All Comments on 'Lost in a Lonely World'

by dangerouslydead

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  • 151 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Sad tale, wrong category

It should be posted in NON-EROTIC category.

Sad, sad story...

PistolpackinpetePistolpackinpeteover 14 years ago
Read this on Sol..,..

....it is dark but unique,well done.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
it blows my mind,how writers forgive

wife shit and pissed on him and still he forgive.it just ant real.the whole family got problems.

louguy35louguy35over 14 years ago
Excellent story!!!

This is a realistic and instructive story about how those who should have shown loyalty can, instead, kill the heart of an innocent victim. As you say, "collateral damage." The story further shows how a person with a broken heart can find peace, of sorts, in his or her isolation.<p>

In the end, even the expressions of sorrow and apology have the ring of insincerity because those who apologize do not regret their gain which resulted from their long ago actions. Their expressed sorrow is really a reflection of their own self-pity.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Wow what a self destroying man.

Could you have painted any more as a wimp and submissive man? I agree he had no reason to keep the marriage but if he knew she was "dating" other men why did he come out the bad guy? Destroy her life, make her the guilty party in the divorce suit for adultry. And with her history he could have gone for custody of the kids with her beig an unfit mother. Nope the story doesnt wash. And making him a saint by saying he has a limited life expectancy is a good tear jerker but unrealistic. None of us have any way of knowing how long they will live. His exwife and her current husband could die on the way home in a car wreck. Try to get more realistic, you may forgive cheaters for being stupid and self centered, but you never ever forget.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Not me

I cannot say that I would be so selfless. He got shit on by all of them. They completely destroyed his life and he had to live out the rest of his life in agony: I would take my pound of flesh for this and I do not mean stopping at the 60/40 divorse split. I would leave them NOTHING when I passed and especially after the ex-wifes admission of calling him a beater- EVERYONE she or I ever knew and anyone I can find that she knows now would know what she did and how she did it. The new husband's story as well. Fuck all of them. That being said about the characters and the author's choice of the main character's mind set; the writing is not bad. For as short as the story is the characters are well presented and there is not a lot of time spent on pointless back story. What is said is well stated and to the point of the story in a full, developed and concluded story.

bruce22bruce22over 14 years ago
Very dark and interesting

He reminds me of a boxer who has been hit too often. He does though remain focused on his need to maintain the bequeathing of his genes even though the bearers are guilty of terribly mistreating him. Many people in his situation would have gone berserk and others would have drank themselves to death.

HarddaysknightHarddaysknightover 14 years ago
Questions arise.

Is the man being considerate to his estranged family, or is he depriving them of their opportunity to learn to love him again? This is good!

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
crap

bunch of crap

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
author is from INDIA

which use to be a Br Colony so it is NOT surprising that this author has No ability to write anything other than weak stupid pathetic men/ husbands.

GenghisKhanGenghisKhanover 14 years ago
One of the reasons authors write

stories that they say drain them emotionally and the stories are as depressed, depressive, and fatalistic as this is that they enjoy self-inflicted pain above all else. <p>

for, otherwise, a small, mere uplifting part on the author's part, say, having the wronged man --- though bitter as he will always be, even towards the very end --- saying that although he no longer wishes to rebuild a bridge with a family, wife and kids, and other family members who so heinously wronged him.... that he has gone ahead and created a family of his own, and he truly no longer considers the old family and extended families as part of himself.... <p>

that's all it takes. <p>

or, at the very least, have the man say something about having donated all his wealth, created after they have destroyed him, to the CHARITIES of the world, for homeless children and abused wives, and elderly care,,, and that SUCH people and institutions DESERVE more of him, of his love, help, and contribution than the family he so loved, for all his life, a family which turned out to deserved NONE of his love, devotion, respect, or labor... and that although he knows he is dying, he is happy that he has made the world a better place, by his industrious years, even in great pains and sorrows for having so heinous betrayed by those he loved the most.... <p>

I mean, why not SOMETHINE LIKE THAT? Why, I hate you so much, but I am dying and I will hate you to until I draw my last breath; but I am so glad you are all here, one last time, to hear me tell you how hateful, hatefilled, depressed, and suicidal and homicidal I am because you destroyed me so many years ago and I can no longer function as a good, loving man toward any others, although I have hookers come in and out of this big house on a daily basis? <p>

I mean, what the fuck is that?, AGAIN, especially if the AUTHOR claim to be so draining writing such a short, depressive, ugly, hatefilled story??? Again, answer: the author loves self-torture, self-mutilation, and other fetish.... since the story can be turned into a positive, bittersweet, but upliftingly positive life story of grain pains and ultimate triumph...

DrallDrallover 14 years ago
A lovely story!

Very sad,but very well done. Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Superb concept of estrangement!

This' the first time I've ever rated any story this high! 100 for sure.

I guess it's cause my wifey n kids did the same exact thing to me. Loyalty? Nada, no way. Their mother estranged them from me by brainwashing them to be afraid of me with me unknowingly attempting to keep whatever lil relationship that was left. It took a number of years before all 3 kids came partly around but their relationship is forever somewhat reticent and always kinda aloof despite my efforts. They see me a damaged goods due to their mother and I see them that way for the same reason, their mother.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
What a steamy load of crap!

