Transition

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Just old stuff

It may appeal to the revenge no matter what crowd, but it was unimaginative and pretty dull. It wasn't a plot, but an outline.

this was a good story

revenge at it best.he finish the what they started.

An entertaining quick story

A nice fast story of revenge,well written and to the point. Thanks

Put On?

Was that bit about a previous story an invention? I looked for the author mentioned and could not find him. Kate is an interesting person though horrible at the same time. Her need for revenge when she fails to recognize that she caused her own problem is fascinating. It reminds me of a lot of people I have known.

Curious story.

But I don't actually see any revenge. The wife hasn't gone to prison yet and the boyfriend is still free. So the whole premise of the story being revenge doesn't work. But that said it is far better than most cheating wife stories.

Uhmm, well

Sigh

Boyfriends dead, so I'm at a loss for how that was missed by a previous reader, and the wife is now on the run from the law as a fugitive so I see how she got screwed as well, but I have two different problems with the story

Revenge was kinda over the top. Don't get me wrong, I didn't shed a tear for the death of the boyfriend, but the wife's was strange. In the majority of the states only the police are allowed to tape someone without their consent, but usually they need a warrant of some form. What he did was break and enter and obtain a confession under duress, and once they show that he got her confessions from her that way, in her own home, that he was no longer a resident of, after their divorce, it would never be used to prosecute her, no matter what state they were in. She'd skate on that charge, and if that was his only proof, no case would come against her.

But I could have gotten past the above problem, but the addition of a time skip killed the immersion for me. He's telling the son about why he divorced his mother, then it time skips into a flash back, then right back to the discussion. I was lost trying to figure out why it went from father/son to husband/wife and then back to father/son and nothing marked that you did that. No breaks, no italics, nothing.

It was different, but a bit vicious though =(

-Risq

I didn't like it.

But I'll give it a perfect score to balance out the whiners who hated it because it didn't end with him taking her back and letting her sleep around.

Sorry Risq.

what I meant was he got off pretty much 'Scott Free' I realise he is dead. But thank you for putting me straight.

great

vic got what he deserved was just to short though for him to suffer as he should have...her all she did was probably prostitute herself and is in hiding in some apartment in mexico ...or maybe fla in the cuban section....hope she has a good life as a prostitute in hiding

YEAH POIZON HE GOT OFF PRETTY EASY

Only fuckin tortured to death! Well D'UUUHHH. Doncha fuckin read or somein?? Fuckin TOP stroy but cunt shoulda gone with Vic.

Good to see a story from you HAWKEY

Most writers are to namby pamby liberal hand wringers to kill even when it needs doing. Revenge is a powerful emotion and necessary. Most writers want the readers to see what a good dobee they are and let their characters get slammed around by some one who need killing. Would like to have seen him suffer longer. The FUCK YOU he shouted showed that he needed some more pain till be became a simoering sobbing crybaby
Good job though NYMINUS

What happened to your score NYMINUS

You tell us how much you like the story and then give zero??

Yes, there were flaws

Like the taped confession under duress holding up and putting her on the run... but well written and a good read!

Curious comment Poizon

I enjoy your stories, and some have revenge as an element, but your revenge not as bad as in this story and yet you knock hawkeye for not having enough??

Thanks...

I enjoyed the story but thought it needed more. I was glad to see one from you.

Thank God

there's still a few real men in the world. THANKS hawkeye!!

Re: anonymous in Maine....

...if you're going to post comments, learn to write.Learn to edit. And then learn to think.Represent my state then you'd better do it with style.A dash of elan. A certain, "je ne se pas?

Good Story; but not very believable

I broke my knee and the pain was incapacitating. It took two surgeries and a year to regain strength and mobility. IF he was beaten as bad as the story claims, he would be in rehab for over a year. A lot would happen in that time, not the least of which, another visit from the ex-wife and her boyfriend. As well, there was no emotional ramifications from murdering someone. Only sociopaths feel no remorse...and he certainly fit the bill. Breaking and entering, forcible confinement, assault with a weapon, murder in the first degree, torture and the list of felonies go on. Your hero...has some serious issues to deal with.

DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought I was reading a great story until the last quarter. "What a weak ass ending" Rewrite the last half of the story with the same story thought as the first half and you got something. Good luck.

say what you wil

Mr. anonomous, who never wrote a damned thing, can knock my grammer, structure and plotting. But, I feel good about the fact that none of my characters are wimp,candyass motherfuckers who let people piss on them and get away with it.

