Is this fantasy with some kind of parallel universe (you mention current popular authors), or is it real-life in a fictional place? It's decently written but could use some clarification.
by
Anonymous04/17/10
not such a bad story, but the syntax is all over the place.....
by
Anonymous04/19/10
i thought it was cute!
i liked what i read maybe i have a simple mind for simple pleasure but i really enjoyed it. maybe another chapter to see how families react to there love? or just more on growing love
by
Anonymous01/20/17
Dialogue
You need to learn the proper grammar and rules for writing dialogue. As it is, it's almost unreadable.
Good but a bit confusing
Is this fantasy with some kind of parallel universe (you mention current popular authors), or is it real-life in a fictional place? It's decently written but could use some clarification.
not such a bad story, but the syntax is all over the place.....
i thought it was cute!
i liked what i read maybe i have a simple mind for simple pleasure but i really enjoyed it. maybe another chapter to see how families react to there love? or just more on growing love
Dialogue
You need to learn the proper grammar and rules for writing dialogue. As it is, it's almost unreadable.
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