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Carry That Weight

byHarddaysknight©
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Comments (295)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous02/16/10

Gag, sorry but this is really bad

Oh the inhuman pain Tom inflicted! Is this the bottom of the plot barrel for LW stories? This is really awful. Tom catches the couple naked. Kill 'em? Kill himself? Nope, run away. But Tom becomes the accidental hero and is almost killed. The consequences: GUILT TRIP. He says to Jeff, who set the dirty deed up, "Gee. if you hadn't fuck my wife, I'd never been able to save your family." Wife says I'm really, really sorry through Crocodile tears. "I've only been fucked 1 time (well 1 time by the Red Chinese Army). Now you're saying you're forgiving me just to make me feel guilty. Well, I come from a long line of rich, phony snobs and this is the role I was born to play (until i get bored with you again Tiny Weiner)."
By the way this is all based on a faulty assumption: "that hurting or disappointing those I love was more painful in the long run than an old fashion ass whipping." The author is falsely assuming that Jeff and Ashley, people who planned to betray Tom, have consciences or even like him.

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by Salamis02/16/10

Superb moral at the end

This was a very enjoyable story with a moral too rarely seen in these genre. The greatest pain is that which you inflict upon yourself, but it takes a wise man to unleash it. The two cheaters were not totally bad people, and because of that, this unusual punishment is evermore effective.

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by Minigales02/16/10

Something Missing

For this revenge to work, we need some background on the personalities of the two villains to make sure that it is effective for them. If they don't respect you, they do not give a shit how you feel about them. The other part is that their shame should be publicized to a limited degree, e.g. the other wife has the right to know. It is not your right to leave her in the dark.
Another little thing is that Jeff can't be considered a hero because his despicable behavior saved his family.
Finally, a little more was needed to show how things progressed for the next few months after he left the hospital.
Thanks for writing.

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by Zeb4002/16/10

Very thought provoking.

The revenge was even worse than a physical one. We both know he wasn't sincere when he told them to continue there affair discretely. That was much more powerful than asking why and hearing her feeble protestations. His marriage may be essentially over, but he kept his pride and made the adulterers feel like shit, and he has them worrying about when, if ever, he'll spill the beans.
I, too, wonder if this was the first time. It seemed too set up to be an accidental coupling, but it could have been planned and still be the first time. No matter how drunk Tom gets when he overdoes it, a serial cheating wife would be smart enough to leave her lover's bed and return to her husband's just in case. Who knows when he might awaken.
Can Ashley regain his trust and love? Can Tom eventually forgive and trust again? Will their marriage survive this? Just as in my favorite HDK story, "Eleanor Rigby", I believe we need a second chapter to resolve these issues. I know, we can provide our own resolution, but give us a break. I'll do anything to read more from you.
Loved the Beatles title, and it is appropriate. The weight of guilt and shame weighs quite heavily on a person. In my case, my least favorite time of day is when I shave. I can fool myself into believing I'm still the strong, sort of handsome fellow I was in my thirties, but then who is that old man looking back at me from the mirror? Such will be Jeff and Ashley's punishment. Unless they are completely evil, which I doubt, they too will have to look at this every day. As I said in my intro, a very thought provoking and excellent story. Thanks, HDK. Paul

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by Anonymous02/16/10

The Problem

Is beliving this was the first and only time she sliped up. Doesn't sound like much of a marriage or life and why put yourself through hell cause someone else fucked up, he needs love and sex himself. Well written, as always, thanks.

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Finally......

There are no words for how perfect this is. I almost don't want to read any more stories. This is the ultimate revenge.

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by Anonymous02/16/10

Come Back of a Motherfucker

You still alive? I thought one motherfucker expired due to septicaemia in his asshole. Afterall it has been used sooooo much by so many people.

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by energystar02/16/10

what Salamis said.

Fine story - by making the revenge so simple, ultimately it was the best. The only question is if that guilt is used for good or bad. Your guilt can make you a better person, or you can be crushed by it and become resentful. No doubt that they deserved that cross. Now it up to them to bear (is that right) it. Thanks again to the author.

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by Anonymous02/16/10

Perfect! Please tell us the rest of the story!

How did it happen? How long had Jeff and Ashley been carrying on? How long would it be before Jeff or Ashley cracks and confesses their sins? Tom then can move on to the younger and cuter cousin.

Another example of why HDK is the best!

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by zed002/16/10

Oh So Civilized and Genteel!

Wimps, like heroes, are made not born! Saving a child and accepting a cheating spouse have nothing to do with each other. It is so like a women (or in this case a non-man) scorned, to just lay a big guilt trip on the cheating spouse. Admittedly murdering Jeff would definitely be a bit of overkill, delivering a lesson in "don't fuck my wife" etiquette using the gun stock is perfectly acceptable. Letting Amber know about her cheating husband, and getting a revenge fuck (or at least a knob job) would go a long way towards getting his man card back. I would like to believe his motivations have more to do with her money and I would hope he plans on getting himself a girlfriend in the near future.

