by triplehot100
More details would have helped to make John's actions more believable. Had relations cooled with his wife? Why did his wife drink so much that night when she was supposed to help her sister and when she knew John would be joining them? The progression to sex with Misty was just too rushed to be believable. But your story was still hotter than average. Keep writing!
you would have thought that the guys wife would have seen some signs here an maybe joined in!
started as a decent story but you should really learn to slow it down and let the story take you along and not just rush to the goods and fini
i was ok with the story until the ending. I don't like the way it ended but that's not my problem. It was just too fast. You need to flesh it out more.
Dude! Got off to a great start and then it went downhill because of the speed of the story. Try and start off with small actions and build ur way uup. maybe even get the wife 2 join in
You bozos crack me up with your critique of the story...like you're all Hemmingways or F. Scott Fitzgerald. Too funny!!
Do u have sister, I want to fuck her please
"Does she have to stay here?" I asked my wife.
"Yes she does, she's my sister," my wife replied. "You know she has nowhere else to go.
My sister had just called my wife ..."
Oh I agree 110% on the Critique job. just read the damn story if its hot then like it. if it isn't hot, don't like it but no one give a shit about your proof reading skills dip shit!!
Its all a fuckin lie anyway just written for entertainment so who cares about the grammar, punctuation or spelling.
"Does she have to stay here?" I asked my wife.
"Yes she does, she's my sister," my wife replied. "You know she has nowhere else to go."
My sister had just called my wife and said that she had finally packed up her bags and left her cheating husband."
Just who's sister is she? Because banging your sister-in-law is neither taboo nor incestuous, by any definition; nothing illegal, ergo taboo or incestuous has happened, you just got lucky.
Learn the ropes, junior.
I was hoping you would get castrated as you so richly deserved...
I've often thought about leaving one sister for the other one. In my first marriage it was my wife's older sister used to flirt with me and too bad her younger sister lived in Texas. My current marriage my wife's younger sister and I have flirted for years now & she's given me a few peaks down her top & allowed me a few touches of her.
i did exactly the same, fucking 2 sisters for years and gave them both kids