. But if you could make the chapters longer, that would be awesome.</p>

I am liking this story. I have to admit that it can be a little hard to tell when it is a flashback at first, and I would love just a sentence or two to lead into it, but it isn't so confusing that I can't follow. As for one of the other comments, it wasn't Dean's batchelor party folks! It was Jacksons' you know the one who's wife is pregnent with child #3! Hello, just take the time to actually read what is written people and you won't be so confused! I am however hoping that she did tell her family about her son, but i will reserve judgement until I know where you are going with the plot! Please keep writing!

please make the chapters a lot longer! I absolutely love this story!

but please make it longer!

I to had to go back and make sure I was reading the right chapter before I got to the end of the paragraph. That's not good.. you need some kinda lead in, so people don't stop in mid sentence out of confusion. A confusing one page chapter, it's hard to come back for. But I will keep a look out for the next one, I guess.

the past n the present collide...interesting. i love your story..dnt make us wait. update soon please..thank you.

I liked the story but until I got to ch 5. I was so lost kinda like some of the others. I know its a story but I hate reading about a woman not telling a man he has a child. I think it could be a great story, but it needs a bit more editing