All Comments on 'Zephyr'

it's an old theme, but it worked well. five from me! kinda felt bad for tamara though, can she never recover? also, what happed at the end there when tiffany & sonja are talking and there a ", M" and tiffany screams she's a bitch? that's the only typ-o that was a real distraction.

Pythagoras was a Greek philosopher who made important developments in mathematics, astronomy, and the theory of music. The theorem now known as Pythagoras's theorem was known to the Babylonians 1000 years earlier but he may have been the first to prove it.

http://www-history.mcs.st-and.ac.uk/Mathematicians/Pythagoras.html

I have to admit, your story was a little difficult to follow along with at first and kinda jumped around a bit, but then everything started to make sense and came into focus.

Definitely need to continue the story

It's an interesting, confused but somehow romantic story - there's just one thing wrong with it.

Let's face it, we're all here to jack off. "Zephyr" doesn't have a single actual sex scene (if you don't count the one-line rape, remembering Tamara's rape and the cuddling/stimulation), certainly none that's long enough to jack off to. And that's despite the fact that it incorporates numerous hot girls and several strip clubs.

I haven't yet read your other stories, but please don't forget about what your audience wants. Alternatively, post under non-erotic - we won't be mislead then.

I know it's pedantic, but technically 1 isn't a prime number... prime numbers are natural numbers with exactly two unique natural divisors, and one only has one.

Otherwise I quite enjoyed the story. I was a little frustrated by the lack of an extended sex scene, given that the snippets were generally quite arousing, but I think the story stands on its own.

My only other complaint is the stereotyping of femininity. The story is ostensibly about empowering women, but the changes that manifest themselves as Bobby becomes Sonja could be interpreted as suggesting that if a man were to change into a woman he would suddenly become interested in shopping and cooking, which is pretty insulting. I'm ok with Sonja's characterization because I see her as an antithesis of Bobby, rather than an incarnation of femininity, and many of the other woman characters don't share that stereotyping. Still, if you didn't intend the more patronizing interpretation, a little care to make the distinction would go a long way.

Thanks for sharing.

to the previous anon.

we are not all here to jack off. I for one, come here to find pure emotion, both in the imaginations of others, and within myself.

to JimBob44

This was a beautiful story, which quite suprised me. I was unsure of the characters, & unsure of the plot pretty much until the apperance of Sonja, in name. Even so, Derek was skillfully created, with traits reminiscent of myself, which is something I look for. My doubts of the plot were largely out of concern for Tamara, but, though saddened at her destination, I was not altogether suprised nor shocked by it.

Perhaps best of all, I truly did not realise exactly where this story was headed until very near the end, and was certainly not expecting the transformation reversal. Strangely, it is the simple and almost logical twists that slip by you. A subtle yet truly masterful shift from the White Knight line of storytelling

Thankyou

Umm...you do know it's 'Pythagoras' (ancient Greek mathematician and philosopher who studied in Alexandria, Egypy) or 'pythagorean' (the study of and/or theories related to Pythagoras). I think I saw it spelled several different ways.

Amazing story . Loved it

Damn good literature sir, or madame, slightly confused about the last paragraph, literal or metaphor? Most of all sir, or madame seek a publisher, this is some of the finest writing I've ever seen!!

I want to compliment the author for covering such a wide range of serious issues within seven pages and with humor.

Considering the infantile tirades that pass for commentary on the Literotica site, I was also impressed that most of the postings for this story, actually were sensible and intelligent. Of course the haters may have unloaded their pitiful gibberish in direct communication to the writer.

I suspect instead, that many of the perpetual adolescents who haunt other authors, became too uncomfortable with the first two or three pages and fled to other stories. It's rough on the narcissists when you hold up the mirror of true seeing and they can no longer continue to lie to themselves about their shriveled personality.

Well developed characters and a good plot. I liked the characters and Booby, once a girl, was cute. Sad that Derek's girlfriend was so damaged from the rape. I wish that character had a happier ending.

A sweet revenge that is on for lifelong. A nice romantic fantasy.

Tamara's exit was simply lazy.

Gave it 4.Thanks.

This is the first story of your's thar I read.

I enjoyed it and have now read most of your stories.

I enjoy the stories, but am baffled why you don't get an editor.

Most of the negative comments are crap.

you write well and have improved greatly over time. It's very easy to tell your newer stuff from your older. Congrats on that.

well worth the read! Thanks!

The ending was way too quick.

I liked the way that Bobby slowly slid into her new self as Bobbi, some was kinda too fast, but very good, and I liked the way that she was open to looking at people and seeing the good in them.

I thought that Tamara wasn't totally believable as a psychopath..I would have liked to see either a little more of how she was that way ... or after the fact (the sobbing hints at it) what it was she regretted.

The final change isn't detailed at all, and even blocking out a couple of lines and throwing three stars (like ***) would have been better.

A little bit of forced change but with a happy ending. Nice.

A little bit of forced change but with a happy ending. Nice.

Was really enjoying this story, even the end up to a point. But it would of been better if there was a proper ending to it that rounded out the ending instead of leaving it open ended.

I am not sure what to think about this one. I don't have enough imagination to really enjoy this one. It is really a change of pace. If you intended to do something really different, you succeeded.