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The Wrath of the Wicked Webcam Ch. 05

bysophist801©
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by Anonymous

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by Ducky701/28/10

OK the end is at hand and I like it.

Did she have to jump through hoops to get back to the family she scared? Yes and rightfully so. Did Bobby go overboard on his demands Yes to some extent, but he had to live with himself in the process. As it turned out one of their children did know of the problem. Was his actions justified in the end. If they are not happy and it seems to indicate that this story had a happy ending then yes they were. Good storyline plot and character build.
Thanks and keep writing. Just an after thought I don't like this new format for submitting comments.

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by zed001/28/10

I Love A Happy Ending!

Great story, enjoyed the hell out of it! Not sure if I would have overlooked the knob job no matter how brief the encounter, it was still penetration, and his worst fears were indeed justified.

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by KOTK01/28/10

Rushed...

The endiing was rushed. Important questions like -- where did Jocelyn stayed for seven months? How did she managed to get tanned and tonned? Harold Carpenter just let Jocelyn GO? Such people don't let their "employees" GO that easily.

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by Anonymous01/28/10

As predicted, she got away with it [minor time in the penalty box] and the

male character husband wimped out and took the slut back - what an idiot. The story overall was very interesting and will generate a lot of feedback. But some basic plot holes still not addressed; 1] was she remorseful because she was caught and asked to leave or did she actually realize what she "should have lost"? 2]. So where did she live without a job that would allow her to lose weight, get a awesome tan and pretend she went without sex for that time period? Is this even remotely plausible? No, not really but it is fiction so perhaps the masses will buy it - we didn't by any stretch of the imagination. The funny part is the family meeting - "mom is back, no real why she left or is now back", just another day in the week [no big deal] and none of the kids ever thought to ask where she was so they could go see her? Oh wait, we get it - the slut wife took a "paid leave of absence" from the family scene - no problem, maybe she collected "unemployment benefits" or welfare dollars to survive the duration. Of course, least we forget about the wimp husband - he feels justified in sending out random emails that may impact the webcam operation or not. He got stuck holding the family together [being celibate (amazingly stupid)] while she is enjoying her time away.
They then have this spontaneous earth shattering sexual encounter and he does ask for an updated STD test? Yikes, the IQ of each of them is no larger than their shoe sizes. Once again, give the author credit for having the guts to submit this fantasy but in real life no one is that stupid to keep the illusion of a marriage with real kids going - divorce would have been the only logical response [unless they had discussed this in advance and that clearly did not happen in this story]. Debra & Wayne

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by angiquesophie01/28/10

i have always

i have always been aching to use this expression and now i can:
sir, you are a sanctimonious twit.

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by Anonymous01/28/10

I like the part where the fat laughs

In the 13th paragraph, where it wiggles and laughs.

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by Anonymous01/28/10

I couldn’t believe it...

When I saw the word ‘epilogue’ for there was so much more to reveal. So many questions left unanswered. This abrupt halt in proceedings ruined a story which I had started to look forward to daily. I know it’s hard sometimes to keep up the writing especially if you feel the main points have been covered. My best regards for the preceding chapters.

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by bruce2201/28/10

Good Fantasy and well written

The fact is that I think that for the last few days your latest chapter was what everyone was looking forward to and it ended before we wanted it to be over. In this day and age the question of a new medical exam for them both would immediately come up. And there really must have been a fairy godmother backing Jocelyn for her to make that transformation so quickly and without economic pinch!! (Sure I am sure that those less naive than I will tell me that she did a major prostitution operation to pay for this change) For my enjoyment, I prefer the fairy godmother.....

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by Anonymous01/28/10

Angie has it right.

The husband in this story is repulsive. The wife was far too good for him. The writing is on a junior high level. Her "taught" stomach? Get an editor and a new view on marriage and fidelity.

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by woodmanone01/28/10

I'm sorry.

I just can't get over John sending the email to everyone after most on the list had called or emailed him as he had ordered. It was the act of a spoiled, nasty, mean spirited ass. I also question where Jocelyn was living and how she met expenses while she was gone for seven months. Where did her money come from. Did she make enough on the non-sexual web chats? As I've said before I normally don't comment on the actions of the characters and my complaints here are more in line of a critique of holes in the story. I suggest an editor or a more careful proof reading before posting. Thanks for your hard work.

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by Poizon6901/28/10

I agree with ZED0.

The wife 'almost' having sex and 'almost' giving a blow job may be a little too much to overlook. But on the whole I liked the story. The characters sound real and let's face it in these economic times who can say they wouldn't do such a thing if they were truly desperate? Anyway good story and and good read thanks for the story Sophist801. I look forward to your next story.

