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Nice one
Great start. Wonder where it's going?
Great Story So Far
I always look forward to your stories, I just hope John doesn't wimp out and take the slut back. I think Amy is enough of a low life to lie to Cindy to protect her lover. Hopefully John will be able to find happiness with a women who's a little more faithful and honest.
???
I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO RATE A STORY THAT IS NOT FINISHED. I SEE MORE AND MORE OF THESE KIND OF STORIES.
Great Start!!
The Characters are all in place and the plot underway with major emotional conflicts. I look forward to the next two installments.
DG Hear
There are a few twists and turns here. Please give it a chance. All three chapters have been submitted. Thank you for reading this story and taking the time to comment. It really is much appreciated.
DG
Great First Chapter
Wow, poor John really stood in front of the fan. Lord knows why he went back to the motel restaurant at the time... Nice set up and looking forward to the remaining chapters!
So far so good: comment about something wife did
so far this seems pretty good. DG says wait so I will wait. One thing that is revealing is the Wife's action when her husband was drunk then arrested. She w as HIDING out in the hotel room and watching thru the curtains.
how awful. By that I mean the wife 's actions caused ALL of this to happen
but when he gets drunk and is being arrested... for her to HIDE out and not come to his defense in front of the Hotel and officers... that is a serious issue.
Beth's silence.
Beth's silence is mystifying. Women look out for one another. There is no way Beth would not have told Amy about John being at the hotel.
well
as her marriage seems to be up shit creek..might as well tell cindy that yes her sorry assed husband fucked her while she was drunk ...or just plain stupid....that way mark can then deaL WITH THE SAME SHIT SHE IS NOW DEALING WITH..PLUS THEN MAYBE CINDY CAN FUCK JOHN AND AT LEAST GIVE HIM SOME REVENGE....then maybe thyey can both beat the shit out of him and toss his sorry ass out also ...then maybe mark n amy can live together so she has someone to help her raise her kid ...let mark n amy also have his kids ...then john can find a nice girl to have his kids with...if i was amy id just abort the kid till i found out if i had a husband or just an asshole to live withdamn did she fuck up...and no way would i as john ever go back to her till i had some revenge...lose his job shit ....now hell have to find something else that he probably wont be happy with and wont make him as happy...maybe he can become an esscort and fuck women for money ....you know be a gigolo ...make money as arm candy for old wealthy women looking for nice men to show off for functions...now that might be a nice job that he could enjoy...and wouldnt that be fitting revenge for amy knowing she cost him his job so he had to get that type job..oh well if they did get back together what could she say but how was your night of work dear
The Plot Thickens
Love your stories, will be waiting for the rest, Thanks.
well written as always
What a dumb cunt. Her hiding out while her husband is being arrested is just making things worse. Hopefully she'll have the balls to tell the truth to Mark's wife. Otherwise she'll be percieved as standing up for Mark over her husband. Which would be the case. So her actions precipitated her husband's arrest and job loss, the probable end of her marriage and the end of her lover's marriage. Not to mention the financial burden of her husband not being able to work, legal costs and plane ticket to Iowa. All while she's pregnant. What a dumb cunt. Looks like her husband had reason to be concerned about her relationship with Mark. Not something I'd forgive.
DUH
Good, but she is a bull shit skank whore--she was thinking with her pussy not her brain--say good bye whore--hubby will be in jail or fuch the shit out of mark`s wife
Can You Say Train Wreck?
Can You Say Train Wreck? Saw it coming early and you set it up so well. Thats why I do not drink very much, and have problems with those that drink to much. But that is personal but it is a great primer and lube for train wrecks.
Your a great author and the first installment just baits us readers to stand by for parts 2 and 3. But Mark is a dead man as far as I can see. As for the other players? Only time and the author knows.
