You Could've Heard a Pin Drop Ch. 02

Gentle Romance Here

As always, Woodie wrote a very enjoyable tale. The first chapter was more provocative and exciting. Thanks.

Truly a loving wife for a change . . .

Needs a bit of editing but I really enjoyed this part 2, actually enjoyed both parts. Hard to believe a pretty chick like Jackie did not move on after 3 years, but obviously we needed that little crisis and plot device for some last minute drama in the pub before our hero proposed to Juanita. Thanks for writing.

change best

This is a love story and awith a ending I enjoyed! Keep it U P.

Errors in my story

I normally don't comment about my own stories but I feel the need on this one. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation that I found, actually my wife found, after the story had been posted.

There are several words that needed eds added, there were at least three places that a comma should have been used.

The pub was to serve lunch from 11 AM until 10 PM and close at 2 AM (not 2 pm) and as usual there were some misspelled words. Champagne for one.

I should have waited a few days to post the story and done a final read through and had my wife read the story before I posted.

I usually end a story and leave it to live its own life. " Life goes on" for the characters and the story and the characters become a part of my writing history. This story came to me out of no where as I began to think about Jake and his life after Jackie and this is what jumped out of my head. I couldn't wait to write and post this chapter and didn't edit the story as well as I should have.

This isn't an excuse but an explanation. My mistake was not one of laziness or not wanting to do the work but one of being overly excited by my story.

I hope these mistakes don't keep you from enjoying the story and thanks for reading my work.

woodmanone

grammer don't bother me none!

I enjoyed the story and appreciate the posting. It was plenty clear enough to understand. Besides, it was told first person from a construction guy... so you kinda' expect a few grammar slips. They actually authenticate the feel of the story (don't take that the wrong way, I'm not say'n... I'm just say'n).

I'm as much of a perfectionist as anybody, but people who come to a free site and nit pick about inconsequential errors of grammar drive me nuts. If it bothers them that much, tell them you'll give them their money back! Sheesh!

Good follow-on story

I liked both parts. The only omission was Jackie's mindset, but I guess she cheated herself out of their relationship, so no matter.
I love a happy ending without it being too schmaltzy and this one fit the bill just nicely.
Thank you,
Norman D

awesome

It was a great story and well written. Thanks for sharing.

Great change in Jakes character

Cogratulations, your typical fine writing and, in addition, you have improved Jakes chaacter from alchoholic thug to likeable human being . Nice job.
the Ct. Yankee

One was good, Two is better

The original story was good but not exceptional, with part two you've rounded it out and extended it into one of your best.

nice one

I do like happy endings

I didn't encounter anything that caused me to slow or stop reading because the writing held my attention

And yes, I agree with the others, this chapter is a little better than the first. I know the feeling of having an idea and wanting to get it out immediately. Been there, done that without too many regrets. You needn't have any either.

Great story

Jake is a great character. He is in love with Jackie and trusting but not baffled by her BS. He sees the crap she is pulling and simply removes her from his life. He very nicely wraps up ALL her actions as cheating, the lying, the kissing, the sexy dancing. In an affair the actual sex is often the smallest part of the cheating that goes on and Jake called it right on the money. And he stick to his beliefs. This second part was just a recovery from the fiasco with Jackie and shows how people can move on. Most people do exactly that, move on. The snake briefly shows up to tempt him but he clearly and quickly dispatches her. Jackie is still clueless. Why would she think he still loves her after what she did to him? She thinks she is going to treat him like a lost puppy and take him in. She's pretty sad. But he brushes her off and goes on with his good life. Not a lot of fireworks, just a good solid tale for this second part.

Damn fine writing! IMHO...

I love stories with a good ending; yours was no exception. Even though the story line was fairly predictable, you brought me to the ending as smoothly and as entertaining as the best! Look forward to your next work...

Finest Kind woodmanone

Chapter 1 was very well done. Jake gave Jackie every benefit of doubt until he was forced to face her behavior. That is not acting the wimp, it is called love! Once he knew he could not trust her he moved on despite the pain. Chapter 2 was even better. You did a very good job defining the characters and created a very believable story line. Throughout Jake acted with integrity and stayed true to his core values.

this was a good ending and you

should really leave it at that. you can only fuck up in a part 3. great story thanks

Good Read:

Good story in the tradition as great story tellers such as La'Mour and Hemingway.
You should keep it as a two parter as more will only screw it up.

