Would like to read a sequel where she finally realises her fantasy.
by
Anonymous12/26/09
so-so
could have been good except for the cheating that is never good almost as bad as violence and rape
by
Anonymous02/04/10
dream
ever wonder why they have a fantacy area? it is so writers like you that want to write fantacies and dreams can have a place to put your stories it does not belong here put your stories where they belong
by
Anonymous02/14/10
very nice
must do a sequal, u write amazingly, and cheating isnt as bad as rape etc. sure it sux but id take being cheated on than being raped. anyways amazing work etc. XD
by
Anonymous01/25/12
read your bio
for a so called published writer you suck the best thing you can do for the readers is delete all your stories and never post again.
by
Anonymous02/23/16
You're a published writer? On which planet?
You can't write, you make the most elementary mistakes in expository writing, and your story is both weak and uninteresting. No stars, if you can't be bothered to edit and proof-read, why should I bother voting? Scratch one suckfest, go find another hobby, 'published writer'.
English
Lazy
No quotations for the dialogue makes the story very hard to read. It's laziness on the authors part to not include them.
I agree with the previous commenter
With decent editing, this story could have been fantastic. All the elements are there, you just need to put them all together properly.
Don't hate
I thought this was a great story, sure quotations and paragraphs should be used but that doesn't make the whole story suck.
Fulfilling the fantasy
Would like to read a sequel where she finally realises her fantasy.
so-so
could have been good except for the cheating that is never good almost as bad as violence and rape
dream
ever wonder why they have a fantacy area? it is so writers like you that want to write fantacies and dreams can have a place to put your stories it does not belong here put your stories where they belong
very nice
must do a sequal, u write amazingly, and cheating isnt as bad as rape etc. sure it sux but id take being cheated on than being raped. anyways amazing work etc. XD
read your bio
for a so called published writer you suck the best thing you can do for the readers is delete all your stories and never post again.
You're a published writer? On which planet?
You can't write, you make the most elementary mistakes in expository writing, and your story is both weak and uninteresting. No stars, if you can't be bothered to edit and proof-read, why should I bother voting? Scratch one suckfest, go find another hobby, 'published writer'.
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