Children don't choose one parent over the other based on how much money they make. Even teenagers aren't that shallow. Furthermore, the idea that everyone would disown him based on singular testimony and call him an asshole is ludicrous, especially considering how quickly she re-married. Why did the children refuse all gifts and contact with their father? Because he divorced his cheating wife who re-married anyway? And this bullshit about forgiving all of them, now get the fuck out of my life, is retarded. The author is indeed, dangerously dead. Now go away and stay dead.

Alberta  AlAlberta Alover 14 years ago
I WAS ROGER

My mother screwed around on my father and the marriage ended when he caught her. He made the divorce messy enough that her trade-up boyfriend dumped her. At 9 yrs of age I was head of the household in a one parent family. My mother used us as a weapon against my father and eventually got pregnant by another man whom she married. The second husband ended up drinking himself to death. As an adult, I attempted to build a relationship with my father. Unfortunately, a combination of the pain my mother put him through as well as the jealousy of his second wife and her daughter( he worried about and missed my siblings and I ) contributed to him being unable to give anything to the relationship. Once he became senile in his 80s and his mind regressed to when I was a child he attempted to start a relationship. This only lasted a short time until he regressed to before my birth. For those lucky enough to not have experienced this first hand, there are women who will maintain a hatred for an ex-husband who wouldn't quietly walk away with their tail between their legs. For 30 years after their divorce, my mother hated my father and blamed him for ruining her life.

The story was well written and explained a lot of the emotional turmoil that the ex-husband went through. When I was in my 30s I eventually learned from my own father how he suffered.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
I do not care where in the world the author reside

a Great story... I suggest those of less rating opinion to look deeply into the writing and to the topic...

GenghisKhanGenghisKhanover 14 years ago
This is a "good story"?

I WAS ROGER <p>

12/07/09 by Alberta Al in Canada <p>

My mother screwed around on my father and the marriage ended when he caught her. He made the divorce messy enough that her trade-up boyfriend dumped her. At 9 yrs of age I was head of the household in a one parent family. My mother used us as a weapon against my father and eventually got pregnant by another man whom she married. The second husband ended up drinking himself to death. As an adult, I attempted to build a relationship with my father. <p>

Unfortunately, a combination of the pain my mother put him through as well as the jealousy of his second wife and her daughter( he worried about and missed my siblings and I ) contributed to him being unable to give anything to the relationship. Once he became senile in his 80s and his mind regressed to when I was a child he attempted to start a relationship. This only lasted a short time until he regressed to before my birth. For those lucky enough to not have experienced this first hand, there are women who will maintain a hatred for an ex-husband who wouldn't quietly walk away with their tail between their legs. For 30 years after their divorce, my mother hated my father and blamed him for ruining her life. The story was well written and explained a lot of the emotional turmoil that the ex-husband went through. When I was in my 30s I eventually learned from my own father how he suffered. <p>

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++ <p>

A man --- whether it was your real dad or this fictional character --- going to his grave, saying to those who heinously wronged him: You made me so pissed off at you, at the world, I am going to my grave being pissed, at you, at the world, and I fuck nobody since you ruined my life but a hookers. I have brain tumor and I am dying, but I hope you know that and feel bad about what you put me through, you bad, evil people. I hope you suffer, putting me in this hell on earth, all these BITTER years... ??? <p>

Does THAT make them cry big tears for YOU?, people who shit in your meal and soup everyday, for years,,,, you gonna tell them you're dying of brain tumor, after years of being a bitter, bitter, ugly man,,, that somehow they are now crying big tears for you, as the AUTHOR here said here? <p>

What complete gibberish nonsense. <p>

Sociologists and psychologists know that people who live to be very old and in HEALTHY physical and mental state, are people who have a sunny side, and are always resilient, and don't dwell on ugliness and bitterness, whether self-created or heaved upon you by others. <p>

For a man who is bitter for over a decade, dying of brain tumor from god knows what, and has nobody but hookers to fill his days, for him to broadcast his hatefilled, self-wallowing last moments to a family which casted him aside years ago... to say they will be sorry when he's dead! It's complete nonsense! <p>

That's a "good story"? LOL

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Very Depressing

Didn't like it much.

PistolpackinpetePistolpackinpeteover 14 years ago
Have to respond to "Genghis"....

....Number one.YOU put your OWN spin on authors words.He wrote a very clinical diatribe.It is YOU who assign it overtones of sniveling self-pity.Number two.Shrinks do not live in the real world.And sunny dispositions are for self deluding morons.Number three.Attempting to debate another readers real life experience is the height of arrogance. Even I'm not that pompous or contentious.Number four.The protagonist's whole argument is that he is aware these selfish people are unable to feel real remorse, so he won't even give them the chance.This author,who anyone who reads sol knows-rocks.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
are you ppl really that stupid?

yes, teenagers do sometimes pick a parent who has more money and yes, he had every right to tell them to fuck off and leave him be. this was a sad, depressing story and i hope they fucking die, slowly. he has every right to be bitter and im sorry to say not everyone can move on, not everyone can forgive and forget.