Out standing!!!

I understand the promise to the son, however, I would have given the bitch the same treatment as Vic...

Good one.

Keep it UP!!!

Nice little tale.

Revenge is indeed sweet, but I think he let her off too easy. Thanks for your story.

turnabout is fair paly

The Vic(tum) attitude was alive and well. Kate loses so much. Deferred feelings like she had, amazing. Letting each other just go on with the life choices, not her choice. For husband, closure.

Garbage

Not only no sex. There is no story in this story..

I just can't get into any of your stories because the wife is always this unfeeling, evil creature who has no redeeming qualities. As a reader, I need to be able to relate to the characters in some fashion to care for them, but that is all but impossible with the wives of your tales. The revenge aspect is also handled exceptionally poorly. Over-the-top violence for the lover; while being passive-aggressive convoluted bullshit for the cheating wife, as though the wives of your stories would care about not being with the husband.

Shoulda killed the wife too.

A bitch that evil(and yes,they do exist) needs a slow death.

bitch

good i love revenge ,real men dont put up with cuckold shit . i see anonymous is spouting again cause he is a cuckold ass wimp

My only problem was his pussy whipped son......

Just because a bitch bore you, you don't owe any loyalty to a cheating slut who almost killed his father. His father should have let Vic have some company on his ride to hell.

Feebleminded, inept, stupid.

As if written by a 10y old. One of the worst on this here site.

A Cuckold husband turns things around and gets revenge. Pity the wife lived most men would have killed her slowly and very painfully. I wonder what would happen if you put a tazer on woman cunt lips? I would guess it would very painful sounds like a great idea for a cheating bitch.

I liked your story.

It was short but had a lot of content in what there was.

So nice that readers can vent their hatreds over a fictional story.

This wasn't a morality tale. Why try to rewrite what the author put down?
My gripe is with the lack of editing. Poor preparation; poor story.

Damn

cut her clit off next time.....LOL

The son

was a fool... the evidence of his mother's cruelty is in front of him and he's worried about the bitch? WTF? Doesn't he have a single care at all for his father? How damn stupid is he?

Almost

A good story.

Yes

I agree with the last comment.

She didn't suffer enough and the son was a pussy.
Ahhhh fuck it.

HA

Just so his bitch ex-wife got some serious time...

I love happy endings. He had to kill Vic for several reasons. Good job.

Is everyone sure???

Are readers sure that Vic is dead? You know, of course, that one cannot drown in quicksand. You will sink only so far and then you will float. If Vic somehow got turned over on his back his face would stay out of the quicksand. If he were upright, his head would be above the quicksand. Now it is probable that, if his hands and feet were tied and he somehow got free of the quicksand, the gators, or snakes (there are pythons and anacondas now in the Everglades), or panthers would probably have gotten him, but...does anyone know for sure? Just a thought!

VINDICTIVE PEOPLE WHO RUN

are left with the ability to return, unseen and unknown,. TK U MLJ LV NV

For the person that stated that you float in quicksand...

Surely you jest. In this case the car sank, Vic was in the car. Figure it out. You are just looking for something to criticize, get a life.

Good story but he should have tortured the ex-wife a little before he put her on the run.

Too nice to Vic

Vic deserved to be dismembered pre-mortem. Then he and his pieces placed in the car and pushed into the quicksand while he was still breathing.

the wife skated and will come back to kill him

she should have been allowed to ride with Vic one last time

That is how a MAN handles things,

The woman tries to kill him

and he lets her leave town. Oooo he really got back at her. Some guys on Lit can't even get revenge right.

I missed the revenge on the ex-wife??????

So he buries Vic. That works. But all he does is threaten the ex-wife and give her a hit from the stun gun. And then she gets away. If I were in his place, I'd be looking for a new place to live, in a different state, maybe under a new name. She found one Vic. Don't you think she might find another? Boy was this failed revenge.

#2 I WONDER NOW IF THEY THINK

any different of him. TK U MLJ LV NV

Damn

He took a little too long to get his balls back. However when he did he took care of business. Great tale.

way to say "got cucked"

"betrayedbylove"

Better scenario

Vic got off too easily, break every bone in his body over a few days, then drop him in the quicksand. Don't tell the son what happened, beat the wife to death and throw her in the quicksand. When the cops start looking for them, the find out about Vic's employment and close the case as a gangland killing. The world is a better place and the son never has to find out about his sick mother.