you have to put yourself in her mind. My opinion is you have failed to do that and it read like a stroke story from a fantasising male. A guy mauling a tit and shoving two fingers up her cunt doesn't constitute wild and irrestible lovemaking. Good effort, I'll have a look at some more of yours...Mancelt.
by
Anonymous01/24/10
Amazing, isn't it?
If you give almost any past relationship enough time in the "happy recollections" part of the brain you can overlook if not completely forget why that relationship ended in the first place and focus on the good parts, or at least the not so bad parts. Give the proper environment to those foolish thoughts and you can be tempted to try and recapture the magic. You might get a flash or two of the good old times but usually you end up diminishing your old memories, and if your very lucky nothing else happens. I've seen plenty of idiots (I like to call them friends) waste time and effort on trying to recapture the past only to end up playing the fool too often.
by
Anonymous01/24/10
Another cheating slut/whore wife.
That doesn't love or respect her husband. She should just divorce her husband and fuck her new boyfriend. At the very least she should tell her husband that she doesn't love her husband and that he doesn't do it for her anymore. This is a really sad non-erotic story.
by
Anonymous01/24/10
Stupid
Nigger story.
by
Anonymous01/24/10
Spoiled little cunt
This shit is what is wrong with the world.
by
Anonymous01/24/10
Poorly written and the plot is so unrealistic..
Hmmm, 4th grade writing [did you use the graphic organizer to help flesh out the story??]. It was so poorly written that the basis of the "another boring slut-wife story" was obscured in the process. Don't writing anymore until you find a editor of some type.
From the woman's point of view, she is saying, "Look! See! I can have sex anytime I want with someone else and get away with it. My (stupid?) husband will never know. So of course it cannot hurt him. And it was as good if not better than I expected. Better than my husband in this case. So I will do it again -even if I say I will not." Selfishness and humiliation are not erotic. I know there are some out there who think it is and are in denial about how harmful it is. But this story is the poster spouses who are proud of cheating and getting away with it.
by
Anonymous01/24/10
100% Nonsense.
.
by
Anonymous01/24/10
Another cheating wife story...
Why does she write it down in a diary if she oesn't want her husband to find out...Hey dumb ass hubby...wake up..
This might have been a good story if you had included the reaction of the husband-to-be when he found about her liaison with Charles. Emotion is the key to stories like this, not just another boring description of a sexual encounter.
Really liked your story. Just ignore the morality police who constantly patrol Literotica. They are idiots. Hey IDIOTS? Get a clue, would ya. This site is called LITEROTICA. It is erotic literature. There are other websites where you can grandstand your moral self-righteousness. Do us all a favor, get lost and go find them.
The tag line says 'a chance encounter'! Perhaps a surprise encounter from her perspective, but it was NO chance...Carlito planned this one very carefully. He probably also has several plans to tap into Hubby's inheritance through Sweety's infatuation. Re-distribution of wealth, both monetary AND pussy riches!
by
Anonymous06/24/12
Very dumb.
They break up a year ago, but why? If she was still madly in love with Charles, how did she end up engaged to another man. One would suspect that there had to be a strong enough connection to make her get over Charles and if not then why get married?
This was not a well thought out story. 1/5
by
Anonymous07/24/13
great story
gave you 5 stars, great story of a cheater to afraid to let or confess to her husband, why? in reality, her ex would be making room for her if he wanted but doubt it. why, no strings attached just sex, who cares if the acts ruin a marriage. write the sequel allowing the husband finding her diary and kicking her to the curb. and write the lover being married to a very wealthy beautiful woman that leaves him for the soon to be ex husband what a twist. both cheaters get nothing
Earlier, I commented on 'Hubby' but there is no hubby (yet) - AND, she alludes to the possibility that there never would be ... at least named Alex!
THAT was the MISSED (and most interesting) part that would make this LW instead of Erotic Coupling or maybe IR. Did Alex find out? Or did Sweetie realize that wealth was nice, but good sex was more compelling? We-The-Readers were cheated out of the good (and LW appropriate) meat of this scenario. She had great sex with an old (and presumably different-race) lover, and some future-impacting consequence (denied to WTR) ensued.