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by Anonymous01/28/10

not bad, not great

There are to many questions left unanswered. In the end she gave him a good roll in the sack and he told her to come home. Where was she during those 7 months, how did she afford the hair removal, its not cheap. How did she pay other bills? Where was she working out and getting tanned? Seems like she was still a whore to me. As far as exposing the other women, they didn't give him the full disclosure he asked for, re the couples site. Even if they had, I'd want to know if my wife was whoring around.

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by Risq_00101/28/10

Uhmm, well

Well I have to say I didn't expect this as an ending.

It's your choice how to end your stories, but I just wish you had made him more consistent. To me having it end this way totally makes him come off as weak and desperate.

For example, one of the commentators commented about her almost cheating. Cheating isn't defined as a completion of a sex act. Its defined as any sex act between unmarried or between people married, but just not married to each other. An this:

After a few minutes of inner debate I proceeded to take Josh in my mouth and suck him off

...counts as a sex act when her husband's name is Bobby.

There is no "almost" cheating, that is cheating on him.

And I would normally disagree with woodmanone, but when you made him blow up all those other women's marriages for simulated sex, but then decide to spare the women who were actually having sex, that did make him mean spirted and evil. The character as written was willing to blow up others marriages to make himself feel better about keeping his?

And when you had the son tell his mother that he saw her doing live sex chats, but this is what drew the family closer, totally lost me. No normal teen does this that I have ever seen.

You are a good writer, but I'm not sure why your ending are so unbelievable. I'm not trying to pick on you I swear, but you may want to put your stories in romance and not in LW. I offer this suggestion because romance stories don't need to make sense. Readers of them are only wanting to see a happy ending no matter how you get there. But in LW most readers (but I can't say all) want it to make sense if its a happy ending, or at the very least be believable.

For me as you ended the story, the main character came off as heartless, weak, spineless, and cruel. He was willing to destroy random strangers and as long as he ended up happy it didn't matter what he did to them.

That's not a happy ending to be honest. Not when your finished and I hate your main character, or pretty much all characters who have been introduced.

-Risq

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by Anonymous01/28/10

thats it?

really, thats how you're gonna end it? is it just me or did anyone find it suspicious that his former boss hired the wives of the men he fired to be online whores-and lets be real, they're selling their bodies for online entertainment so they are in fact, whores. their was no resolution, just some crappy, last minute ending that basically said-we make our own hell and he didnt want to be in it so he forgave his wife. also, again, is it just me or should he have not only gotten mad because she still went back to howards online job, only this time clothed, but she blew some stranger because she felt bad about not having sex with him? true, in the end you should always do what makes you happy, but fuck forgiveness.

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by lancewm01/28/10

Many unanswered questions - one serious

The boss who hired workers knowing their families were without income. This seems self dealing and illegal. I would have liked to have seen the husband really dig into this one. A big focus should have been here. Otherwise, much more on the wife, what she was doing during her absense from the house, and why she would take back a husband who acted like a narrow minded ass over the whole thing.

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by peteinchicago01/28/10

response to lanceworm

I agree, more information needed regarding where she was and what she was doing. I don't believe your question/comment as to why she would take back a narrow minded husband? Call me narrow minded, but I also would have problems if my wife was a webcam whore behind my back, if she had fucked and sucked off someone other than me (even if she didn't complete the acts), if she had cut me off from sex because she either felt guilty or was satisfied from her webcam exploits. Yes, call me narrow minded, but I would also have had many questions. Many of which had not been answered in this story - where she had been, how she lived, how she paid for her hair removal, her excercise/diet/tanning program. Maybe he didn't go about it like I would have, but he had valid reasons to expect answers, as well as a right to be upset

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by Anonymous01/29/10

What Crap!!!!!!!!!

I have just wasted my time reading this shit!!!!!

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by kelly_kelly01/29/10

All in all a good series

I did say (In chapter 04) that chapter 05 should be last chapter, but I was expecting it to be 2-3 pages. Yes, there are still unanswered questions (mostly what other readers pointed out). I still have a feeling that there'll be more, maybe a chapter from Jocelyn's point of view? I think she's the best person to answer those questions. Overall a good series.

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by Anonymous01/30/10

Hehe

I just found out that is going to be the weekend of unsuspected twists for me sweetie. Must be valentine looming.

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by Anonymous01/31/10

A follow up from the wife's point of view?

I didn't mind the reconcillian. It did happen pretty quickly though. For four chapters, the husband was "chomping at the bit" to divorce her and then she comes home and offers herself to him and within two paragraphs the story ends. I agree that there were several issues left unanswered. The wife would be in the best position to clarify them. Also, the way the characters were written, the husband started out as the betrayed spouse and he was the sympathetic character. But as he continued to tell the story, he tuned into a whiney punk. The story got kind of tiring hearing it from his point of view. All that being said, it kept my interest. Thanks for sharing. Ohio, USA

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by Anonymous02/15/10

there are a couple of not asked questions

where did she learn to fuck like a pro ? also the dancing ? what was her meaning to his not holding his word ? good but you should really make notices of most important points to not forget them in next chapter.

