All Comments on 'Candace Ch. 01'

....more preamble than complete story but nevertheless you imbue intelligence and ethics in the woman and this could be real, both prerequisites to erotica in my mind. Of course it's only "foreplay" so keep going but decent start.

....more preamble than complete story. You imbue intelligence (and ethics?) in the woman and this could be real, both prerequisites of erotica in my mind.Bring this "foreplay" to fruition please.

From the first sentence on, this is a mess! Well written? ...If you are in grade school. You have created adverbs and used sentence fragments. You need an editor, badly!

You have to step off from here into the false world of possibilities of erotica. What happens to whom and how?

Where does your imagination take us?

Keep up the good work. Sort out your problems on paper for the reader, and yourself.

I stopped reading at 'I never seen this coming'. Community college sounds like a stretch.

The moron who wrote that obviously only read the first sentence which was fucked up but the rest was pretty good.I guess if you've spent your life writing e-mails and twittering you might not recognize actual literature.Keep writing please.

If it was supposed to be a story the writer sure failed. It didn't make much sense. Just a peice of thrash.

You are taking the piss?

Sorry, but your editor did you no favor. The seduction of a reader begins, or ends, with the first sentence of a story.