All Comments on 'Jaded Over Women'

by andtheend

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  • 23 Comments
puppydog35puppydog35about 14 years ago
I....I....

Have no words to describe your fictional(I hope)character.Your writing was structuraly sound and well put together so I gave you a 50%.I could go no farther than that cause I just frankly hated the character.

Poizon69Poizon69about 14 years ago
Nice try.

It just didn't quite work. But good luck with you other stories. I do think your character should really stop getting married though.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
Very funny

This was very funny. Those previous posters who missed the humor in this missed the story.

Don't fret, Andtheend, for someone to hate your character, means that you moved them.

Good job.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
It had moments.

The humor was there and it was obvious, but trying to make a joke in almost every sentence was too much. If you had been a bit more subtle, it would have worked better. It also seemed a bit disjointed and had no flow.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
To:Missed the humor

How could anyone have missed the humor? I felt battered to pieces by it, it was fuckin relentless, and so in the end it failed. Good effort, great last para.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
waste of ink

waste of ink

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
waste of ink

waste of ink

digdaddyrichdigdaddyrichabout 14 years ago
satire at the least

fast paced humorous and short. Well written and a funny ending. Thanks

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
To "very funny" Anon

You bet I was moved all right, moved into almost screaming being irritated at the humor. Way too much humor. I can see why this guy had three wives, he is not only arrogant but a complete asshole. This guy deserved the kind of wives he had.Since when is gambling more important than a cruise, and since when is his cheating all right and hers is not. Humor yes, but way overdone, making it a less enjoyable read. ML

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
Coulda been a contender.

Good premise, great writing; but your "hero" was such an asshole, he deserves to be single. All I know for sure is that after three wives, he won't have two nickels to gamble with.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
Kidding, right?

Absolutely nonsensical!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
Very funny

Anybody who didn't like this story is not from NJ or NY.

PistolpackinpetePistolpackinpeteabout 14 years ago
forced, not that funny lines.....

....become a battering ram indeed.But different.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
what a basher

a good read entertaining and very real loved it!

EMiamiRiverRatEMiamiRiverRatover 11 years ago
It's a good thing...

I can type and laugh at the same time. The tongue-in-cheek humor was beautiful. If this was based in part from something in your own life, it's very clear that you are over the hump on recovery. Good job, but not your best. 4/5.

LickideesplitLickideesplitover 11 years ago
Been there, wish I'd said that!

Great humorous tale. Pity LIT doesn't have a 'Couples Who Deserve Each Other' section! AKA the 'Lets Play Russian Roulette With An Automatic' category!

betrayedbylovebetrayedbylovealmost 11 years ago
Nice

Great change of pace. It's good to laugh once in a while.

NexttimeroundNexttimeroundover 8 years ago
Brilliant

and funny.... loved this story and the way it was told.... can't live without them, that's the truth!

What happened to the girl friend he referred to earlier?

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
i just chuckled all the way though

i can relate to it lol -----5

26thNC26thNCover 3 years ago
That was funny

I don’t care who you are, that was funny.

jimjam69jimjam69over 2 years ago

Might as well go for four.

Marklynda2Marklynda211 months ago

Sounds about right, lol! A very well thought out and written story. I definitely look forward to reading more of your work. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

Reader2021Reader20212 months ago

Ok… story; I dislike cheaters….

Anonymous
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