English
To write from a woman's perspective
you have to put yourself in her mind. My opinion is you have failed to do that and it read like a stroke story from a fantasising male. A guy mauling a tit and shoving two fingers up her cunt doesn't constitute wild and irrestible lovemaking. Good effort, I'll have a look at some more of yours...Mancelt.
Amazing, isn't it?
If you give almost any past relationship enough time in the "happy recollections" part of the brain you can overlook if not completely forget why that relationship ended in the first place and focus on the good parts, or at least the not so bad parts. Give the proper environment to those foolish thoughts and you can be tempted to try and recapture the magic. You might get a flash or two of the good old times but usually you end up diminishing your old memories, and if your very lucky nothing else happens. I've seen plenty of idiots (I like to call them friends) waste time and effort on trying to recapture the past only to end up playing the fool too often.
Another cheating slut/whore wife.
That doesn't love or respect her husband. She should just divorce her husband and fuck her new boyfriend. At the very least she should tell her husband that she doesn't love her husband and that he doesn't do it for her anymore. This is a really sad non-erotic story.
Stupid
Nigger story.
Spoiled little cunt
This shit is what is wrong with the world.
Poorly written and the plot is so unrealistic..
Hmmm, 4th grade writing [did you use the graphic organizer to help flesh out the story??]. It was so poorly written that the basis of the "another boring slut-wife story" was obscured in the process. Don't writing anymore until you find a editor of some type.
Bragging!
From the woman's point of view, she is saying, "Look! See! I can have sex anytime I want with someone else and get away with it. My (stupid?) husband will never know. So of course it cannot hurt him. And it was as good if not better than I expected. Better than my husband in this case. So I will do it again -even if I say I will not." Selfishness and humiliation are not erotic. I know there are some out there who think it is and are in denial about how harmful it is. But this story is the poster spouses who are proud of cheating and getting away with it.
100% Nonsense.
.
Another cheating wife story...
Why does she write it down in a diary if she oesn't want her husband to find out...Hey dumb ass hubby...wake up..
if your not
if your not gay then noone is.
if your not
if your not gay then noone is.
.
.
Incomplete
This might have been a good story if you had included the reaction of the husband-to-be when he found about her liaison with Charles. Emotion is the key to stories like this, not just another boring description of a sexual encounter.
Keep writing
Really liked your story. Just ignore the morality police who constantly patrol Literotica. They are idiots. Hey IDIOTS? Get a clue, would ya. This site is called LITEROTICA. It is erotic literature. There are other websites where you can grandstand your moral self-righteousness. Do us all a favor, get lost and go find them.
Not a chance!
The tag line says 'a chance encounter'! Perhaps a surprise encounter from her perspective, but it was NO chance...Carlito planned this one very carefully. He probably also has several plans to tap into Hubby's inheritance through Sweety's infatuation. Re-distribution of wealth, both monetary AND pussy riches!
Very dumb.
They break up a year ago, but why? If she was still madly in love with Charles, how did she end up engaged to another man. One would suspect that there had to be a strong enough connection to make her get over Charles and if not then why get married?
This was not a well thought out story. 1/5
great story
gave you 5 stars, great story of a cheater to afraid to let or confess to her husband, why? in reality, her ex would be making room for her if he wanted but doubt it. why, no strings attached just sex, who cares if the acts ruin a marriage. write the sequel allowing the husband finding her diary and kicking her to the curb. and write the lover being married to a very wealthy beautiful woman that leaves him for the soon to be ex husband what a twist. both cheaters get nothing
Good Read***
Thanks.
I agree with Anon: this is what's wrong with the world. 1, at best.
'nuff said.
Errata and Addendum
Earlier, I commented on 'Hubby' but there is no hubby (yet) - AND, she alludes to the possibility that there never would be ... at least named Alex!
THAT was the MISSED (and most interesting) part that would make this LW instead of Erotic Coupling or maybe IR. Did Alex find out? Or did Sweetie realize that wealth was nice, but good sex was more compelling? We-The-Readers were cheated out of the good (and LW appropriate) meat of this scenario. She had great sex with an old (and presumably different-race) lover, and some future-impacting consequence (denied to WTR) ensued.
2* Until/unless a Ch2 clears the air!
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