Wonderful TALE of Life!

I love a feel-good story. If there's another chapter, you don't HAVE to put "the Bitch" in it...but if you DO decide to do that...keep her a footnote, PLEASE! LOL! I'm a sucker for happy endings!

Excellent

You've become a good story teller. Excellent story.

Getting better all the time.

you're definately improving in your quality of writing. I would like to see how their relationship evolves. I mean, with children, school, work...things are bound to change and I would like to see more of your characters. Very well done.

Good Job

Good finish to this story! Appreciate it, also appreciate your understanding of the military!

Very well thought out and written story

This excellent story is another fine example of your ability to write. Your extensive knowledge on many topics (e.g., the military) add depth and favor to what you compose. RAG

Edit Shmedit

As long as the story flows well, small grammatical errors are easily overlooked. It didn't seem that "You Could've Heard a Pin Drop" needed a chapter 2 but you pulled it off extremely well. All these big tough noble honorable veteran types just make me want to go out and salute the flag, enlist in the Marines, kill a gomer, and have dirty sex with an LBFM. Ah those were the good old days. As a wise general once said; "Gawd I LOVE the smell of napalm in the morning."

Very well done and with a realistic storyline

The author is a very good story teller, and has a good tale to spin. It has been an enjoyment to read this story. Thanks

Excellent story

The errors didn't bother me. The characters in this one were strong and had some depth. I liked it.

Enjoyed Jake's Progress

I really enjoyed chapter 2. I realize Jackie's appearance was a literary device but it seemed unneeded. I will be reading more or your work.

What a pleasure to read!

Everyone likes a happy ending. A true loving wives story!

Thanks for writing!

Wow

I was pleasantly surprised to see a chapter 2. I loved it! Loved the happy ending--

Thank you for allowing me to be lost in a delicious moment of readership.

Very Nice...

Very well written and I love happy endings!!!

finest kind

finest kind

Well Done!

A big navy "E"! (For Excellence)

One of the best I've read here.

Realistic and the right ending. Three cheers for a man with genuine dignity.

Fair winds and following seas

for their lifes voyage... Great story and a cast of real people.

Great

Was a warm fuzzy story. Just like the bar. Thank you. Jim

A real story, very well done.

Nice to read a story that could be from real life. Nice work.

Good writer

I have just finished reading all your stories and have to apologize. I did not remember to give them all five stars and for that I apologize.

You have given me many hours of enjoyment with your good stories. It just goes to show that the best literotica does not have to be erotic in the sense of limited to varieties of explicit sex - not that I mind that occasionally. Many writers forget that there needs to be a story line. You have mastered this art.

Thanks for all the pleasure.

purrty good ole son

title sez it all, ya done a goodun here.

wat a nerve that slut jackie had brazen or wat glad he met someone nice

Finest Kind, Wood!

Well deserved 5 star rating!

This story is an excellent example

of how a story on Lit without explicit sex can be touching and entertaining. There are some other authors here that also do this well but I'm so happy to have come across woodmanone!

I have no objection to, and enjoy the erotic literature here but there is also room for stories such as this. Thanks!

An excellent read,

and very well written. As the previous commenter said, this kind of story is very welcome to the literotica stories.

IF YOU CANT SEE THE ROAR OR HEAR THE VIBES

re-check your life and start a wife. TK U MLJ LV NV

this was a man in my eye's

he gave her a chance once and she blew it. There wouldn't be another chance to fuck him over. Gave it 25 stars. Woodmanone this is one of the best stories here.

Good Denouement to the Story

Nice finish.

finally

I went through all your stories, over the last couple of days.
I found them all to be excellent. Really well written and they seem to grab your attention. Your westerns are really good, I hope you write more. Thank you!!!

5*****

Really enjoyed it--thanks for writing. Must go thru and make sure I've read all your stories.

Thanks again, tom anon

P.S. Could you give me Jackie's phone number?

just finished

gave it a 5 with one and two chapters. did a great job.

Excellent Follow-Up

Great finish to the tale of Jake and his people. In the end everyone was happy. Nice treat was the old girlfriend rebuffed trying to hook back up with Jake. Great tale.

excellent story

Finest Kind Sargent Jake!

2 over 1

Chap 2 is better than Chap 1 - something you don't often see.
Well done and very enjoyable.

Thx!

Quite a delight with some cruel reality in the mix.

Totally enthralling and engaging extremely well laid out.