by machelechudachudi
A little rough in spots, but well worth the read. I'll be watching for the next chapter. Thanks for the post and hope that you will post the next chapter soon.
Get an editor. I couldn't get past the third paragraph the grammar was that bad. I thought literotica had standards?
before you attempt to write a story. This story is very poorly written.
I would suggest you learn to write well. Preferably get an editor.
This is so bad it's hilarious! If you had put this in the humour section then I would have assumed you didn't want me taking you seriously as a writer. But since you didn't, lmao! Funny shit man
Normally, a short story has some degree of eroticism in it. While this one had a good set-up, if not totally coherent as some have put, it doesn't do too badly. I just find it a little impotent on actually arriving to anything close to erotic. Next time, please make the story last longer, maybe even with some more visceral descriptions of what the varied characters are doing to/with themselves, and lead on into what they could be doing with each other. Do continue, by all means. Let not the grammar police stop you from pursuing that which you craft.
Enough with self styled language police. Let's forget the grammar rules. By the time a new rule becomes the norm it's obsolete already.
The author's problem is that he (she) presumed we will somehow know what makes the young man excited.
I myself understood that even the faint hope he would see his mom naked turned him on big time. All forbidden fruits are sweet. Breaking taboos is exciting. Social taboos in India are way more strict than in USA, Canada or UK. The author failed to build on that.
I would say the author is too young & inexperienced.
If you are going to make your story in chapters you can let us know. When a writer does this it pisses me off, because the writer does not have the nerve to let the reader know that they have to wait to find out the ending. Sorry this is mine and only my way of thinking. I do not read stories that have chapters. I want to start at the beginning and finish the story in one sitting.
This is the best incest story ever...... I really get horny after reading this .... I have read it almost 50 times..... And i never get bored
..... But i crave for the sequel to this story plzzzzzz add the next part in this series.