I will be re-submitting the proper edited version fo this chapter. I have no idea how I managed to screw up so badly by posting this version. I am so embarrassed!
I agree with all the support about not worrying about the version you posted… This was HOT! I loved the way you wrote that first kiss and found I was holding my breath the entire time. That said, I like Demetri more and more and more. Mara‘s character, where she’s a bit timid strikes me as a real spitfire, so I can’t want to see how this all plays out! Jaz, wrong version and all, this was FANTASTIC and I’m seriously impressed!
The mistakes were minimal and the chapter was incredibly hot. I know, I know. It was just a kiss. But damn, those two have some amazing heat! It's exciting to see Demetri letting a woman get to him. Can't wait for Ch. 3!!
Whether it was a kiss or Demetri getting hit, this chapter was full of sparks. I also really like the way Annie has continued to keep the peace between everyone.
... a good job portraying Mara's very reasonable fear. I think the trend now is to romanticize the vampire and it is easy to forget how we would realy react if faced with such a creature. It will be interesting to see Mara's transition from fear to acceptance that Dimitri is capable of so much more than what she has seen so far. Though she has seen cracks in his armor with Caleb and Annie, I think her fear is still too palpable to realize that Dimitri is more than just a killer.
Just adding my two cents worth, I think, this tale just keeps getting better. I'm so far loving it much more than the first series, FIT. Now, moving along at a furious pace, onto the next chapter...
don't know why but the ending of this chapter cracked me up! It felt like a perfect balancing effect given the heaviness of the beginning.
Dem is yummy, in case you didn't know :P
by
Anonymous05/13/11
uhhhhggg!!! Character plotting Againnn!!
Shhhhiiiittt!!! Booorrrinngg! Where's the HOT SEX? It's okay in setting up the "family" dynamics. Is the family going to get kinky? M/M, F/M, MMFF? Don't tell me...story already done and finished.. SSSShhheeaatt!
Your 'Real Man' might not but mine would, if and only if he felt he deserved it.
Then again, I bet your 'Real Men' think that a woman's job is to clean up after you and rase ALL of your children, AND I bet you're upset that it's against the law to slap them around, even if you do it anyway.
you are a lot less believable than Jaz's characters!
If you like don't like what she writes, quit reading her and let those of us who really like her appreciate her. If you do like her, and have a small problem with something she wrote, then man up and critisize her in feedback.
I am so not impressed with your public bitching, so please grow up or at least chill out!
by
Anonymous02/24/13
agree with thegrphonsonfire
stories good, keep writing. a real man will accept as appropriate some pain to face his errors. Growing and changing is harder an more painful than a non-damaging hit,
Between last night and today have got this far in series. other than minor typos like them. Plan on showing my wife the story she will like it too I think.
Demetri deserved so much more than just a couple hits to the face! Caleb should have beat the t-total shit out of him! But, besides my opinion on that it's still turning out to be a good story.(even if I think Demetri behaved like a complete bastard.)
English
Apologies
I will be re-submitting the proper edited version fo this chapter. I have no idea how I managed to screw up so badly by posting this version. I am so embarrassed!
Jaz
Wrong Edit? Doesn't matter it was still great!
I love how your weaving the stories together! I can't wait for the next chapter and for her brother's story. Keep up the good work.
don't worry about the edits, i'm loving the story as it is !! now back to daily checks for the next chapter :)
What a kiss!!!!!!
I agree with all the support about not worrying about the version you posted… This was HOT! I loved the way you wrote that first kiss and found I was holding my breath the entire time. That said, I like Demetri more and more and more. Mara‘s character, where she’s a bit timid strikes me as a real spitfire, so I can’t want to see how this all plays out! Jaz, wrong version and all, this was FANTASTIC and I’m seriously impressed!
can you just
submit Ch. 3 instead? ;)
The mistakes were minimal and the chapter was incredibly hot. I know, I know. It was just a kiss. But damn, those two have some amazing heat! It's exciting to see Demetri letting a woman get to him. Can't wait for Ch. 3!!
I agree - do not worry - we are loving it
This is awesome - I think you are so talented. I also check daily for new chapters and you will always remain on my favorites list
Kate
SOON PLEASE!!!
Please post the next chapters A.S.A.P I love the story and need more now, it is so frustrating to have to wait! PLEASE hurry!
PLEASE!!!
Love your writing...couldn't stop..it is 3am..:)...please continue with this latest story asap..thanks
Loved it
Another great story.Please post next chapter soon
NEXT!!!!
Next chapter please!!!!!
S[arks Fly
Whether it was a kiss or Demetri getting hit, this chapter was full of sparks. I also really like the way Annie has continued to keep the peace between everyone.
I think you did...
... a good job portraying Mara's very reasonable fear. I think the trend now is to romanticize the vampire and it is easy to forget how we would realy react if faced with such a creature. It will be interesting to see Mara's transition from fear to acceptance that Dimitri is capable of so much more than what she has seen so far. Though she has seen cracks in his armor with Caleb and Annie, I think her fear is still too palpable to realize that Dimitri is more than just a killer.
Wow,
Just adding my two cents worth, I think, this tale just keeps getting better. I'm so far loving it much more than the first series, FIT. Now, moving along at a furious pace, onto the next chapter...
Hahahaha...
don't know why but the ending of this chapter cracked me up! It felt like a perfect balancing effect given the heaviness of the beginning.
Dem is yummy, in case you didn't know :P
uhhhhggg!!! Character plotting Againnn!!
Shhhhiiiittt!!! Booorrrinngg! Where's the HOT SEX? It's okay in setting up the "family" dynamics. Is the family going to get kinky? M/M, F/M, MMFF? Don't tell me...story already done and finished.. SSSShhheeaatt!
Just perfect man. Nice building up the characters.
(love dem getting bitched around by Annie, really funny he being knockd down by Caleb too :P)
I seriously doubt that any real man would idly stand by being slapped around by his 'best friend'
Even more so, because his bitchy girlfriend is on a power trip. But hey whatever floats Jaz's boat.
@ Count2three
Your 'Real Man' might not but mine would, if and only if he felt he deserved it.
Then again, I bet your 'Real Men' think that a woman's job is to clean up after you and rase ALL of your children, AND I bet you're upset that it's against the law to slap them around, even if you do it anyway.
*Sigh*
Geez, Count2three . . .
you are a lot less believable than Jaz's characters!
If you like don't like what she writes, quit reading her and let those of us who really like her appreciate her. If you do like her, and have a small problem with something she wrote, then man up and critisize her in feedback.
I am so not impressed with your public bitching, so please grow up or at least chill out!
agree with thegrphonsonfire
stories good, keep writing. a real man will accept as appropriate some pain to face his errors. Growing and changing is harder an more painful than a non-damaging hit,
Between last night and today have got this far in series. other than minor typos like them. Plan on showing my wife the story she will like it too I think.
Amazing
It's just amazing!
Thank you!
He deserved worse!
Demetri deserved so much more than just a couple hits to the face! Caleb should have beat the t-total shit out of him! But, besides my opinion on that it's still turning out to be a good story.(even if I think Demetri behaved like a complete bastard.)
Just reading this again and I got to say Caleb Cullen was allot better then Caleb Ryder. Actually Caleb dosen`t work at all with Ryder.
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