either get an editor or reread it yourself after a few days cooling off. You changed tense in the middle of a paragraph and back again. From "I" to "him" and back again in the middle of the story. Not earth shaking but a little disruptive when reading. It interrupts the flow of thought and your word picture is blurred. I liked the story.
English
Well done
Loved the story & hope you continue writing these stories.
Not bad- good plot, but--
either get an editor or reread it yourself after a few days cooling off. You changed tense in the middle of a paragraph and back again. From "I" to "him" and back again in the middle of the story. Not earth shaking but a little disruptive when reading. It interrupts the flow of thought and your word picture is blurred. I liked the story.
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