This was a great dance between two strong personalities. It bothered me that his inner wimp was in charge as he grudgingly accepted her 3 (that he knew about) hook ups with other men. But each time he got stronger. One might question if each time his love got a little weaker, being chipped away by her actions. She is very self centered and justifies it by saying she is controlling. Not telling him that she is rich and dropping him in the middle of a prenup meeting without any warning totally ignored any consideration of him. Was this domination or thoughtlessness? But as I said, each time he gets stronger to the point where she can no longer tempt him into submission. I look forward to the next chapter although I'm not sure where this can go without him backsliding into being a wimp or her being more devious and hiding her activities even more. This will be a challenge for the author to keep interesting and yet believable.
WHY does he LOVE meave? what does she bring to the table besides deceit lying & manipulation? so far that is ALL we have seen.
This KEY question is never answered so the story never works. Since this story has been posted before her and on other web sites... I can say that this is a story of stupid slow witted weak willed Man.
yes of course Rob takes her back....
why does it take him 30 seconds to redial in the age of cell phones and auto redial buttons?
Didnt he demand PROOF of her sexual clean health since she was fucking other men? when where does Meave provide that? No matter Rod starts fucking her again.... Yawn.
why is it that every time... EVERYTIME... Rob says he is done with this whore he ends up NOT confrotning her but Fuckin her?
wait until you read chapter 2--- it is Vile and awful and absurd in every sense of the word.
JPB, this one is well above your average. Interesting. Can go in a dozen different directions and still captivate the reader. But if this turns into another marathon of yours, you'll lose my readership long before the 17th chapter. Anxiously awaiting the next installment.
He never got an agreement to an exclusive relationship from her so she was not cheating. He did forget that what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. I admit that
I would have been curious enough to read the agreement. It would give me more ammunition against her in future discussions. Sorry Harry but I see no plot holes so far but that is the problem with having all ready read the next chapter. The author has no duty to answer any of your questions before he reaches end of the story. That is known as tension which is another important quality of good stories.
by
Anonymous01/11/10
Quite Good
I agree with the comment that this is better than your average work. However you do need to address some of the issues raised by Harry
by
Anonymous01/11/10
How do you remember...
where you posted a story. I started reading this, and since so many of your stories are just a rehash of plots, I was not surprised it seemed familiar. However, since this one is pretty good it stuck out and I went over to SOL and checked. Yes, there it was....not that it takes any great effort to figure out she will continue her controlling ways and in the end he will leave her....but how do you know where you posted one or another, I mean you have over 500 variations on around 5 themes. I must admit that is impressive!!! BTW...this really is one of your better ones and was graded as such.
only one way this can go, if it continues, and thats downhill. Their true personalities have shown thru, she's a round heeled slut, hes a yes ma'am I'll do that kinda guy.
by
Anonymous01/11/10
Okay??
Found the story line very intriguing but abit short on the character development - a common theme to many of your stories, that is, in the absence of one of your patent declarations! I'd like to see how you can turn this around without falling back on one of your literary traits: premature character/story line assasination. As noted by another commentator, fill the holes. Overall, its one of your better beginnings, and seems to have lots of potential. This is not to say I don't enjoy your singlets, but the more thought you put into the story line, as seen in your other work, the better the results.
You are off on a very good beginning, although as one commentor pointed out it needs to have some more character development and some holes filled. Having said that, however, the greatest reluctance in getting interested in almost any of your stories is that you generally construct a convoluted, group-sex, or left-hanging type of ending, which only heightens reader frustration.
I still do not understand what appears to be your deliberate desire to frustrate the reader when you have the potential to be a very good author. Perhaps its your history with three wives which may have left you cynical, with a feeling of inferiority...perhaps!
Nonetheless, it would be refreshing to see you really put your creative talents to work on the rest of this story.
Well, it's a fun beginning to a story — man meets psycho, man dates psycho, man beds psycho, and despite intuitively knowing this, he will probably marry psycho. Hysterical!
