Poor Execution. I love stories that have actual conversations instead of descriptions of the conversation. But without any kind of background for the characters or setting, this is just another so/so story. I, the reader, felt no connection to the characters. There were no names given, except for the name "Kelly", and it wasn't even needed. The characters are just faceless automatons, puppets in a one act play.
I wouldn't expect much of a score on this one. Next time you write, add in some exposition and descriptions. Create characters, settings, and backgrounds for your world.
by
Anonymous05/02/11
how is that incestuous?? are they father and daughter? there was no mention of it..
by
Anonymous05/02/11
Fuck me sir
by
Anonymous05/02/11
to the second anon (prolly 2 under me)
Yes ya might have seen it in the Incest/TABOO section... notice I capitalized Taboo - it IS considered taboo for teachers to fuck students...
by
Anonymous05/02/11
love love loved it. i'm a 53 year old woman and loved it!
English
On of the best!
Well done - something creative and original. Yes sir!
lame
terrible. no content. looks like a 12 year old wrote it.
Why is this in incest?
Whats incestuous here? Terrible writing!
Why Incest
Is this supposed to be father and daughter?
Interesting Concept.....
Poor Execution. I love stories that have actual conversations instead of descriptions of the conversation. But without any kind of background for the characters or setting, this is just another so/so story. I, the reader, felt no connection to the characters. There were no names given, except for the name "Kelly", and it wasn't even needed. The characters are just faceless automatons, puppets in a one act play.
I wouldn't expect much of a score on this one. Next time you write, add in some exposition and descriptions. Create characters, settings, and backgrounds for your world.
how is that incestuous?? are they father and daughter? there was no mention of it..
Fuck me sir
to the second anon (prolly 2 under me)
Yes ya might have seen it in the Incest/TABOO section... notice I capitalized Taboo - it IS considered taboo for teachers to fuck students...
love love loved it. i'm a 53 year old woman and loved it!
Great story!
Loved the conversation angle.
No , not Tabbo , it was politicaly incorrect to read about this detention , write about it , etc; I like a different type story. Enjoyed it.
I'm a slut and I'd love to be told like this.
awesome story!
This is the first story I've seen that's entirely conversation, and it's really hot. You did a great job with the content and the writing style.
Oooh
I love being a slut like Kelly. Great story. Made me cum ;)
Exemplary use of dialogue
Not many can tell a whole story using just dialogue. Five stars.
Incest?
Don't see the incest here. Maybe the last lines should have been:
I may be home a little late, Kelly. Tell your mom.
Yes, dad.
ummmmmm
Boring, no turn on at all. Sorry better luck next time
may not be "incest"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the category is incest/taboo.....screwing your teacher is taboo im sure
This is about 12 year old level writing.
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