Standing by.
pathetic
i dont see how they can work it out but knowing you, they'll get together even if they wait a few yrs because thats just the type of pussy you are. not only did you state how much john didnt want to go the the stupid reunion, but you stated how horny wifey got after a few beers. i also forsee that you are gonna have her use the baby as emotional blackmail to get him back. i feel i should say not all marriages/relationships can or should be fixed. let john move on and hopefully find a partner that wouldnt cheat because lets be real here, if you loved someone, you wouldnt cheat. you can say all the man hating, stupid shit you people love to say, but in the end, im right.
DG Hear, using the new comment section.
Don't pre-judge what an author might or might not write. As I have said, give the writer the benefit of the doubt until you have read the full story. With that said you need to ride the rollercoaster of life.
Hope you all enjoy the story, even if you don't agree with John's decision, which only me and my editor knows. LOL
It is all submitted and you will have all the answers in the next couple of days. For anyone who has read my stories, this one could go any number of ways even though I do like happy endings. Of course this story is under 'Loving Wives' not 'Romance'
Happy reading, and thanks for the comments.
DG
well DG
I always like reading your stories as you are able to really build up a story. The only thing I don't like to much you have the same problem as newspapers have. Only bad things or drama sells the paper, right. So to have a drama you really always need 1 or 2 characters that still have the mind of a 5 year old in an adult body. otherwise those incidents never could happen at all. I also don't like this new voting or comment system. you can still read the comments but you have no idea if somebody liked the story or not. eventhough somebody might think I did not like it to much I gave you 75 for the start. hope you authors could influence literotica to change that.
0/100
.
She's a lying slut
She lied about not sleeping with Mark previously. Why do that? What would it matter? She is untrustworthy and one of these oh-so-clever people that think they can get away with anything. This lays the foundation for his distrust of her and weakens their marriage.
Then she jumps in bed with a troublemaker who her husband detests. Legs pop open, Instant slut. Just add alcohol. And again the attitude of I can get away with whatever I want. Hubby is a nice guy but gullible, right?
I guess at this point, IMO, the story tells itself. She isn't a very likable character. She deserves no redemption. It's too bad she has destroyed her husband as well. He's lost his job and will probably get arrested for going after Mark. Mark deserves whatever he gets but the "nice" husband is paying the price for these two worthless people. And of course the child messes things up even more.
I like DG Hear's storytelling. It's a fun read, if a bit predictable. I guess with these stories I am looking for some interesting new twist that manages to stay with the storyline and is also believable. To some extent I'm not sure that is possible here. We already know the characters too well.
Waiting for part 2 to be surprised.
A great start to an interesting story
Yes, this story can move in many directions, especially with this author. Looking forward to the rest!!
pretty good
Great so far! Hope part 2 is posted soon!!
let the slut pay
He will not want to have a child with this slut now or ever. She is a piece of shit, she needs to be really hurt for her transgressions. I'd gut her alive
Agree
totally agree with the other comments, let the cheating wife pay and have John divorce her leaving her to regret her doings
Nah!
This is going to a rehabilitation story. A one time slip, lots of recrimination, "I am sorry; it did not mean anything; I was drunk and did not realize; and oh, by the way, I am two months pregnant and it is yours!" Husband, after weeks, if not months of depression, beating up Mark, maybe sleeping with his wife - though that would be disappointing but allow for the rehabilitation - he finally sees the light, forgives her, and they happily ever after ignoring she lied, acted in anger, failed to listen to him, and basically showed so much disrespect that the reason for two chapters, we get two days to simmer down as readers, and become more tolerant of the outcome. The writer is great writer and is playing with the loving wife theme, but can he come up with an original ending for a plot that has been repeated numerous time before on this site. I am looking forward to see what he does. Regardless, his fluid writing style, characterization, and simple plotting still make for a good, familiar read.
It is easy to set up a conflict.
How is it resoved is the measure of the story. I do not care for short chapters/ This could have been two or even one chapter, except for your desire for a cliffhanger
John is a dumb A**
John deserves everything he is getting in this story. Any man who plays this kind of stupid game with his Wife, knowing what the history is between she and her old boy friend is asking for trouble. I have no sympathy for either of them and could care less what happens.