Poizon69Poizon69over 14 years ago
Hello Dangerouslydead.

I read your stories on SOL. Papatoad would be proud of your 'Flash' stories. As for this story? I thought it showed a lot of emotion. It was well written and you certainly made your point. Well done.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Ghenghis Kohndom

is an idiot who can't separate fact from fiction. This is a story aimed at a certain readership. Obviously GK isn't a member of that audience. That being said, he should use his mouse and scroll along over to a stroke story that involves losers and goats.

lancewmlancewmover 14 years ago
Well done

Sad and dark, but well done!

woodmanonewoodmanoneover 14 years ago
Very Dark

You're right, it is a story full of pain without a happy ending. But never the less it's a story full of remorse, bitterness, and finally concern for his children. In case everyone missed it, the man is close to death and he is trying to protect his children. Kids are kids and they will gravitate to where ever or who ever generates the most fun for them. I didn't like this story, too dark for my tastes but I feel it was well thought out and well written. There were a few technical errors but not enough to keep someone from enjoying the read. Keep up the good work.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
The Ultimate Revenge

Of all the revenge stories, this takes the cake. In rebuking his family he has sealed their future in the most tragic sense of fear....guilt. For the rest of their lives they will see tradegy as a result of their actions of the past. The son will not trust his wife, the daughter will remain unmarried. As for his ex-wife and lover, by their 15th year their past will have consumed their future, a future filled with unhappiness and mistrust. Forgiveness is the most powerful gift we have as humans. Not to forgive is the most powerful weapon. However, it is a two sided weapon. It slays not only the monster but the hero.

GenghisKhanGenghisKhanover 14 years ago
The Little Canadian Einstein Anone

Ghenghis Kohndom <p>

12/07/09 by Anonymous in canada <p>

is an idiot who can't separate fact from fiction. This is a story aimed at a certain readership. Obviously GK isn't a member of that audience. That being said, he should use his mouse and scroll along over to a stroke story that involves losers and goats. <p>

++++++++++++++++++++++ <p>

What a complete idiot are you? Even a complete retard like you KNOW this is LITEROTICA and it is complete gibberish fiction. <p>

Idiots don't need to inform each other, in fictional cyberspace, that one or the other didn't know how to tell fiction from reality. Well, I guess true imbeciles like this Canadian retard here NEEDS to inform others THEY don't know what's "real" and what's "reality" in fictional writings. <p>

The question, in any kind of writing, is: What is the purpose of the writing? Is it to inform, to instruct, to elucidate, to entertain. <p>

My comments were VERY NARROW and SPECIFIC: they ask ONLY the AUTHOR. The author said specifically that this short story DRAINED him emotionally. My question is: Why write masochistic story that is downright ugly, depressive, depressing, negative, from beginning to the end, IF DOING SO get the WRITER himself downright depressed?, especially when such a story could be turned into an uplifting one with minimal work? <p>

The Canadian retard thought the story mirrored his own retarded background --- slutting mom and a fukkin' retard as a father, "in real life" --- and it's highly elucidating, sociologically and psychologically. Okay, Einstein, if you say so!

GenghisKhanGenghisKhanover 14 years ago
A Response for Pistolpackinpete in USA

Have to respond to "Genghis".... <p>

12/07/09 by Pistolpackinpete in USA got a deer today!!!! <p>

....Number one.YOU put your OWN spin on authors words.He wrote a very clinical diatribe.It is YOU who assign it overtones of sniveling self-pity.Number two.Shrinks do not live in the real world.And sunny dispositions are for self deluding morons.Number three.Attempting to debate another readers real life experience is the height of arrogance. Even I'm not that pompous or contentious.Number four.The protagonist's whole argument is that he is aware these selfish people are unable to feel real remorse, so he won't even give them the chance.This author,who anyone who reads sol knows-rocks. <p>

+++++++++++++++++++ <p>

Why are you talking in gibberish? <p>

I did not put my own spin on the author's words. This is the second time I read this story, and this is the second site I read this story. The author said, on the original site, that writing this story drained him emotionally, although it's a very short story. <p>

My assessment had absolutely NOTHING to do with what you retards would call "skolarly" fiction; I was merely commenting on the AUTHOR's contradictory proclivity: why write such a downright ugly, depressing story if such an exercise makes you, the writer, downright emotinally drained? <p>

"The protagonist's whole argument is that he is aware these selfish people are unable to feel real remorse, so he won't even give them the chance." <p>

The problem with some people is that they think they are actually more intelligent or insightful than they really are. The "protagonist" in THIS story did NOT argue like that at all. The guy is a complete idiot, and he had NO coherent argument. Perhaps the AUTHOR intended the protagonist to be that way, I don't know. It's possible. <p>

In any event, the protagonist's idiocy is clearly displayed when he demanded that his adult son and daughter go round up his own family, including the ex wife and her current husband, and meet him at his home and he'd tell them what he's been thinking of them all these years. And this was basically what he told them: <p>

