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Great start...
Liked the beginning a lot. It really grabs you.
sexy.
sexy.
Beautifully erotic!
Nicely done!
Well done
Super great! wonderfully written, super sensuous!
An amazing look into a woman's mind
You paint such an erotic picture with your words. Like an artist choosing paints to blend, to create just the right hue to capture the excitement. You have done a marvelous job of creating a vivid work of art with your delightful vocabulary. Some men are aroused by images of naked bodies and graphic sexual acts. Your picture on your bio was very nice, but the picture you painted with your words in this story was thrilling. In your story, as Rachel describes the woman she sees in her mind's eye, the image she creates is probably more perfect that the reality might be.
Ahhh! The wonderfully exciting world of fiction... very exciting.
Well done!
- Jake
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Awesome.
Great work
Well done, lovely story, great use of descriptive language. One tiny gripe - when you are using 'its' as a possessive (which you do a couple of times towards the end) it doesn't have an apostrophe.
Would welcome your views on my stories...follow the link from my profile.
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