The author has a penchant for writing these tough guy stories where he always finds himself with a cheating wife, usually because he has a lot to do with what happens. Frankly, I don't know why I ever read them.
This is what happens when children get married....
....actually I'd love to watch a show where treasure hunters try to find the elusive couples that have only slept with their spouses (or maybe 1 or 2 others) and have stayed faithful despite getting married as children(defined as under 25).Good story, the new forum sucks, much like the "new" playboy,the cyber generation will take the last bit of fun out of life.
Same oh song!!
I have read at least 50 stories on this site with the same theme. Please somebody come up with some new ideas for some different story lines. This story might have an old story line It is still a good read so far. "THANK YOU"
AWESOME
this story is the BEST story in its genre that i have ever read
but do u know what cliffhangers do to the reader???
u got any idea what YOU do the reader
Great Story Line
Love the confrontation of the Spouses. Her hiding in the shower him coming back to do in Mark. Now the S*** hits the fan when John meets Mark. on his own Territory and messes his Life up. The Losers are Cindy,Mark and to some extent Amy although she brought it on herself.
It would take me all of 30 secs
to just cut her throat and leave her corpse on the hotel floor. Why do you authors write about disgustign selfish immature and mentally unstable people, then EXPECT the readers to CARE about them??? What the fuck is wrong with you??? This site is a group of pathetic, sad, losers who have no sex life, no ability to relate to other humans, and no sense of appropriate behavoir... what a great way for the the Internet monitors to gather together a nice list of all the fucked-up assholes. Hats off to you sad fucks.
Very stilted dialogue, very bad woman's first person point of view
Can't stand this man pretending to write in the voice of a woman, it plain doesn't work. The phrasing is just very stilted, and it's not just because it's a man speaking as a woman but also because it's a person whose native language is not English. I could not even finish reading the first page, it is that bad.
It is okay so I gave it 3***s
John is an violent jerk and hopefully will go to prison where he belongs. Amy need to divoce his sorry ass and get an abortion.
THE NEW TIRES BEGIN TO SHOW WEAR
and be careful not to tear them, TK U MLJ LV NV
This Story Flows with Emotion
My only criticism is the very small motivation the wife had to cheat. It took so little to get her in the sack, is this really a marriage worth saving?
this is where you say
give me a DNA if is is mine i pay and want visitation 3 hours a day every day but i never want to see you again and if you dont agree i will never see the kid and if it grows up and finds me i am going to show him the draft visitation you refused. now go find someone else to fuck cause your pussy is too used for me.
Stupid bitch. Mad at her husband (who had a legitimate reason for being late)
Then getting drunk and fucking her old boyfriend. Causing her husband to get into a little wreck and losing his job. It would only be right that she never get back with John but I just know that DG will give us a happy (if strained) ending. I hope that Mark's wife cleans him out, too.
Great Start
Fucking cunt. He had a legitimate reason for being late to the reunion. But no, she just had to go and fuck her old boyfriend. I hope he dumps the bitch and beats her lover to a bloody pulp. I guess we'll see...
Loving it
Great buildup. Five stars.
TELL ME A STORY
and then its off to bed. TK U MLJ LV NV
Oh crap
There are more chapters!
We all know what that means.
Reconciliation at any cost.
Pussy boy will forgive all.
Crap.
Mad At Him?
Why is she mad at John for getting a flat tire? Dud she think he did it on purpose?
And when she was dancing with Mark, did it EVER occur to her to NOT talk about their "good" times, which couldn't have been THAT good or she would have chosen him!
Wow
Not sure if I read this before, but if I did, I look at stories different now than I looked at them before.
Usually, when there are flashback scenes, I don't particularly like them. They are rather clumsily handled. In this, your scenes made sense, exposing a bit more context to the story in properly sized chunks.
And you ended on a tense dramatic high note. Perhaps some might see it cheap, but it worked very well for me. You dialed the tension up, bruised our 'hero' and put a miserable moral quandary or five on the wife.
This is what writing should be like. At least for me. I don't know if you will 'stick' the landing, but this was a good beginning.
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