All Comments on '2008 Ch. 05'

Its Just that simple. Anyone who cant see this is a Moron. and the stupidity of this story reflects that.

Kaye was/ is a no good lying cheating whore. Her lying and cheating has for YEAR been the very essence of her being ...her soul.

The idea/ premise that Pete could or would even WANT to try and change Kaye by forcing her to becomee a submissive was and is

lunancy.

The author never explains WHAT his purpose was in his plan to FORCE Kaye into becoming a submissive.

Go back to chap 2.. Kaye ONLY came back because she had NO place else to go. That is NOT in anyway voluntarily commtting one's self to that sort of lifestyle.

when she only did so to have a place to live, the story went down hill fast. With this last chapter, it went over the cliff. Still love the writing, but not this story.

You say that Beth had never been in Pete's home, yet she was there in Chapter 1 helping to pack Kaye's stuff. Good writers don't let inconsistencies like that happen.

She was very vulnerable and he made her feel as big as an ant after he humilated her, then further humiliated her by totaly rejecting her even though she was willing to do what was needed to set things right. She was on the right path but got rejected. Then her reflection on her actions further sent her to act in self pity and take her own life while still being apologetic in her note to him. What a sad tale!

What I criticize is that you open this huge can of worms without the intention to really handle it.

- What was the personality structure of Kaye ?

- Why did she cheat ?

- Why did she get a Tattoo with Marks name on her Pussy, thats not normal behavior of a cheating Wife.

All these and much more questions where never asked, much less answered in the Story. Authors tend to open cans of worms like this because it feels like a good thing to bring emotional tension to the story but its important that you follow up on these or you leave the reader utterly unsatisfied.

in addition to the inconsistency about Beth having been in the house to pack up the wife's stuff, there is this:

'They are the names of all the men and woman she cheated with while we were married.' Insert 'the' before 'woman.'

And you write 'I would miss her, and would cherish the good times we shared.'

Given how you wrote his response to her betrayal, and his impulse to coerce and humiliate her, it's a little soon for him to be cherishing anything about the wife.

Isn't it great to have such careful readers! Strikes me as a tribute to your obvious talent.

Rusalka

I really loved it. I'm glad I read the summaries of the cumming chapters. They told me who Liz was and that she was a sub. Otherwise I would never have guessed it. I've been telling a friend of mine on wajas.com all about this site and I've introduced her to My Pet Teacher in the Nonconsent Category. It's my favorite story but I like this one a lot better. You should combine all these little stories into a big one and make any corrections you need to. That would be one awesome story. You would win some awards for it, I know.

The wife was vile... and when she finally understood just how badly she had failed Pete as a wife, she couldn't live with the shame. She fucked Pete's brother bareback on his wedding day... the slut was unbelievable!

A fascinating story, but trying to force Kaye into being a submissive was always going to end badly.

Almost like he handed her the razor blades himself. A good man would feel partially responsible for the rest of his life.