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by SleeplessinMD202/17/10

I Still Do Not Get the Revenge Angle...

even if it was their first time cheating? We live in an age when Presidents, sport/entertainment icons and just regular people manage their "shame." They go off to rehab clinics, anger management sessions and other retreats for a time and then come back new and unshamed. Based upon your story, within six months Ashley would have done her pennace for her " strayed only the one time, with Jeff" and she will be tired of Tom making her feel like shit. So they will either reconcil or things will get worse for Tom. Note I did not say bad for Ashley since the time for Tom to act on her mistake would have passed. He will be the bad guy because he will not let it go even if the one night cheating comes out later. What the World will see is that Tom accepted her mistake. Tom saying "I made them feel shame" will not be understood six months later. Tom's family and friends will only see a man who is being spitefull and mean to his wife. That is why I called Tom a wimp. A wimp is someone who betrays his or her core values for expediency. Tom had felt so strongly about their cheating that he had went to violence. Violence is while being human is just stupid - he had kids who needed him. By the way, I see no impact on Jeff from Tom's shame revenge.
Anyway, let see a sequel so we can see how this will play out.

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by PArebel02/17/10

Loved it!

First, in general your work is top shelf!

Second, and in specific to this story, the response is perfect. No one (except perhaps someone whose head is residing in a body cavity in which it does not belong) can call the protagonist a wimp. Tom's response is perfect. Until now Jeff had the high ground, he had saved Tom's life. Now not only has this high groung been taken, but Jeff has been driven into a swamp.

As to the wife, Ashley, she will live forever knowing that the entire family believes her husband, the man she has betrayed, is the bravest of the brave, the best of the best, the ideal man. All of this while knowing that he has no reason to trust her. Wearing a condom when they have sex would be a tremendous put down of her. It would say, "I'm keeping you for appearances sake, but I don't trust you", every time they had sex.

In some ways, it would be interesting to see a follow-up, say two -years down the road to see where they are. On the other hand, maybe it is better for all of us to conjure up our own image of where they are at that point.

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by trojan567802/17/10

Great story!

As with all your works, excellent story. I hope you continue it, for better or worse (hopefully better, but she has a LOOONG way to go if she ever earns redemption)

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by Anonymous02/17/10

JUST as EXPECTED!

Another great story from one of the best!

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by Anonymous02/17/10

I Liked This

HDK it is a good story but it does need a second part. How you have left it is not clear and it should have a follow up.

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by Anonymous02/18/10

Wonderful!!

But you should have written this for the "Humor & Satire" section, and then not posted it.

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by Anonymous02/20/10

that was different

Heh! Love it!

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by Anonymous02/22/10

Whatever

When you cheat, trust is gone, without trust there is no marriage. She cheated, kick her to the curb and try again.

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by mike271002/24/10

Excellent

excellent story all though how long she will keep up with that pressure on her is the next question, soon one of them will crack. Thanks for the entertainment. Mike from Texas

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by morris5302/27/10

Great Head Job!

This is a wonderful story. It should give others food for thought as to encourage better thinking for their revenge stories that the Neanderthal mental format that is so prevalent in many of these stories. Loved it.

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by Anonymous03/03/10

Excellent Story.

Excellent story. It certainly gives one food for thought. Keep up the good writing.

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by Minigales03/05/10

Sequel?

I think I have commented before.
My comment here is to wonder if it is possible to publish POL's sequel to this story on this site although he has no presence here. It is worth being appended to the story.
Thanks.

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by Anonymous03/07/10

Great Story

Needs part 2

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by Anonymous03/07/10

Excellent!

LOL! Like this. different and the characters seems to have a heart.

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by Anonymous03/16/10

Soulless

I felt it was kind of soulless, like with the dialogue and everything the characters were just doing everything by rote or something.

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by Anonymous03/25/10

I agree souless

It was very exciting up to the ending. Then the passionless way he dealt with wife and her lover was just too cold and tactical, aside from that, it's not even a very good revenge. As far as the people who are asking for a part two, I don't understand it. Him acting like a living martyr, continuing his marriage with her, lying to everyone they know including their children, in what will now be a loveless marriage. That doesn't sound like a good read to me.

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by Anonymous03/25/10

The Best Revenge Is Living Well

Not big on wasting my life making people feel guilty, if he can't get over it and enjoy life with her, move on and enjoy it with someone else, as we all find out, life is to fucking short to waste it. Well written and really enjoyed it, just not the way I would handle it. Thanks.

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by Anonymous04/19/10

modified ending

after saying be discreet...'ashely, you seriously nevergave to worry about my feeling or what you think are my feelings, again. i'm going in without you and the children, the property, money and so on will be worked out. Be it jeff, or anyone else, i won't be a reason for you not to. NOW, please go...'

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by Anonymous05/11/10

great story

and I loved the ending!
She demonstrated contempt for him by screwing Jeff a few feet away from where he lay sleeping. A few words explaining where that lack of respect came from would have improved the tale. A woman doesn't do this kind of thing to the man she loves.

