All Comments on 'Death & Love Ch. 01'

since he is dying and doesn't want to leave her alone he should get her pregnant so she will always have a part of him to love

It was a good introduction of your characters and story line. I'll be looking forward to the rest of the story. Take your time. Tell it all and flesh out the details a little bit. You have started what could develop into a beautiful sibling love story. Don't sell it short or you will ruin it.

Due to some comments I have decided to remove the two Death & Love stories on April 10th and rewrite them to be longer and fleshed out more. Enjoy them while you can, they will return in the near future.

when you put everything together and write the chapters make sure that even though we know he will die.. that they have a child so that a part of him can go on... thanx... Love this story!!

when are you going to finish this story never make a promise if you can't keep it you owe us a second chapter and a conclusion to this story. that said i like others think that she should get pregnant so she can have a piece of him after he dies. NOW GET BUSY AND WRITE

don't promise that you will rewrite the story and fix the stupid goofs unless you are going to do it. this needs a total rewrite and a good editor way too many spelling errors. also there is no way he can have two first times his headaches didn't keep him from sleeping. SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND SOME RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND DO A REWRITE AND ALWAYS USE A GOOD EDITOR BEFORE POSTING.

DBRS

If you read the opening paragraph you will see that Caleb's condition will cause him to lose his memory. The second time he says this he couldn't remember already saying it and becaue it was just his thoughts no-one else knew about it.

Also don't repeat yourself, I read your comment on Ch. 2 and you already said your piece in that

Billie alittle to whorish for me when I clicked on the story I was thinking of this is gonna be a sweet brother and his innocent lil sister but no she's whorish.

I think you're being a little unfair to Billie, I admit she may flaunt around Caleb but remember that Billie is trying to seduce him, she wants him to sleep with her so she can have his baby. Also if you read on you find that Caleb is the only man Billie is ever with, she's a tease, not a whore.

Why the hell does every person on this site fret over every little grammatical error or misspelling like its the end of the world, let's see you assholes write a story and post it before you sit on your ass and criticize every little detail

My thanks to the explanation given by the author in one of the earlier comments about the memory loss Caleb would suffer. I didn't pick up on that, and thus also thought it was a writing error when Caleb had two "first times".

This chapter was a nice beginning. Looking forward to reading the rest.