All Comments on 'The Dairy Maid'

You took one of my favorite subjects and wrote a piece of dreck.

What's wrong with it?

Well:

1) Haphazard spelling

2) Idiotic punctuation

3) Flipping between past and present tenses

4) Generally bad writing

Let the cries of 'Grammar Nazi!' begin. I appreciate what it takes to write a story, but this is damned near illiterate.

You REALLY need an editor.

I couldn't even be sure if English was your first language.

If it isn't, that's all good, but then you have an even BETTER reason to involve an editor.

Some of the expressiveness was moving and began to paint word pictures which conveyed the urgency of the bursting breasts which ultimately would translate into broader sexual urges.

But as soon as you got this going, along would come the next misspelling, the next poorly-placed comma, the next odd choice of verb tense.

Don't give up, just use the resources of Literotica to solicit an editor.

Or at least look up any of the informative "How To" topics on grammar, tense selection, and so on.

Plus use your dictionary and spell check.

Translated from the original Kurdish into Chinese, then German, then back into Kurdish and then English...?

I really enjoyed this story, don't listen to much about what the other grumpy readers are saying

Enjoyed that. Potential for a sequel please ? Looks like this pair could have some very hot fucking.

Two Stars

First, some of the paragraphs read out of context are well-written.

Unfortunately, neither of the characters was given a name for the reader to relate to. Also, there was absolutely no transition between the (unnamed) waiter watching (the unnamed) woman breastfeeding her child to him suckling her breasts. In addition, agree with prior comments about (desperate) need for editing. Furthermore, the repeat of the word mammar -y -ies detracted from the story.

Last, as both former military and as a military wife must comment that it is completely unrealistic that she'd be with a stranger rather than waiting with the other military spouses preparing for her husband's arrival. If her infant is less than six months old, iow born while her husband was deployed, she would be front and center as her husband would have the special privilege of greeting his family first.

How thoroughly un-sexy.