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by Anonymous05/30/10

ONCE A WIMP ALWAYS A WIMP

I THINK THEY SHOULD CHANGE THIS SITE NAME TO "WIMP INK". I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH YOU LOVE A WOMAN, IF SHE IS SCREWING AROUND ON YOU SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU. I DON'T CARE IF IT IS ONCE OR A THOUSAND TIMES.

BY THE WAY THE WAY YOU WRITE, HOW OFTEN DO YOU CHANGE YOUR KOTEX?

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by MasterCatharsis06/05/10

Anonymous posters

I see the anonymous wimp Nazis are still here, trying make sure the rest of the male persuasion are just as machismo and immature as they are. You know, I truly believe these guys secretly watch soap operas and are part of that group of mostly women who actually believe the characters on those soap operas are real people. I guess they also could be a bunch of teenagers or adult losers who've never been married and think that being married is the same as going steady and all you have to do is break up.

To the author: Keep on writing entertaining stories and don't let these cowardly jerks who won't even sign their name get you down.

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by Anonymous07/07/10

This ranks as an excellent story

In this category one always hears, 'that is so trite', 'same old, same old'.
This story has passion and originality.

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by Mandy0107/09/10

Wonderful

I do enjoy a good mind fuck!!!! lol

Keep up the good work, HDK

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by norcal6207/28/10

Stilted, stiff language doesn't follow the story well.

You have a high action scene and say the man appears ready to strike! the woman? Then the mother exited! the van? Poor, poor choice of words to describe action. Kills the emotion of the scene.
Did enjoy the mind game at the end, but could have been expanded a little to show real anger over betrayal. Pretty hard to accept Jeffo working to get hubby drunk; even more to accept hubby being such a doofus over drinking beer at all.

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by Anonymous07/29/10

Wilt couldn't shoot free throws worth a damn

So I guess you can be allowed the occassional stinker

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by Anonymous08/09/10

he deserves a reward for his heroism...

how about a nice creampie?

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by deadone09/01/10

good story

This is the HDK I like and look forward to reading. Yes it is not as free flowing as others but in away it works for this one. It kind of like a black and white detective movie shot at odd angles. The more I think about it the more I like it, not for all of the stories just this one.

I love the HDK twists and turns and side comments. I hope he leaves the linear stories to others and keep us guessing.

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by oldwayne09/02/10

Sandy Koufax was the gretest left-hander who ever lived, but...

EVEN HE COULDN'T PITCH A NO-HITTER EVERY TIME.

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by amazon4511/11/10

followup

I was wondering if you were going to add to this story.It leaves some things to be said i think the strain of living with guilt like that would be too much for anyone to bear and i was just looking for your thoughts on this.Thank you for all your stories.please keep up the good work.

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by Anonymous11/13/10

good but ....

..Amber should have been told. Cheaters must suffer pain and humiliation before reconciliation.

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by deadsoon12/10/10

Great head job! Just loved it ... Tom got them with both barrels!

This is one of your best ... fast pace, plenty of emotion, action and a very clever husband (Tom). Shit, I wish I could think as fast on my feet, sorry I mean on my back, as Tom in this story.

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by BigJohn60112/30/10

One of the very best stories I have ever read on Literotica!!!

Even after several reads I still enjoy this story. Thanks!!!!

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by Anonymous02/10/11

slight modification in end

Tell her she may do jeff or anyone else, and not worry about him. The reason, they are over it no longer was a concern for him. No need for pretenses or facades. They don't stay together and he is actually happy thereafter. For her, so it goes.

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by CyberSearcher02/17/11

Questions

Talk about a lost of trust. How does he know his two children are his? I am suspicious of Ashley stating it was hers and Jeff's first time. Seems like he planned it, as Tom states by giving him beers knowing he is fly weight. And there must have some attraction between Ashley and Jeff before this family reunion. Afterall, what was so important or compelling, that she had to stay up after her husband went to bed? She should have retired with him. I mean, Jeff was able to seduce her pretty quick or was it Ashley who seduced him?

Great story!

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by Anonymous02/25/11

I usually laugh at the "torch the bitch" nit wits....

but in this case, I think she should have been toast. Just my opinion.

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by Tavadelphin03/28/11

Nice touch

No clue what he actually does or does not believe or what he will or will not do - awesome -

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by Anonymous04/03/11

They fucked at the family retreat

with a bunch of people there, then fell asleep afterward - no way was this the first time. The plan to get him drunk went awry and they got busted, now they have to live with the consequences (if that is what you can call them).
Deluded sister in law is kept in the dark while the adulterers are punished by a guilt trip (pretty weak, but whatever). Would be fairly easy to find out if sis in law is the kind of person who would want to know if her spouse was a cheater and if so - tell her.

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by Anonymous05/08/11

they should post this

They should post this story as it is by far the worst and dumbest story i have ever read, retarded is all i can say about this so called author.

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by Anonymous06/06/11

Thanks.

Great story with a great revenge twist at the end. Years of guilt for the two perps.

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by Anonymous06/09/11

To say this story ...

... was not one of your best would be like saying the Hindenburg had a "small" leak! This story proves that even the best writers on Literotica can still post some really bad tales! Sorry Harddaysknight but this "post" just sucked!! Maybe next time .. huh?

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