Alas, most of us have known good people (both men and women)who have made THAT mistake, and they always pay for it.
Nevertheless, it will be fun to see where this one goes from here. Does JPB ever have his heroes commit suicide, because this guy will be a candidate for it by the time she's done with him! LOL!
by
Anonymous01/11/10
please
just don't let him fall back again. would be stupid cause besides her looks nothing, absolutely nothing is clean in maeves character.
It's a great start but could fall all the way down
If he ends up taking her back and then shoved around... then the good start will become pure shit
by
Anonymous01/11/10
Great Story
I like the way he took charge and would not become a chuckhold if he married her and that would happen. I agree with him sending her on her way and the only time I would ever want to hear from her again would be when she kicked the bucket and her lawyer left me a cool million dollars. This story does not need a continuation because he is better off without her or her secrets. Between a couple that is to be married, there should be no secrets from the start.
Good story JPB. I have read the story on SOL and it is a good ending. Keep the stories JPB.
by
Anonymous01/11/10
Yes, this is the beginning of a very good story
Great start. Rob wants a wife and a family. She wants to study men and likes to control them. I don't think that at this stage in their lives the two will mix favorably. Can't wait to read more of the story of Rob and Maeve. RAG
Very well done and interesting. Mystery and subterfuge is abound.I'll be wanting to read the next chapter.Thanks
by
Anonymous01/12/10
Different
Getting her to go away seemes like trying to ditch a bad coin. It just keeps finding its way back into your pocket
by
Anonymous01/12/10
Well Well!!
Someone's has a good story line. Now do'nt screw it up with some hair brain chapter 2.
by
Anonymous01/12/10
Hurt
How the hell this guy got passed her first leaving for a quick fling is beyond me. He doesn't seem to have the character of a cuck but keeps letting her back. Deep down he had to be suffering badly and even doubting her ability to be monogamous. Oh well, I would have done the same and while I have never cried over hurt or pain, I would have watched her leave from the window with tears in my eyes...I wanted her to be right...not sleeping around - for ANY reason!!!
I read one of your readers comments about the story ending up well in ROL(?), don't know what or where that is but will watch for a second chapter.
Your usual great story telling...Thanks!!!
by
Anonymous01/12/10
Mystery
Please explain why Maeve really wants him. Is it simply that he is the most difficult man she has met to control, or does she really love him? If the latter, then she needs to realize she is really mentally disturbed because she hurts him every time she plays around.
I'm looking forward for the rest of the story. Good to see a person with a spine.
by
Anonymous01/13/10
I just realised
that quite a number of your readers act a lot like your lead characters. They know they'll probably suffer and still can't withstand their fascination. That tells something about your writing skill, or maybe your audience?
bother making comments on this authors stories. You know you don't like any of his stories but yet you persist in making stupid comments. Give it up!
by
Anonymous01/15/10
AWWWWWW
Awesome! Long time reader and i would say if it was the first time reading any of your stories this one would have me going through all of them! Damn near got me wanting to re read all your stories again! Keep it up!
I rated it 1* because it has to be his way or the highway. He will not date a girl unless it is exclusive. However, she didn't agree to be exclusive. Then the ass refuses to sign a pre-nup without any justification claiming she lied when she didn't.
Damn what a bitch. As a couple she cucks him when the feeling arises then fucks him to death when she wants him back. He did the right thing in the end after finding out about her true life. Now ch. 2. I hope they don't get back together. We'll see...
English
Captivating
A very captivating story. I'm already waiting for the next chapter.Thank you again Bob.
