You do need a good editor, but that's all you need. I gave you five stars despite the errors because the story itself was very nice, and also because I see how good your writing could be with proper editing.
by
Anonymous02/18/10
The Last Line Says it all
She was looking at him ** threw ** brand new eyes.
The rest of this pile is just as badly-written.
This site has 'editors - for - rent '
Please make your life better by using them.
Kilroy
by
Anonymous02/18/10
you need an editor
The story ok, but you need an editor - "pasted"? Once you have that I think that the story will be even better. Good luck.
by
Anonymous02/18/10
:/
Good, but soooooooo many typos.
by
Anonymous02/18/10
Great
More Please
by
Anonymous02/18/10
Almost
Grunabona was right. Your next story can be great (or grate if you don't proofread instead of relying on a spell checker) with some editing. For example: did Nate grab her "be the hair ...?" But I also think you need to take a little more time to transistion from Nate and Kayla being just friends for a dozen years with no sex to suddenly both deciding to do it. No need to rush your story to get to the "good parts" as the set up really helps it.
by
Anonymous02/18/10
Readers on this board!!!
Readers on this board crack me up!! You guys arent paying for these story's so why do you care if the authors have a editor or if the spelling is correct. Stop complaining!! If you were being charged to read then I could see all the negative comments. Sheesh!! Give these authors a break!!! Nice story. I am smart enough to read past the typos and understand what you are saying.
I'm used to Typo's. Having been in online Chat for year's.
You get used to people's Typo's so I agree an Editor will
help you to make your Storie's better for everyone who read's You.
by
Anonymous02/18/10
Good stuff but I agree
The typos were a bit of a problem, and you could take this story so much further if you don't rush it; perhaps this IS all a dream, and Kayla walks in on him when he thinks he's sleeping with her so things get a bit complicated from there or something!
Keep it up though, I like the storyline so far!
by
Anonymous02/19/10
C_frommn knows what errors are
"I like your writing. I'm used to Typo's ."
I'll agree with that. C-Fromm has peppered his posting with his own typos.
"people's Typo's " Apostrophes are for possession, not plurality (save for a few capitalised or numeric examples)
"Storie's " defies explanation.
"who read's You" also defies explanation.
Cheers.
Kilroy
I enjoyed both of your stories, especially since I can relate :-), but considering I was an English teacher's assistant, the grammar and spelling kind of got to me. Please write more stories, but correct them b4 you submit them, sis.
English
I like it a lot, so *****
You do need a good editor, but that's all you need. I gave you five stars despite the errors because the story itself was very nice, and also because I see how good your writing could be with proper editing.
The Last Line Says it all
She was looking at him ** threw ** brand new eyes.
The rest of this pile is just as badly-written.
This site has 'editors - for - rent '
Please make your life better by using them.
Kilroy
you need an editor
The story ok, but you need an editor - "pasted"? Once you have that I think that the story will be even better. Good luck.
:/
Good, but soooooooo many typos.
Great
More Please
Almost
Grunabona was right. Your next story can be great (or grate if you don't proofread instead of relying on a spell checker) with some editing. For example: did Nate grab her "be the hair ...?" But I also think you need to take a little more time to transistion from Nate and Kayla being just friends for a dozen years with no sex to suddenly both deciding to do it. No need to rush your story to get to the "good parts" as the set up really helps it.
Readers on this board!!!
Readers on this board crack me up!! You guys arent paying for these story's so why do you care if the authors have a editor or if the spelling is correct. Stop complaining!! If you were being charged to read then I could see all the negative comments. Sheesh!! Give these authors a break!!! Nice story. I am smart enough to read past the typos and understand what you are saying.
I Like Your Writing
I'm used to Typo's. Having been in online Chat for year's.
You get used to people's Typo's so I agree an Editor will
help you to make your Storie's better for everyone who read's You.
Good stuff but I agree
The typos were a bit of a problem, and you could take this story so much further if you don't rush it; perhaps this IS all a dream, and Kayla walks in on him when he thinks he's sleeping with her so things get a bit complicated from there or something!
Keep it up though, I like the storyline so far!
C_frommn knows what errors are
"I like your writing. I'm used to Typo's ."
I'll agree with that. C-Fromm has peppered his posting with his own typos.
"people's Typo's " Apostrophes are for possession, not plurality (save for a few capitalised or numeric examples)
"Storie's " defies explanation.
"who read's You" also defies explanation.
Cheers.
Kilroy
That's the point
I think that is what C_Fromm was getting and intentionally put the mistakes for a bit of a laugh.
curses!
Wish their was more...
Loved them, but.....
I enjoyed both of your stories, especially since I can relate :-), but considering I was an English teacher's assistant, the grammar and spelling kind of got to me. Please write more stories, but correct them b4 you submit them, sis.
Hott, But
This was pretty good,minus the grammar and the editing that's needed. Keep writing :>)
Wheres
The Finish?
Good start but it leaves you hanging with No Finish.
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