You screw my life over 10 years ago; I have since become a totally bitter man. I can't form any relationship, although I fuck hookers every weeks; I have them come here to my place, this big place, with me, a lonely, sick, old man whose every waking hour is a torture, because you --- those I loved so dearly -- stabbed me in the back. <p>

I hope y'all know I am dying of brain cancer. Well, if you don't, it doesn't matter. But I hope you feel really guilty for having turned me into this bitter, old, sick man who has no family and who refused you, who're supposed to be his family! I will go to my grave angry, bitter, and pissed at you and everyone who has ever wronged me. <p>

That was the "argument" the "protagonist" of this story said. Not what you, some retard, said he said... <p>

Now, again, chances are, the AUHOR wanted it THAT WAY. I have no problem with the story itself, however ugly, dark, or downright depressing. I merely observe: Why write such a story if it gets YOU, the writer, downright emotionally drained and depressed?

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Great!!!!!!!!

This was a great story. One of the best in this loving wife section. More please!!!!!!

anothermarrieddudeanothermarrieddudeover 14 years ago
Good story

There certainly ARE a lot of pundits around here, aren't there? First off, can we learn to enjoy a story without it playing out EXACTLY the way that WE'D have it play out if we wrote it? Secondly, why rate something so low when you don't like where the author takes it? Heck...writers like HDK and Ohio are GODS to me, but I often wish they'd have done something a little different.

I could definitely identify with this character as someone who has been in a similar situation, though significantly less sensationalized. As those who have ever read my humble efforts would agree, I think guilt is the most powerful revenge there is and THAT'S what I think the protagonist is doing here..... heaping it on.

Oh...one more thing....what's with giving a low rating and citing the protagonist being a wimp, but doing so anonymously? Really? Think REALLY HARD about that, then come see me.

SELSTIMSELSTIMover 14 years ago
A BITTER STORY....

about a self-aware lonely man that still cares about others enough to the point of putting their needs before his own. That being said, it was a prety good idea for a story. Albeit a sad one. However, there were quite a few grammatical errors, mostly sentence stucture and the improper use of some words that hindered the flow of the story. It was very interesting that these mistakes actually added to the authenticity of the jumbled thoughts of a severely depressed man. I found myself actually thinking like the main character as I stumbled through the words. (Please take no offense I do not judge people. For all I know you are Chinese and English is your second language) I really can't say the story was entertaining but it truly was an experience. I've heard of a type of writing that is purposefully jumbled in such a way to burrow past ones intellectual defenses to drive home the message effortlessly. By reading the comments it seemed to work. You can also tell which readers don't deal with sadness very well. These people tend to turn sadness into anger and lash out at others around them. Read the comments and you can actually feel the anger and spitefulness. I'm not sure if the halting flow was by design or not but you have written a truly powerful story. I hope you're not a member of congress. A story like this could start wars. Thank you for the experience

SELSTIMSELSTIMover 14 years ago
anothermarrieddude

Sorry, I couldn't resist. Guilt is learned. Some people react to guilt more than others. When it comes to Catholics I would agree with you that guilt is a powerful weapon but this does not hold true for everyone. However, I agree with eveything else you said about the comments and HDK & OHIO. I think "living well" is the best weapon. Guilt hurts but regret will kill you. So, if someone screws you over and takes your wife or your money, write a book based on it and become rich. The regret will kill them.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Don't buy the behavior at all

I'm shocked by how many here think this story is realistic... wow, what shallow people you must be spending your life around. The husband gave up and walked away letting all the other people think he was an ass... there is NO WAY that all their adult friend would favor the cheater unless they already thought Dad was an ass... which is not what you chose to portray... the daughter was 17, if she loved her dad she wouldn't have walked, just not realistic that she is in tears years later. Son at 15 is borderline, maybe he was an idiot. The reunion, 'bring your mother and her husband' yeah right? he wouldn't be so motivated, and there isn't even a practical reason, the quotes in the story are just silly. None of this lines up with any normal human behavior.

morefunnmorefunnabout 14 years ago
Well Done.

Well written and executed. A sad and dramatic story of the damage done to a man who by all standards was innocent. Then deemed a wife beater. Well writtne and sometimes when you beat a man done, you break them. He was beaten and broken and found a way to live his life. So they wanted back, why? So he can get hurts again? Plus he doesn't want to hurt them. Let alone any of them to experience what was done to him. He was the better man and person.

Well written and story worth telling. Sad yes, but well done.

Thanks for sharing.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
reality

There was the impact cause by wendy, roger, susan and darin. Wendy said terrible things and will not acknowledge to the world what a horrid bitch she was? Those children shedded any residual caring for their father while wendy traded up? A different world was created, where it came with its own reality. As for his future and worldly goods? They are his and better to give them to charity, where more likely to do some good. The 4 left as they came, effectively strangers. And him, he's come to terms with his life, noting what it lacked.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
That which apparently most commenters missed is . . .

there is no way a husband can say anything that will convince anyone he is not or was not a 'wife beater' or abused her verbally or emotionally to 'please' anyone including any kids due to their mother brainwashing them. Ten years is a long time, long enough he adjusted well to his then new status and using whores to satisfy his libido is all right given his lack of 'love' given him by his family with no desire to get together with another fem.