Very interesting dance
This was a great dance between two strong personalities. It bothered me that his inner wimp was in charge as he grudgingly accepted her 3 (that he knew about) hook ups with other men. But each time he got stronger. One might question if each time his love got a little weaker, being chipped away by her actions. She is very self centered and justifies it by saying she is controlling. Not telling him that she is rich and dropping him in the middle of a prenup meeting without any warning totally ignored any consideration of him. Was this domination or thoughtlessness? But as I said, each time he gets stronger to the point where she can no longer tempt him into submission. I look forward to the next chapter although I'm not sure where this can go without him backsliding into being a wimp or her being more devious and hiding her activities even more. This will be a challenge for the author to keep interesting and yet believable.
HUGE massive plot holes
WHY does he LOVE meave? what does she bring to the table besides deceit lying & manipulation? so far that is ALL we have seen.
This KEY question is never answered so the story never works. Since this story has been posted before her and on other web sites... I can say that this is a story of stupid slow witted weak willed Man.
yes of course Rob takes her back....
why does it take him 30 seconds to redial in the age of cell phones and auto redial buttons?
Didnt he demand PROOF of her sexual clean health since she was fucking other men? when where does Meave provide that? No matter Rod starts fucking her again.... Yawn.
why is it that every time... EVERYTIME... Rob says he is done with this whore he ends up NOT confrotning her but Fuckin her?
wait until you read chapter 2--- it is Vile and awful and absurd in every sense of the word.
Interesting beginning
JPB, this one is well above your average. Interesting. Can go in a dozen different directions and still captivate the reader. But if this turns into another marathon of yours, you'll lose my readership long before the 17th chapter. Anxiously awaiting the next installment.
Very Good Setup
He never got an agreement to an exclusive relationship from her so she was not cheating. He did forget that what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. I admit that
I would have been curious enough to read the agreement. It would give me more ammunition against her in future discussions. Sorry Harry but I see no plot holes so far but that is the problem with having all ready read the next chapter. The author has no duty to answer any of your questions before he reaches end of the story. That is known as tension which is another important quality of good stories.
Quite Good
I agree with the comment that this is better than your average work. However you do need to address some of the issues raised by Harry
How do you remember...
where you posted a story. I started reading this, and since so many of your stories are just a rehash of plots, I was not surprised it seemed familiar. However, since this one is pretty good it stuck out and I went over to SOL and checked. Yes, there it was....not that it takes any great effort to figure out she will continue her controlling ways and in the end he will leave her....but how do you know where you posted one or another, I mean you have over 500 variations on around 5 themes. I must admit that is impressive!!! BTW...this really is one of your better ones and was graded as such.
There is....
only one way this can go, if it continues, and thats downhill. Their true personalities have shown thru, she's a round heeled slut, hes a yes ma'am I'll do that kinda guy.
Okay??
Found the story line very intriguing but abit short on the character development - a common theme to many of your stories, that is, in the absence of one of your patent declarations! I'd like to see how you can turn this around without falling back on one of your literary traits: premature character/story line assasination. As noted by another commentator, fill the holes. Overall, its one of your better beginnings, and seems to have lots of potential. This is not to say I don't enjoy your singlets, but the more thought you put into the story line, as seen in your other work, the better the results.
This was an okay story.
Interesting to see what you do with part two.
Almost afraid to get interested!
You are off on a very good beginning, although as one commentor pointed out it needs to have some more character development and some holes filled. Having said that, however, the greatest reluctance in getting interested in almost any of your stories is that you generally construct a convoluted, group-sex, or left-hanging type of ending, which only heightens reader frustration.
I still do not understand what appears to be your deliberate desire to frustrate the reader when you have the potential to be a very good author. Perhaps its your history with three wives which may have left you cynical, with a feeling of inferiority...perhaps!
Nonetheless, it would be refreshing to see you really put your creative talents to work on the rest of this story.
Good Story
Probably best to end it now and not ruin it.
Not one of your better ones
You write some fine stories that are entertaining and erotic, but this is not one of your fine stories. Is it just an irritating story.
the Ct. Yankee
Fun, fun, fun...
