All Comments on 'Growing Pains'

my interest is peaked, i thought it was a rushed love story, now, well we'll just have to wait, nice start.

Good start! Just needs a bit of editing. Looking forward to the next read.

Consider it for your next chapter.

JUST FIND YOURSELF AN EDITOR AND I THINK THE NEXT CHAPTER WOULD BE A GREAT READ.

I honestly like the plot, Vanessa and Ethan sounds like good characters, and the little cliffhanger at the end has me interested in what going to happen next! But with that being said, I advise you to get an editor ASAP. Because you had minor errors that distracted from the flow of reading, and the love scene was a bit to rush! Remember a slow, sensual build up is always better than the wam bam thank you ma'am type of stories! But great start to say it is your first story.

The plot sounds interesting, but the editing errors are a bit distracting. There are a lot of words where the last letter has been left off. Good start though, and good luck with future chapters. Don't be discouraged by the comments about you needing an editor, we aren't trying to get you down, we're just trying to help you make your writing the best it can be.

Ashira

I want to thank you for the comments. I have been reading stories on this site for a year now and I wanted to try my hand at writing romantic stories. I have been told many times throughout my schooling that I am a good writer I just have to take the time to proofread my work. I have recently contacted an editor and I hope my next installment is better than this one.

It seems that you rushed through the story. So what happened between them meeting and then you are at the present and they are going to dinner but have some steamy sex instead. Thanks and looking forward to reading more.

Divisionred

The story has wonderful potential. It's like you were so nervous in getting everything in that you missed details. Take your time, it has a good foundation.

you kind of confusing me with the wording sometimes and you really rush the story i think it could be good but you have to redraft it again and then i think it could be a good story just keep continuing and it will all fall in place

you shouldn't switch from first person to a narrator.

good start, now give us more on her life that catches us up to her life now.

Wow,this has gotten my attention!More please!

I enjoyed your story, it captures ones attention. I am waiting for the next chapter.

You might edit a bit more ie: "Honey, you cooking is wonderful."

It would read better with "your cooking is wonderful."

There are a few more but you get the idea.

This is good. Slow down a little, give us more to feed off of. What does she do to make him really like her, what really captivates him. How did the date go. Why was she trying to avoid him at first, what was really going on in her mind? Great story though.

You seriously NEED to edit or get someone to do it for you. Words missing in sentences, letters missing off words, grammar and punctuation errors make it painful to read. 1*

Really great story line. Its a bit to fast but love it. I will read this. Its got my attetion.