Of note is the type/kind of comments so radically different tween the genders, that's always a truth in reading any of these stories and yes, 99% of all these stories are written by fems who have little to no knowledge of men in general or a particular man in specific.

Most fems would never do as this man did, they cannot be themselves and 'need' another in their life to 'feel complete' - whether with another fem or man.

The 'trading up' is actually the more prevalent justification for a fem to cheat in the first place, whether financially or his bigger cock or because he pays more attention to her than did her husband - in other words the 'other man' is more attractive in all ways the fem wants a man to treat her including kissing her ass and licking her dirty ass hole.

GrumpyGambyGrumpyGambyalmost 14 years ago
Misguided nobility

One cannot truthfully claim to have forgiven, if bitterness remains. The two are mutually exclusive. One cannot seek revenge if true forgiveness has taken place. The man is still wrapped up in his pain, his bitterness and as a result, unable to see the truth of his actions.

He was not, in fact wishing them well. He was laying himself down on the railroad tracks, martyring himself posthumously. He was setting up perpetual revenge against his ex and children for once he dies they can only seek to forgive themselves and their crimes were indeed heavy. He was lying to himself that due to his impending death, his children and grandson would be better off not reentering his life. A weak and flimsy excuse, at best.

Danger Man: Your title says it all. He truly was lost in a lonely world that he was thrust into, but always had the power to leave. He just couldn't see it.

Excellent thought provoking story! Class dismissed...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 14 years ago
A really Sad tale.

Your characters, including the ex-husband, are all sad examples of what human beings should represent. This leads me to believe that the Author is a sad example as well. Your stories are quite simple and childish... Read some of HDK or Ohio's stories and develope your characters so as to make them more sympathetic or hateful, whatever...

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
what people do

Wendy Roger and Susan screwed over their husband/father, respectively. All the kings horses.... applies here. Susan made that gesture with the gifts and Wendy said those vicious things. Perhaps she'll tell the truth at some point? No. All of them can live with themselves, and that is what they do. Any money should go to some charity,more than those people. He was pushed there and adjusted, as did his former family

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
wtf!?

"I am sorry for taking your family away from you but by refusing to establish a relationship with Roger and Wendy you are punishing them for a youthful folly. I have only wished for their happiness and if it makes them miserable to be away from you how can I be happy?" are you fucking kidding me? a youthful folly!? his kids were fucking assholes and they deserve to live the rest of their lives with the guilt and shame. youthful folly my ass. fuck them, fuck them all-they only want to see him to appease their guilt, not because they love or miss him. people dont change and i cant reconcile the change in their characters. they went from selfish, evil teenagers to what? respectable adults who now realize how fucked up they were? hell, most if not all kids are adults by 15, especially in this day and age.

0649d0649dover 13 years ago
my two cents

This is a very bitter story. It is MEANT to be written this way, so those criticising the ex-husband are missing the point - it is written for people who have reason to be bitter, and who just want to feel connections to other people, even fictional. Heck, the "loving wives" category with lots of revenge stories is for those who feel scorned. Yes, happiness is your own responsibility, but the feeling of bitterness can be overwhelming and take YEARS to get out of, especially if you lose those you love. Think about bereavement for dead close relatives. Then think of someone who broke your heart, and multiply that by 3.

I think the fact that he had a disease pushed him over the edge, because I am sure he's not insane and was not planning on heading for decades of upset feelings - if he didn't have the disease, I am betting he would have made his own life with a wonderful woman (I was going to say "another wonderful woman" but that would have been wrong) with children (or make children) by the time his former children came around!

To those criticisng how realistic it is, it is somewhat realistic. Everyone tends to suffer in a divorce, but fathers usually do come out worse in a divorce if they had been the main earners spending on the family. That, and the family courts are fucked cos of old laws that need rethinking (and reshaping) now! I just wish that he could have used proof of his ex fooling around with many different men to get custody so the bitch wouldn't be getting child support.

He's supposedly forgiven them, but I think he's just putting them on a guilt-trip, and he's partly convinced himself that he need not be happy because (I suspect) he's clinically depressed as a result of the divorce and the aftermath of his ex-wife's false allegations. In a sense he is living like a robot, just waking up and doing the same routine everyday, then going to sleep again. All his actions are a result of this - including the seemingly nonsensical way he talks and wants everyone to witness his rambling, which is why he says they should all come and visit for his next speech. People do all sorts of stupid things that a person in his right mind would NOT do! I know from my experience ... I once wrote a long apology letter and sent it. When I woke up from my funk, I was disgusted with myself!

His ex was a really shallow and callous bitch who even now is happy to deny the truth to the whole world and all his former friends who broke up with him. None of them can make it up to him and they are not even trying as they have not even thought of what to do to give him those years of his life back. The daughter can't take her gifts back from her father, the son can't give him all those years back and the wife is not going to tell the truth. It's as has been said just an attempt to remove their guilt.

I don't see why it took them 10 years - it shouldn't have taken more than 1 year for his children to realise they made a mistake, or 3 years at maximum (with his son being 18). Heck, they lived with him, and they believed his ex was on their side? They were old enough to have figured out the truth. I am thinking that he partly doesn't want to go back to them because it would be more painful for him to be with them than it would be for him to just think of them as he waits for death to approach - it's not so much about him dying on them! As GrumpyGamby has written in his comment, he still feels bitter and he cannot forget and nor can he completely forgive - 90% forgiveness, maybe, but 10% still bitter. He is deluding himself.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
a hero

the man is a hero. The one thing he should have done was spit in evil face that being his ex family.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
embelish D..ASS

nice start but u droped da ball cunt....mrbill

RePhilRePhilover 13 years ago
I guess your handle says it all

Death and depression seems always to be central to your stories. Too bad

BigJohn601BigJohn601about 13 years ago
The best revenge is supposed to be living well, but...

He was too easy on "his" family. He was the only one who really suffered because they were too concerned about themselves to care about him. He should have made sure to leave them nothing but grief instead of an inheritance. Make them see what their greedy souls were being denied and rubbed in their faces.

bigguy323bigguy323about 13 years ago
I generally like your work. In this case I don't really like the main character so, it's hard to like the story.

As always, the story is well written. The issue for me is the wimpy response over time of the protagonist. He is just, ....well....wimpy. He had the courage to fight for his fair distribution in the divorce and to go on to earn a prosperous living after the divorce. Yet, he didn't have the courage to get on with living.

Sad. Too Sad.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
I liked it.

I live on the darker side of life, therefor I am able to relate to this story and enjoy it for the fine story that it is. Please continue, it give exercise to the thought process. R.T.

Celtic_SeekerCeltic_Seekerabout 13 years ago
True

We all live in a lost and lonely world!!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

what is he man, robot or even he is human-bing.he didnt even have 2 talk to them.is he even father of them???????? he should have take DNA test. and what kind of world he live? even he didnt do anything bad all friends and family member hate him and the wife and kids who do everything bad world love them

FD45FD45over 12 years ago
Sorry

I like the last reveal. It was good.

That said, I found the writing very stilted. Almost painfully so. I've been guilty of it in my writing, so I'm not being a hypocrite.

and it's 'quiet' not 'quite'

The baby was quite quiet. Heck he was hardly breathing.

JLRemoraJLRemoraover 12 years ago

This story brought out things that most of don't want to think about, much less experience. It was a dark story, filled with raw emotion, that left a man haunted by the past and the future. Is it easy to give up one's life due to resentment, anger and hurt? For most people, no, it wouldn't be easy, yet it occurs all the time. In the end, he was damned if he did and damned if he didn't. At least, through his rose colored glasses.

Even though the story was readable, with the pain and conviction shining through admirably, the overall "savor" of the story is a bitter one.

tazz317tazz317over 12 years ago
A POLITE, DECENT WAY

to accuse and deride those who sinned and put it in their face and closed the door. TK U MLJ LV NV

betrayedbylovebetrayedbylovealmost 12 years ago
Sad

In essence he forgave his family for screwing him over but does not want any parts of them now. When he dies in six months he feels that what they don't know they will miss. Little does he realize that it will make them feel horribly guilty for the rest of their lives. Good revenge from the grave.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Traitor

buggered by the meaty cock, the fat cock smoked, betrayed!

cantbuymycantbuymyalmost 12 years ago
did the fucking cunt

ever go back and tell everyone she lied about him being a wife beater?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
cantbuymybrain

Read the story fuckwit, or are you one of those mental midgets who try to insert extra stuff into a story? Classic closet cuck, can't write for shit but gotta tell others how to. Physician, heal thyself!

Huedogg2Huedogg2almost 12 years ago
what I don't understand is why so many authors destroy the husband

this is just another story where the husband is destroyed and the wife lives a happy life with her sorry assed children while the man that did everything for them gets fucked. WWWWWWWOoooooooohhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooo, I wouldn't have even let her kids in.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
I have read this story

four times now and still don't like how the man handled himself.

tazz317tazz317almost 12 years ago
#2 A PRAGMATIC SOLUTION

with truth and false remorse from the cheaters and a polite GO F---Y---------. TK U MLJ LV NV

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Don't agree with the husband's strategy

In my own life (and I am older than anyone in this story) I have always found that when it is all said and done, the truth is the best medicine for all our ills. His kids loved him, he was not senile, is he only minutes to live his loved ones wanted to be held and caressed. His former wife was most cold hearted and cruel for the lies about this abuse of her, she deserved nothing from him. Her husband was a predator and opportunist and took away his family and he to deserved nothing from him. Our hero might have felt better to have forgiven them for their past indiscretions, lies, sins and just plain asswhip behavior but I believe that truly only God can forgive somethings.

I wish the hero had realized that he needlessly hurt his children by denying them the little time he had left. Did their earlier rejection of him hurt that much and if it did how petty was that ?

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
WOW!!!

This was a very profound story. This was probably one of the most unique stories on this site. Congratulations on a job well done!

