Schoolgirl

The tense of your story is a distraction.

Writing in the present tense is one thing. Writing it in the first person, in the present tense, while not providing even so much as a name, is a distraction. It's like listening to someone make shit up as they go along.

Writing in third person

is always a risk. A skillful author can pull it off but you need more practice with your overall writing skills to achieve this goal.

Other than that detail, the premise of this story has been published at Literotica 100's of times. Try to discover a different approach to the story, write in the first person and get an editor to assist you.

Umm...ok?

To the first commenter...This story is in first person, not third person. Not sure where you got that from...

For the second commenter...Keeping it nameless was intended. This is supposed to be looked upon as a generalized storyline that many people have thought of and seen.

To you both...I appreciate the commentary. However, something a little more useful would be much more appreciated.

This needs work and it was average