All Comments on 'Coach Miller Ch. 02'

make chapter 3 when ashley gets her clit pierced

Many parts of the story are very erotic but the actual writing is so terrible that it's extremely distracting. Distraction in any kind of writing is a problem but especially in erotica because it takes the reader's focus away from the action. There are so many errors -- in almost every sentence -- that it's hard to take the writing seriously and makes it not nearly as arousing as it could be be. There are so any mistakes, it's almost laughable: "bear" instead of "bare" butt and "shuttering" rather than "shuddering" are among the worst, but there's every kind of error imaginable. Get someone to read your stories before publishing.

Omg i loved it! The first one was great but the second one made me want to be fucked to the point of unconsciousness!! P.s ignore the mean person:)

I don't think you put much thought into this chapter

No improvement here

I'm trying to hang here, but really, an editor and you still have the coach's name different in two paragraphs just to get started?