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
DESTROY

He should have destroyed their lives to the gutter of life. Give all your money to others not to a ungrateful family---DESTROY

jiminabjiminabover 11 years ago
Sorry

Mr. D I just found this way to hard to read.Not the writing nut the story. If this was a book I would not buy it. Not saying your writing is bad as it is not. It;s just this tough story. Thanks. Jim

JackWoodyJackWoodyover 11 years ago
great story

Another slice of life from the writers, (or Dad's) perspective. This is what makes one a good writer.

Thanks.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
Fuck them All!

If I was in that situation, and I was dying of a brain tumor and those idiots were stupid enough to come to my house - there would be blood shed, pain, agony and torture! They all would be bound and gagged. I would start with Darin and dismember him while he was still alive and conscious. When he was armless, legless but still alive I would sit him in the corner and start on my ex. I would simply slap the shit out of her with my hand and then a belt. When I was done with her she'd be nothing but a bloody mass lying on the floor moaning. Alive but brutally scarred for life. Then the kids would get it - not as much, but enough to make them remember it for the rest of their lives. I would mark their foreheads with a T for traitor. I would piss on them and tell them to go fuck themselves. When I was done I would pull out my shotgun and blow my tumorous brains all over them! No, I would not leave them one red cent. I would have already donated it to charities of my liking.

cantbuymycantbuymyalmost 11 years ago

the kids are garbage, the wife is a whore and the man needs to be dead.

TornadoTysTornadoTysalmost 11 years ago
Have a Good Life

The best thing the jilted husband could have done was have a good life and lifestyle.

Remarry and have mote children.

As for his telling everyone he was a wife beater, well she shoul now re tell everyone she lied and put a big ad in local newspapers, go on local radio to inform people she lied.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
Wow

There is the very definition of a man that was crushed. All the life crushed out of him. Its funny, people can destroy someone like that and then later come back and expect that person is the same one they were before they were destroyed. It doesn't work like that. I've seen it happen over and over.

betrayedbylovebetrayedbylovealmost 11 years ago
Second Comment

Fucking assholes. Cheating and disrespectful assholes. Fuck them all. Now I'll read the epilogue.

Drbeamer3333Drbeamer3333almost 11 years ago

The grammatical errors kept interfering with the story.

cantbuymycantbuymyalmost 11 years ago

fuck the gramatical errors this was fucking fantastic. and the epilogue is even better. his kids are garbage and prove it. love the story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
Well, actually he wimped out...

He got screwed over by his wife, her lover, his son, and his daughter. His payback..not holding them goodbye. Well, whoopee Doo.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Life is Weird.....5

This is a very good story, we all have to make judgement calls, his made sense to him and I can see his reasoning. Too bad he could not trust another woman. Fucin Bitches(LOL)....bill

TavadelphinTavadelphinover 10 years ago
Wow what a stort

He was right - of course - and he was completely wrong - of course -

He allowed them to destroy not just his present and his past but his future - no one should allow that - influence it? (no choice) - impact it? (sure). Completely dominate and destroy it? -NEVER!!

But he did and then he had to live with it so the end was the right one and the revenge he got, whether he wanted it or not, was complete when he died and they realized he knew it was coming when he showed them out. Proving he was better than they were - or not.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
I could...

...see it go down like that.

Wendy was going to be out of there as soon as a better deal came around. Dad just married the wrong woman (cheating, greedy, lying, scheming). Darin married the right one with the right kids, and was lucky enough that another trade up opportunity didn't come around for Wendy.

Dad's own fault he let it keep him from happiness the past 10 years.

With 3 years to live, I would waste a minute on that crowd.

TMSPTGR3TMSPTGR3about 10 years ago
Almost

I much prefer a story where reality impinges on the story. It is a copout to have him kiss off his family by reason of brain tumor.

sdc92078sdc92078about 10 years ago
Makes sense to me

After ten years, he is at peace even if he is not happy. Now he is looking at a future that is short and will be full of physical pain. Having his ex-family return now will only reawaken the emotional pain they inflicted upon him and further add to his suffering. And he is actually being kind to them as well. Real revenge would be to welcome them back with open arms so that they can watch him die, since they actually killed the man he was ten years ago.

user110user110almost 10 years ago
damn, granpappy is still emo?

gaaaaaawwwwwwd! puberty is hell, even for seniors. i blame GMOs.

sugnasugnaalmost 10 years ago
They were shit

He was right, they were shit. Just because they were shit does not mean life has to be sad! Move on, have fun! Get over it! There is plenty of grief that comes from raising kids along with the love. He missed the grief as well as the love. So, call it a wash! He shot his DNA into the future and that is good enough! If he wanted love, get a dog, and then maybe a girlfriend, no need to get married again, he already had kids. Just have fun.

laptopwriterlaptopwriteralmost 10 years ago
You were right...

