All Comments on 'Ahh! Mom on Webcam'

by machelechudachudi

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  • 21 Comments
digdaddyrichdigdaddyrichabout 14 years ago
Not too bad for a first time

A little rough in spots, but well worth the read. I'll be watching for the next chapter. Thanks for the post and hope that you will post the next chapter soon.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago

Hopeless

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
.

Junk.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
Grammar anyone?

Get an editor. I couldn't get past the third paragraph the grammar was that bad. I thought literotica had standards?

great lovergreat loverabout 14 years ago
I think you should learn English

before you attempt to write a story. This story is very poorly written.

I would suggest you learn to write well. Preferably get an editor.

FrostillicusFrostillicusabout 14 years ago
WTF?

This is horribly written. Totally incoherent.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago

Its like you didn't even bother to try to make this good.

glenloverglenloverabout 14 years ago
lmao!

This is so bad it's hilarious! If you had put this in the humour section then I would have assumed you didn't want me taking you seriously as a writer. But since you didn't, lmao! Funny shit man

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
2 Stars

Normally, a short story has some degree of eroticism in it. While this one had a good set-up, if not totally coherent as some have put, it doesn't do too badly. I just find it a little impotent on actually arriving to anything close to erotic. Next time, please make the story last longer, maybe even with some more visceral descriptions of what the varied characters are doing to/with themselves, and lead on into what they could be doing with each other. Do continue, by all means. Let not the grammar police stop you from pursuing that which you craft.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago

where is the rest of the story?

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
???

waste of time,

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago

dude does ur mum fuck ne1 i live in kolkata call me

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago

wtf..?? wer s de continuation...??? u asshll..!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago

waste of time

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

it is better to praise her about her sweetbody and arouse her feeling

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago

wow ... very good start . i hope you will write more !

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
CRAP!

PLEASE ADD A STORY INVOLVING YOUR ISLAMIC MOM TOO..

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
ahh

Its nice.but it will be more sexy if u involve your islamic mom too

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
The language purists think they are the language police. Also what is not erotic for people in the First World countries may be shocking to a young man in a more traditional society

Enough with self styled language police. Let's forget the grammar rules. By the time a new rule becomes the norm it's obsolete already.

The author's problem is that he (she) presumed we will somehow know what makes the young man excited.

I myself understood that even the faint hope he would see his mom naked turned him on big time. All forbidden fruits are sweet. Breaking taboos is exciting. Social taboos in India are way more strict than in USA, Canada or UK. The author failed to build on that.

I would say the author is too young & inexperienced.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Chapter 1

If you are going to make your story in chapters you can let us know. When a writer does this it pisses me off, because the writer does not have the nerve to let the reader know that they have to wait to find out the ending. Sorry this is mine and only my way of thinking. I do not read stories that have chapters. I want to start at the beginning and finish the story in one sitting.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
Want more

This is the best incest story ever...... I really get horny after reading this .... I have read it almost 50 times..... And i never get bored

..... But i crave for the sequel to this story plzzzzzz add the next part in this series.

Anonymous
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