by SluttyBabyGirl4u
Another shit story with shit grammar.<p>Gee daddy your drunk.<p>No commas and the wrong use of a word. It's <i>you're</i> not <i>your</i>.<p>I'm getting so sick and fuqqin' tired of amateur writers that barely passed 12th grade and post this kind of unreadable dribble on here.<p>But the rest of the high school dropouts will enjoy it.
There are probably a thousand stories exactly like this on this page. Do you have no imagination at all? But even if you had thought of a good story line, your writing style would still suck.
Much work is needed on puncutation, grammar and sentence structure. This appears to be a first effort. Was it?
Total cheese! That was so awful! First of all if he was a real man the fucking would not have been fast and hurried like a teenager getting his first piece. And second of all if she was a 32 G she looked like a stick figure with tits!
ignore people who are negative about your writing. I enjoyed your story. I also like your other story "slut next door." keep it up.
I totaly enjoyed your story.It eas pleasant and graphic.My only complaint is that it was'nt long enough>i would have enjoyed that> So far as people who complain,well, if they complain about you, then they are'nt complaining about someone else .Screw them!
You should have someone look over your stories. You had quite a few punctuation errors, misuse of words and run on sentences. This story felt very rushed and fake at the end... 1 star.
Ps sorry that some of the other reviews are really harsh, you just need practice and constructive criticism.
The baby would be his daughter, not granddaughter. Just saying..
Also, it needs editing really bad.