Very sad, but well done. 5* from me.

firemanlitfiremanlitover 9 years ago

Not one of them would get any material goods. And the mortician would be bound by a written contract not to allow any of them to the services or cemetery. But that would not be revealed until the x-wife, her current husband and the not-his-children all confessed in writing to his attorney. All would be required to be at the reading of the will, at that time they would find out copies of their confessions had been distributed to their religious orgs, work places, and other members of the family. All of his wealth would go to local orgs such as women and childrens shelters, food banks and health clinics.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Agree with two Commentators

Firemanlit and Sugna summed up my feelings perfectly.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Inheritance

Fuck the kids. Donate your stuff to charity.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
What a wimp

This guy is way too casual about the entire situation. You raise a family only to have someone come along and snipe them only because he want's his own family. The fact that he had lost everything pleased me to no end. Being as rich as he was, it would have been an easy job to completely ruin the cheating couple. The kids at 15 and 17 when their mom deserted their dad were old enough to know what was happening and they knew right from wrong. Too much forgiveness for such a crapy thing to do to the guy.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Fairly well written but what a spineless man!

He just let himself get railroaded. So many things he could have done other than accept a beat down by all concerned. And in his will they get nothing, absolutely nothing. The problem with this is that it's just depressing. It simply wasn't any fun to read despite being well written.

kjohns2001kjohns2001about 8 years ago
They should rot in hell

The cheaters and the kids should all rot in the deepest pit in hell for what they did to him. Even in his pain he was a better man than I am. I would have either killed or crippled for life the cheaters and either let the kids go into state care or to relatives that only put up with them out of obligation. And he was leaving his money to them? Fucking hell, let them live without his money just like he had to live without them!

tazz317tazz317about 8 years ago
HE ACCEPTED HIS FATE

and made sure they did also. TK U MLJ LV NV

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
1*

What a fucking loser.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Sterile

The writing is as sterile as the seducer. No emotion pathos. Buyer poor intellectual exercise

auhunter04auhunter04over 7 years ago
all you negative folk

What you are reading and judging is a story of a fucked over man by a lying now ex-wife, who through her actions drove all his friends away.

What you are reading is the story of a fucked over, fucked up old man doing his best to get along in a fucked up world.

What would you have him do? Open his arms to those who turned their backs on him?

He and the others have nothing in common any more except for a bit of DNA.

They collectively killed his emotion toward them and now are crying false tears and trying to make things "right"

He has about 6 months to live-although Doctors have been wrong before-

I ask you why should he spend his last few days above ground making these heartless selfish brutal people feel better-salving their conscience if you will at his own expense?

xtchrxtchrover 7 years ago
An Interesting Take!

What an interesting story. I don't like to see cheaters win but these cheaters win. And even worse the ex gives up. The kids even gave up on their father...now after 10 years (and their step-father's business crashing), they want to make lovey-dovey with their father who they ignored for 10 years???? I'm glad the father held his ground and told them all to get lost.

I didn't like the fact that he did it because he was dying. I think the story would have been better if he just kept on living and living a better life...without the 2 kids, etc.

Thank you for the story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago

The follow up is fantastic. 5

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Why after 10 years?

The story doesn't say why, after 10 years, the kids all of a sudden wanted a relationship. As the protagonist, it wouldn't have mattered, but as the reader, I'd like to know.

As I mentioned in the follow up, having a wife betray you is bad enough, having the kids betray you is unforgivable. There is NO WAY I would have given them the slightest morsel of kindness.

TMSPTGR3TMSPTGR3about 7 years ago
BS

Sanctimonious trash. What a whiney jerk mouthing self-serving platitudes.

MaFreplerMaFrepleralmost 7 years ago
Another author who thinks being a man means being an asshole

A total waste. The narrator is so prideful and so willing to wallow in pain that he is cruel to his children. What do we learn from this except for the author's sickness? I don't get it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
The children deserve the seven stages of hell

At an age where they are capable of knowing that their girlfriend or boyfriend could hurt them by cheating, and yet being a fucking soul less kids to theirs fathers's pain as it was being an inconvenience to their life.....

What a piece of shit family could do that.

Hope they all rott in hell

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Is it nobility or masochism?

He is definitely entittled to feel angry and bitter. But he not being an asshole as someone else (who doesn't get it) aledges. He is being human. He is the detritus of a betrayed man, a hurt and fucked over father and husband. With the brain tumour he probably feels his whole life has been stolen or wasted.

He is a man more sinned against than sinning.

Nice job. A very well written piece.

5*

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Very realistic,,,,I've lived it. Bitterness and hate,,,,,

This is one of the most realistic stories. I've lived it- but it wasn't 10 years, it was 35 years. Unless you've been in their shoes? They pinch, they squeek and you pray that God will beat the ever loving fuck out of them- on a daily basis, and twice on Sundays.

tazz317tazz317about 6 years ago
A MAN AMONGST ADULTS

plays the hand he was dealt and allows the others to play their cards while he reveals his strategy. The righteous man till the end and leaves an emptier space in his wake. TK U MLJ LV NV

ejsathomeejsathomeabout 6 years ago
So . . .

. . . sad. 5*

ju8streadingju8streadingabout 6 years ago

the bitterness never goes away for some of us. especially when the other traitor was a family member. the law is a fickle bitch and there is no legal justice to get for the cheated spouse, but they will reward the cheaters.

so relating to this story is easy for some.

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I write as a part of my anger therapy. It is a stressful world we live in and we can find outlets in different ways. This is mine.

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