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by Anonymous01/28/11

Did not like it

The main character is a sanctimonious prick. He makes himself person who makes the judgments that are for God. I like her much more. Her motivation was for family. His was pride. Hated him.

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by tazz31712/07/11

CONCEPTS ARE LIKE

ideas and gossip not fulfilling any idea. TK U MLJ LV NV

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by Anonymous12/08/12

rock-hard nails

What the fuck are rock-hard nails ? And what the fuck right does the self important Shit bag have interfering with the lives of all these people ?

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by Anonymous01/17/13

Harold didn't get his!

The villain was not addressed. If not ages in the pen he needs to at the least sing soprano. Harold was scum.

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by Drbeamer333306/12/13

Loved it

I understand reconciliation in this case, especially when you understand why she did the webcam in the first place. I simply think the reconciliation comes too easily and too quickly. He just found out she lied to him and planned on never telling him about the other site and her activity. She knew what she had to do to keep her marriage and decided not to do it completely. The conditions he gave her at first were a bit abstract. She doesn't meet them at all. He takes her back anyway. Confusing. There needed to be more work to get them to the right place. Yes, even after the bj I think this couple should ultimately be back together. After all, he has a unique third party perspective that reveals her authentic reactions during her couples webcam experience. Yes, she fucks up and commits adultery (plain and simple), but he gets to see her genuine reaction to that situation. That merits forgiveness and at least giving it a try. However, the writer needed to put more work in to build the case.

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by Drbeamer333306/12/13

One more thought ...

Having her come a do a seductive dance and fuck routine for him is a little confusing. If she is trying to replace the image, she seems to be going about it all wrong. The dance, the strip, the tease, the touching herself . . . These were all things she did for strangers behind his back. I am actually surprised that she would go this route. Should she be surprised by his reaction? It is to be expected given what got her into trouble in the first place. In my opinion, when you fuck up, stay as far away as possible from anything that would closely resemble or bring to mind your mistake.

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by Drbeamer333306/12/13

Last one, I promise!

Here is what I mean by doing more work . . .

Take her use of the word sweetie. This obviously has an impact on him and understandably so. I was expecting you to have a light go on in her head. Up to this point I am not sure she even realized she had been using the word on her cam show or that he had even picked up on it as being significant. But at this moment she now realizes what hurts him the most. In the first chapter you set this up as significant in his mind. In this chapter it causes serious emotions and interferes with his ability to finish off. All that work, and then he just drops this and it no longer is significant. Ok. I get it. Who has the time to draw this out further to bring him to the point of dealing with this blow? Even if you were trying to be brief, you could have approached this differently. At her realization that this word has played some significance in his mind, she could have offered an explanation that would have been brief, dealt decisively with the problem, and moved him to a better place where reconciliation was more amenable. I expected her to say something like - "sweetie, all those times I was using that endearment, I was picturing you. I couldn't see these customers and I had you in mind each time." I can buy something like that. It sounds reasonable.

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by chilleywilley06/26/13

Glad they reconciled

Winning the lottery was a non sequitur, it was enough he got a job. I think he should have had to make some changes too, rather than sit on his fat ass and dictate what she must do. He apparently had unhealthy habits, so lose 30 pounds, see another doctor. You had him doing that, but it would have been better to be part of the reconciliation, IMO.
Also, I still think some pissed off husbands should have beat him up for blackmailing their wives (that's what it was) and interfering with their lives.

SO all in all, more balance between husband and wife wouldhave made for a better story, 'tho god knows what it would do to the score.

Chilley.

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by rightbank08/31/14

even the kids are messed up

and no,
"What happened to Harold Carpenter and his wicked adult webcam sites? I don't really know"
is not a satisfactory way to end this mess.

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by tazz31708/31/14

SO MANY QUESTIONS

not enough answers for all. TK U MLJ LV NV

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by Drbeamer333304/09/16

Second time through...

This brings up a significant issue that seems to be glossed over in the last chapter: her kids could see these videos, people they knew could see them, etc. and this is a bad thing, right?

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by Anonymous09/10/16

ouch

People actually record those type things, then post them to zillions of adult web sites.

So every single episode could have thousands of copies all over the net and in many peoples download collections where they will stay forever.

So her kids, family members, friends, everyone at any time forever has the potential to see them.

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by silentsound11/21/16

Rated this chapter lower

Harold needed dealt with and the cuckolded husbands needed informed.

Also, she did physically cheat. That is a game changer that wasn't dealt with.

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by GeorgeAnderson03/08/17

Ummmm...

Shouldn't he be curious about where and how she learned all that stuff she never did with him before?

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