Nerd's Revenge

Learn to use the language before you try writing!

Generally speaking, it is useful to learn the English language before trying to write erotica in it.Get a good editor and a good dictionary before you try again. This is unreadable crap.

Spelling

Spell check usually comes with computer-learn to use it !!

3 Stars...

... but you could have had more if the story was written in English!

Argh!

The lack of coherent English and the lack of any sort of continuity made my eyes bleed.

well...

well it would have been a good story i guess becausei had to read it again because of all the misspelling and brpoken english

What a pity

Who knows how good the story is? Your spelling put me off so much I stopped reading after a short time. Why waste everyboby's time like this? Every word processing programme has a spell check with it nowadays - use it!

wow

i wanted to like this, but the misspellings were very distracting. i did actually laugh out loud at the part where the girl took off her panties and flung them at "the hamster"
I think you meant hamper! sorry, but you can't turn people on with mistakes like that!

Spelling...

...sucked!

unreadable and destroys any enjoyment of the story, before it can even start...

IMHO you have to choices:

Learn english if you want to write stories in this language...

Or...

Quit forever(which would probably be the better choice for humanity)

fao mike

Yes his spelling was shit but if you're going to crticise someone's spelling, make sure yours is good first.

TO = A DIRECTION ("TO THE ZOO")
TWO = THE SECOND NUMBER
TOO = AS WELL AS ("I OWN THAT CAR TOO")

great story it needs a sequel and Petra needs to be in it with ass to mouth. have Jen spread the news about Dylan and his monster cock maybe even let them be be boyfriend and girlfriend. let them get in a threesome or gang bang. should be longer get someone to edit for you.