Well, it's a fun beginning to a story — man meets psycho, man dates psycho, man beds psycho, and despite intuitively knowing this, he will probably marry psycho. Hysterical!
Alas, most of us have known good people (both men and women)who have made THAT mistake, and they always pay for it.
Nevertheless, it will be fun to see where this one goes from here. Does JPB ever have his heroes commit suicide, because this guy will be a candidate for it by the time she's done with him! LOL!
please
just don't let him fall back again. would be stupid cause besides her looks nothing, absolutely nothing is clean in maeves character.
.
.
It's a great start but could fall all the way down
If he ends up taking her back and then shoved around... then the good start will become pure shit
Great Story
I like the way he took charge and would not become a chuckhold if he married her and that would happen. I agree with him sending her on her way and the only time I would ever want to hear from her again would be when she kicked the bucket and her lawyer left me a cool million dollars. This story does not need a continuation because he is better off without her or her secrets. Between a couple that is to be married, there should be no secrets from the start.
I liked it
You're a good story-teller! Keep it going man.
Good story.
Good story JPB. I have read the story on SOL and it is a good ending. Keep the stories JPB.
Yes, this is the beginning of a very good story
Great start. Rob wants a wife and a family. She wants to study men and likes to control them. I don't think that at this stage in their lives the two will mix favorably. Can't wait to read more of the story of Rob and Maeve. RAG
New and exciting type of story line
Very well done and interesting. Mystery and subterfuge is abound.I'll be wanting to read the next chapter.Thanks
Different
Getting her to go away seemes like trying to ditch a bad coin. It just keeps finding its way back into your pocket
Well Well!!
Someone's has a good story line. Now do'nt screw it up with some hair brain chapter 2.
Hurt
How the hell this guy got passed her first leaving for a quick fling is beyond me. He doesn't seem to have the character of a cuck but keeps letting her back. Deep down he had to be suffering badly and even doubting her ability to be monogamous. Oh well, I would have done the same and while I have never cried over hurt or pain, I would have watched her leave from the window with tears in my eyes...I wanted her to be right...not sleeping around - for ANY reason!!!
I read one of your readers comments about the story ending up well in ROL(?), don't know what or where that is but will watch for a second chapter.
Your usual great story telling...Thanks!!!
Mystery
Please explain why Maeve really wants him. Is it simply that he is the most difficult man she has met to control, or does she really love him? If the latter, then she needs to realize she is really mentally disturbed because she hurts him every time she plays around.
Impressive start
I'm looking forward for the rest of the story. Good to see a person with a spine.
I just realised
that quite a number of your readers act a lot like your lead characters. They know they'll probably suffer and still can't withstand their fascination. That tells something about your writing skill, or maybe your audience?
GR8 Again
I'M HOOKED!!
Harry why the fuck do you
bother making comments on this authors stories. You know you don't like any of his stories but yet you persist in making stupid comments. Give it up!
AWWWWWW
Awesome! Long time reader and i would say if it was the first time reading any of your stories this one would have me going through all of them! Damn near got me wanting to re read all your stories again! Keep it up!
What a controlling jerk he is.
I rated it 1* because it has to be his way or the highway. He will not date a girl unless it is exclusive. However, she didn't agree to be exclusive. Then the ass refuses to sign a pre-nup without any justification claiming she lied when she didn't.
Damn!
Why are the bar tenders always right? Should have walked away sooner.
Excellent
Damn what a bitch. As a couple she cucks him when the feeling arises then fucks him to death when she wants him back. He did the right thing in the end after finding out about her true life. Now ch. 2. I hope they don't get back together. We'll see...
Other Partners
I wonder how she would have felt seeing him going into a hotel with another woman?
Dumb as hell
After all the lies and the cheating why would any sane man marry this cunt.
4* for entertainment
But he asked for it by not kicking her lying, slutty ass to the curb.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Maeve and Rob Ch. 01 or
More submissions by Just Plain Bob.