How do the kids keep getting onto and submitting stories to the site. All the "..." frequently used only a kid would do this stupid form of writing. Its more consistant with cell phone type messages than a decently written story.
If you're serious about writing, even as a hobby, I suggest you get an editor and review the basics of punctuation and grammar. For example: She was the prettiest girl I've ever seen, not I've ever saw. You don't use a space after the open quote. The ellipses were completely unnecessary. Sweat pants are LOOSE FITTING by definition and would not show that kind of, shall we say, detail of a woman's anatomy. So there you go. If you're serious, you'll get better; if you're not, I wasted my time but at least I tried.
by
Anonymous04/13/10
punctuation sucked but story was decent
Ok Ok, so the "quotes" drove me nuts. But the story was good. Im definately not a writer so Im not going to cast stones, however, I think with some editing he could develop into a good story.
Instead of slamming him, help him!
And no I not related to the writer.
by
Anonymous04/13/10
Quotes.............
drove me beserk!!!!! Like the basis of the story though.
Keep up that & work on the problems
by
Anonymous04/13/10
Potential
The basics of the story were good, the action was very good. The punctuation needs a lot of works, really created some disjointed reading. I liked the use of commas when describing some of the action, gave it a unique feel to the actions Kristi was doing.
English
kids
How do the kids keep getting onto and submitting stories to the site. All the "..." frequently used only a kid would do this stupid form of writing. Its more consistant with cell phone type messages than a decently written story.
Serious?
If you're serious about writing, even as a hobby, I suggest you get an editor and review the basics of punctuation and grammar. For example: She was the prettiest girl I've ever seen, not I've ever saw. You don't use a space after the open quote. The ellipses were completely unnecessary. Sweat pants are LOOSE FITTING by definition and would not show that kind of, shall we say, detail of a woman's anatomy. So there you go. If you're serious, you'll get better; if you're not, I wasted my time but at least I tried.
punctuation sucked but story was decent
Ok Ok, so the "quotes" drove me nuts. But the story was good. Im definately not a writer so Im not going to cast stones, however, I think with some editing he could develop into a good story.
Instead of slamming him, help him!
And no I not related to the writer.
Quotes.............
drove me beserk!!!!! Like the basis of the story though.
Keep up that & work on the problems
Potential
The basics of the story were good, the action was very good. The punctuation needs a lot of works, really created some disjointed reading. I liked the use of commas when describing some of the action, gave it a unique feel to the actions Kristi was doing.
Nice Start
Now to get these 2 going and see if he can keep his Job.
keep going
Great story line very good start
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