homeMind ControlHypnotic BlunderPublic Comments

All Comments  for

Hypnotic Blunder

byPositiveThinker©
All
Comments (2)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by AzPilot12/15/09

Thanks for the chuckles

I thought it was funny and well done.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous12/16/09

Okay, but not that good

It was funny, and you did a good job getting into your character's head. That said, the asides detracted from the story, and there was too much buildup for too little payoff. I know the point is that the main character misses most of the fun, but this story barely counts as erotic. Maybe put in a little more (or more detailed) fantasizing, or have him stick around long enough for the girls to go just half a step further.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to Hypnotic Blunder  or
More submissions by PositiveThinker.

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission.

Post comment as (click to select):

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel