All Comments on 'Through Different Eyes'

99% of loving wives stories are either over-the-top macho visions of how a 'real man' would respond to a cheating wife, or unrealistic 'wimp/wife-watcher' responses that a very small percentage of men can identify with.

But this story tells the truth about infidelity. Okay, she cheated. She confessed immediately. She didn't hide it or lie about it or try to make it in to anything other than what it was. So far, so good.

But now, your perfect wife is flawed. There is a big crack in the armor. And slowly but with increasing frequency, other cracks begin to form.

Suddenly, things about her that previously were 'cute' or 'quirky' now are just plain annoying.

That is the beginning of the end.

This story is about how a real marriage ends in the wake of infidelity. After the discovery, the other holes in the marriage start to stand out. And soon, you have no marriage at all.

And little or none of it is about male ego (the thing that almost all loving wives stories ultimately are about). In real life it isn't about ego. It's about the second law of thermodynamics (or something like that). Sooner or later, everything put together falls apart.

Infidelity is the first falling domino in the chain reaction leading to divorce.

this is a really good story. The plot was excellent and the telling very concise. TheBullet pretty well stated the case in his post. This is a story that requires thought. It is a very good one.

Personally for me I kinda of like the story because I kinda see it as he "believes" he's gotten over the affair, and he's trying, but the affair really isn't something that he really has gotten over. I thought it was worth 4 out 5.

I liked that part of your story because it really was had an honest feeling to the story.

But the parts that I really didn't like was this "The crux of the problem is that my wife was seduced while on a business trip"

A relationship, I won't say doctor but more of a coach, said this : Men will do anything to convince themselves that a woman they are interested isn't at fault and can't possibly be doing them in.

I say that because I have never believed any one can be "seduced" by another person. I ask anyone this, save for what I guess to be 2% of the population, if Roseanne Barr (Look her up if you don't know who she is) came up to you at a party and suggested that she knew tricks in bed that would curl your toes I do believe that 98% of the men in the world would turn her down, some running as fast as their legs could carry them away.

Now change it from Roseanne Barr to the female porn star of your choice. Suddenly that number changes from what I personally believe is roughly 2% to more like 58% of the men would be open to it, and given enough time that number may rise the more attracted they are to her. Why? Because they are attracted and "interested" in doing it. Using something like "Seduced me" is a cop out instead of them saying "I gave in because I was open to it".

If someone isn't open to it, and can't get away from a sexual encounter, then its rape. But if they willingly did it then its "mutual" and not a seduction. They might not have gone looking for it, but they were open to doing it all the same. Just the other person made the first move and they reciprocated.

That one point made me feel the guy in the story was really delusional about her interest in him when he started making excuses for her behavior right off the bat. The only honest thing he really did was admit that her affair changed his love for her.

-Risq

I almost never like stories that are so short because they rarely, if ever, make their point in a credible manner. To the contrary, the motivations and feelings are almost always glossed over for--as was pointed out--nonsensical machismo or even more far fetched excited voyeurism. Or, of course, they're simply a stroke story with no plot whatsoever beyond it goes in, it goes out, they get off with fireworks.

This story was far different, though. In a short, to the point story reminiscent of the essays of EB White, you have pointed out the real problem with infidelity: The spouse once on a pedestal now becomes just another flawed human being. I don't remember the story, but one of the better LW stories ending in divorce ended with the husband telling the cheating wife that yes, she made mistakes and, yes, those mistakes can be foregiven, but no, I (the husband) want a wife I can place on a pedestal and worship, and your infidelity took that away. This story is much like that. As theBullet pointed out, the wife was once pretty and lively and witty and quirky, and now she's just plain annoying. What was once perfect is now cracked, and the cracks are expanding.

To have made this point at all in this category is outstanding. To have made is so succinctly and believably is a miracle!

Please keep up the good work.

Be sure to follow this tale up.

I really liked it, mainly I think, because it came across so real.

Job well done say I.

to comment at all with the excellent writers and commentary of the first four to respond. However, I must try. I felt that you did a very good job with the plot, the flow, and the response of the Husband. Your story is a welcomed variation on the normal responses of the husbands in this genre.

PostScriptor quickly shows a different and probably a more numerous and realistic response to a cheating spouse. The over the top anger revengeful plots or the wimp acceptance or voyeurism may also occur I suppose. Just because I don't personally know anyone that has responded that way doesn't mean that it doesn't happen.

Although I think this response and gradual decay of a relationship is much more prevalent.

I agree with Risq-001in that I don't believer short of drugs or rape that a woman can be seduced. She was thinking about or was going to have sex or she wasn't. I don't believe that drinking or getting carried away is a factual explanation; the desire or intention was already there.

This story grabbed me and pulled me to the end and entertained me along the way. Well done.

Thanks for your hard work.

He never got over her one night stand, affair, whatever you want to call it.

Now he never will look at her the same way because he has detached himself emotionly from her.

Sad tale.

Short and to the point.

Thanks for writing!

....There were some characterizations without premise or logic here that weakened what is ostensibly an excellent cautionary piece about the fragility of the pedestal. Bullet's main theme sensible but on close examination I hope he is wrong, for he describes an interpersonal perception dynamic that is alarmingly immature. I disagree Risq, about seduction. I understand what you are saying but there are other instances of igniting physical passion where the players are well known (through work,neighborhood,friends etc.) to each other and a focused attempt at seduction actually changes the way one perceives the other, not dependent upon any natural biological predilection but totally born out of the combination of circumstances which form a complete seduction. The main problem I have with the credibility of the characterizations is with the choices of things the guy suddenly had problems with. You only overlook stuff like this for about a week. Voices carry, y'know? Great read anyway from a great writer.

wow that was short but brillant... which would serve as a basis for a great story.

what has happened here is that Ron did NOT get the chance to explode on her scream and shout and " throw her cheating ass out'.

her out right and forth right confession forced his mind to stop his heart/ emotions.

In essence he got ROBBED of his "moment".

so now Ron still has all that anger or maybe just general angst stored up inside him with no where to go.

Ron KNOWS that his image of his near perfect wife has changed but he does not KNOW why.

Ron is now fighting the WRONG war on a battlefield that was chosen by Laurie and the mutual friend. Ron did NOT chooseit and he is using the wrong forces.

Ron needs to be in therapy and so does Laurie. Maybe divorce is the best thing but given his mental state Ron's rage will NOT go away after

the divorce --in fact he is far more likely to get really fucking angry...

Like I said the premise of a Much longer story.

I do have to tell ya that this author is one my of my top 3 favorites authors in this genre... he stories are so..... whats the word.... realisitic? no thats not the exact I am looking for...

in the story MELTING AWAY SLOWY the wife has turned cold and frigid. NOT because she thinks her husband is or has been cheating. Not because he has been working too hard and neglecting her.

she has Just Lost all sexual interest. period. Is it Hormonal? Maybe but what do you do if the wife doesnt think any thing is wrong with her and therfore doesnt even want to try.? In her view People in their early 50s do NOT have sex.... according to her and that is all there is to it.

and that is VERY common attitude.

This author takes the Mundane and common place and is able to make it fascinating and absorbing

First of all good to see you back writing, it's been too long. Secondly the story, as always a very good read and well written as always. And probably more real than 99% of the stories on this site. I do feel sorry for the husband he didn't move on after his wife confessed, he maybe should have left then. But he tried to carry on with the marriage but ultimately the marriage has now ended.

Anyway good story, sad, but good. As for getting revenge? Go to it, have fun with him, just make it slow and painful.

Thanks again for writing PS.

my friends Risq and PistolPackingPete have raised the interesting points both for and against to the defense of " I was seduced" So I thought I would take a crack at it and see if I can explain the problem with this defense.

For my point of view the problem with I was seduced defense is that leaves TWO lingering and nagging questions.

1) that there was something that the other person /man did ... Something that the other person knows about my spouse that only I should know.

2) that there was something that the other person /man did ... Something that the other person knows about my spouse that I DO NOT KNOW ... and I should.

Damned if you do and damned if you dont

Suppose it happens to you.. Just like in the story. And your spouse confesses as soon as it happened the next day or when she comes home from the business trip . The confession is real and your spouse is filled with remorse.

Now let's say it's six months or a year later. Things have settled down somewhat. And you are outside working in the garden or raking the leaves or something like that. You stop and you think about recent events. Your mind wanders back to those eventful days where your spouse came home and told you that she had a one night stand and she was seduced.

The first thing that comes into your mind-- or at least my mind-- is WHY didn't my spouse ( wife) immediately separate herself from this guy she was dancing with or talking to the first time he cross the line? The First time he kissed her neck or put his hand on her ass?

Did she really think that she could handle the situation with several alcoholic drinks in her?

If the wife was so drunk that she was unable to distinguish this family friend (see the story) from her husband than a case can be made for rape and that probably should be pursued.

Lastly the seduction argument/ defense can ONLY be used for a one night stand. Even if one buys or accepts the possibility or premise of the seduction... How the next morning in the light of day can one STILL claim that the second time they fucked or the third time... He or she was still being seduced?

And surely it's obvious that one cannot claim the seduction defense on affair that lasts1 week or 5 weeks or 2 months or 4 months etc.

However in this case, the ancient Latin saying is not true. I loved it, you are the absolute best. I know, I know, I’ve said that to others but only because I am fickle. I always return to you with your latest submission. TY for writing. <P>

JB

This really resonates with me. I am undergoing a divorce (NO infidelity) after being together over 30 years and one of the things I am struggling with is looking back at all the enabling of bad behavior I did during the marriage. I kick myself thinking "Why did I let her get away with that?". I feel abused. But I didn't at the time because I was in love. Now I am not and things look VERY different. Some things are very ugly. Why did I accept them at the time? Why didn't I see? Love casts an aura over our perceptions and makes things line up to fit what we expect being "in love" to feel like. I think the story is very realistic. I think her really did forgive her indiscretion. But it broke his love for her and he didn't even realize it at first. And the little daily disconnects that love smooths over now start to stick out and become annoying. It's amazing how the human mind works. In love, all these things really aren't even noticed. Out of love, they all start to become irritating. The story explains this and it is true. Nice work.

Every time I think I have our friend Harry inVA Figured out he surprises the hell out of me. 50% of the time You come across as grade A asshole... 50% you come with angle no one has thought of. I guess either that is the way you want to be or maybe you really are that way. Dude if you are married your wife is either scared out of mind or is sticking around to see what the hell happens next!

....that it's forced me to reexamine one of my own Iron clad infallible opinions and (what,attitude DOESN'T make the difference?)-agree with Harry's refinement of Risq's original hypothesis.I would cautiously agree that the seductee has to be on at least some minute level, an enabler. And absolutely after a one -off* it becomes corruption.(*Tip of the hat Guy)

The author set the stage perfectly and took the story to a quick but logical ending. Nicely done.

Through Different Eyes — new dimension in LW story. Mostly, in such stories when the husband comes to know about his wife’s affair, or like in this story, when the wife confesses about her affair, the husband — sulks, drinks a lot, wastes most of his time plotting revenge. OR they have mind blowing, earth shattering sex and the marriage is saved. Such is not the case here. Yes, their sex life did changed after her confession, but it wasn’t enough.

About that “seduction” thing — remember, the “other guy” went to college with them, and they both knew him. Read this — [the son-of-a-bitch who got into her pants went to college with us; we both knew him. Bullshit was my personal response — I know that he had always had his eye on Laurie, he took advantage of the situation, and he wanted me to know.]

So the “other guy” did had a thing for Laurie, and got the chance on the business trip. He must be aware of her strength and weaknesses as he knew her for a long time (Since college). I agree with Harry — this story needs expansion.

Talk about superb writing and understanding. I have respect and envy for the quality of this short story. Respect for PostScriptor's understanding of the human mind and his ability to put it on paper and envy for I don't have that skill. Bravo PS. You're the best.

So true and so beautifully done!

Agree with the many comments such as put forth by Jasonnh . . . he was shocked out of his reverie and is not in love any longer, so he was no longer tolerant of her faults. I think this is truly how it can go in real life. Well-written. Thanks for your story.

...it doesnt take an adultery to see their spouse in a different light. worthwhile story. Thank you.

Very insightful and probably more universally a human trait than we realize. I think everyone has experienced this to one degree or another. It might even be related to the pedestal toppling that we experience when we see our parents being human for the first time.

With all that insight and appreciation for irony (the common interpretation and the real meaning), I can't wait to see what you have in store for the SOB.

Would like to See how he gets back at the A-Hole.

It is so obvious that love is blind and that betrayal lends itself to a sharper focus. However, this take is unique to this story and to no other that I have read on this site.

For your creativity alone in forcing the reader to consider the obvious (but often overlooked) I applaud you.

I've been taking sideways glances at the missus all evening...Mancelt.

Damn!!! A great one! Thanx!!!

Witty and fun read. Thanks for the BIG smile.

This can happen without the cheating even... I know as when the blush wore off the rose... I no longer appreciated my first wife as much. It is the shits when a newly married husband comes to realize he did not see the real women he marries.

Author must mean to say that the forgiveness was partial and conditional. Not too believable that character faults were not obvious previously. The male had made a poor choice originally I guess.

I thoroughly enjoyed it.

As long as he repays his former friend for his part in the affair.

Please kept writing. I love it when the bitch gits kicked to the curb. If a women could understand that they would be in a better relationship being a one man women, not a loose bitch, with wide open legs, then a man "not a wimp" could find Peace on earth.

Loved the disciplined story telling, the taut plotting, and the brilliant character development...all in a quick enjoyable read. Extremely well written!

Or perhaps not so sweet, the second story of yours I've read. Concise and so very well written. <P>

PK

I like this story. alot of truth in it. after awhile, things comes to focus.

To forgive doesnt mean to forget. Intelligence is not always a sign of remorse or repentence, even though one of the partners tried too hard. TK U MLJ LV NV

After 3 years of marriage my wife has got me to stop smoking, cut back drinking, helped me to appreciate the finer things, music, culture. I can cook gourmet meals, I dress better and generally take good care of myself. I think I'm gonna file for divorce, quite frankly I just don't think she's good enough for me now.

Second chapter please. It needs closure, good start.

It was brilliant the first time I read it. I'm just sorry I didn't compliment it then.

Jerry in Washington State - I read this story about two years ago. I've wanted to reread it since, but never found it - because I couldn't remember the author's name or the title of the story. I recently began systematically checking the stories of all the authors who wrote stories I liked. I had made a list of the authors. So I finally found it again. As with most of the other feedback on this story, I much enjoyed the different take - and more realistic - of how infidelity can destroy a marriage. I am disappointed that you didn't do a second chapter to show a "different but realistic" way to destroy the asshole who seduced his wife. But that is probably hard to do - come up with a unique revenge angle not already done to death. Thanks again for the story - I now know where to find it when I want to read it again.

A little insight into how to ruin a relationship, and it's not just getting fat (like they think!)

This is a true "classic" gem of a tory, that seems to get better each time you read it.

Well done! (again)

and doubt about a set up. TK U MLJ LV NV

He couldn't forgive her. That's why he's having these feelings. Not as strong as he thought he was.

Just goes to show that it can take only one time, just one indiscretion to destroy a marriage. A good lesson learned.

Don't cheat,

Consequences abound.

Damn I haven't used that line in a while.

Absolutely wonderful and an often undiscussed aspect of infidelity. Five stars.

So you try not to think about it. But little things keep bringing it front and center. And then love dies.

But love can be killed very easily. And when love changes to hate, it is impossible to ignore.

Best to cut loose from the whore. She'll cheat again, 100% chance. Once their legs open for someone outside of marriage, it becomes easier and easier. So when that overwhelming love ends, leave.

What happened? you were betrayed, the trust, bond, friendship, love everything that goes into a marriage is gone. What should have been sacred is shattered, no amount of counseling will ever heal, not even time. I do not call you a wimp, I call you a man, a man with feelings, that finally came to grips but, you should make those known to her. Maybe this was a one time thing, you would hope so, BUT, perhaps this was in the making for quite some time and you just now found out. My question is why would a friend do that, and second, why tell you when nobody would know, or perhaps others very close to you already did. There is a lot more to their story.

An aspect of infidelity not often discussed in LW stories:loss of what (love? Respect? Admiration? Value?)?

It's as though the wife had been an heirloom, perfect, highly valued. But now it has a crack in it. It's been glued together and you can barely see it but he knows it's there. It's not something he's proud of anymore. He's almost ashamed of it. Doesn't want to show it off any more.

I read BTB stories and I read reconciliation stories (no willing cuck stories). I don't mind a story like this that admits the pain. The recent series by The Unoriginalist is a case in point. Even when there is still love, the relationship is never the same. It can continue. Millions of marriages limp along from year to year, no longer satisfactory but continuing to coast on inertia.

for whom, and what for and when, TK U MLJ LV NV

"Once I realized that Laurie had feet of clay, it changed my image of her."

True.

He lost all his respect for her - he forgave her - easy enough it seems - but he lost her in his mind and could find no way back.

All to easy for any of us to find ourselves in his place OR HERS - love actually does cause chemical reactions that inhibit our perceptions of those we love - (actual science here not BS or romantic notions) - it MAKES us see them better than they are - vital to the survival of the species of course.

But when that spell is broken - what is left - if not respect and true trust we are lost - he did not worry about her after the affair - WHY NOT - did she regain hos trust immediately? Of course not. Did she modify her behavior away from how? Did not seem like it. So how did he get past that normal, natural period of question? He stopped caring - he saw her for the flawed h8man she was - we all are - and decide he did not care any more and would move on.

Did he stop loving her - maybe - more likely he stopped be impressed by her and wanted better - kinda shallow - but maybe good for them ????

it's like that scene in the movie City Slickers where Curly holds up one finger and says that it's one thing. Well, in this case it was that one thing that made his wife special to him, allowed him to overlook some "flaws" and when that one thing was gone the blinders were off. Some times it's hard to identify that "one thing" but you can sure tell when it is gone.

Don't know that the story was that well written but the premise was spot on to real life. I liked it.

So in the end what she did served as the "slap upside the head" that knocked the rose-colored glasses that he looked at her through off.

I concur with the other comments that said this is a much more realistic portrayal of the aftermath of a spouse cheating.

It does not require many words to speak the truth-- Chief Joseph

This is a much more realistic look at a cheating spouse than some of the other stories. Another comment said it well, the cheating caused the husband to take off his rose-colored glasses and see her how she really is. Thanks for a real deep story.

The way to kill the Magic in a relationship is to get too sloppy. The beauty one becomes enraptured with loses her appeal when she leaves the bathroom door open while she takes a nasty dump. When she farts while in one's company. There are a hundred little things that add up to destroy our perception of the girl we held on a pedestal. Doing unpleasant things in privacy, and away from the eyes of one who is enraptured with her, will keep the love alive in a relationship.

In a successful marriage the irritating little traits we all exhibit get forgiven because they are more than balanced by the strengths and depths we discover in our partners.

Our common love for our children and grandchildren, our triumphs over setbacks and our coping with adversity, all help redeem us. Maybe seven years is just not long enough for this balancing out to happen.

It does change everything.

My wife cheated on me, once. At least, that's what she told me. The oddest thing happened, while I was still fond of her and we went through marriage counseling, I had absolutely no desire for her. Not for sex, not for even holding one another, not for even a peck on the cheek. I began to find her revolting.

It's not that she a pure virgin when we married, I knew very well some of the guys that fucked her. While not the town bicycle, she had been test drove by many. And the guy she had the one night stand with was one she had fucked in her past. So why the change for me? We were married and her sexual past shouldn't have become part of our lives. I simply could not touch her.

We've lived like this for about 6 1/2 years now. From the outside we look like the perfect couple, although still childless. If one were to look closer, they would see we share nothing that most couples do, little looks and glances, a touch here and there, perhaps even the holding of hands. No, we simply don't have any physical interaction.

She was devastated at first. It wasn't until she saw my physical reaction, my being creeped out anytime she was even near enough to touch me, that she understood what she'd done. At least, she began to understand. We are like roommates now, we talk, eat together, watch television together, even go out together, as long as I don't have to touch her. We sleep in separate rooms and she found out I lock my door at night, she's tried the doorknob many times.

Why has she stayed? I simply don't understand it. She swears she's not cheating on the side and I heard the hum of a battery operated toy from time to time, but who knows, maybe she is getting some on the side. Me? Nope, I don't trust the opposite sex any longer and have no interest in pursuing another woman. The one I have cooks and cleans, we have good conversation and share bills (although I am putting away quite a lot where it won't be found).

The only thing that has changed has been Aubrey's biological clock is ticking ever louder. She wanted at least 4 kids and now in her mid 30's, she is starting to feel desperate. At least judging by the way she has begun to dress of late. She tends to wear revealing clothes and more than once has attempted to seduce me. And more than once, she has retreated to her room in tears.

What am I waiting for? for Aubrey to no longer be capable of bearing children and throwing her waste of life in her face. I don't hate her but I don't cringe from hurting her, it is simply payback for ruining our marriage and my life. And ultimately, should she never give birth, her own life too.

An outstanding point, but could have been communicated more richly.

lacking in many of the stories here that deal with adultery,

Thanks for giving this POV a voice.

Don't think you should have used the "wimp" tag for this story, though.

You have certainly written better stories than this. I even question that it was written by the same person who has written such compelling previous works. 3 stars and I feel I am being generous. I am hoping this was an anomaly.

I've thought this scenario could be the ending of a lot of reconciliation stories.

Lack of counseling and reevaluation of their partnership indicates it was a fairly shallow and tepid marriage to begin with. The adultery just brought the incompatibility into focus more sharply, and faster. At least there's no kids to suffer.

Otherwise you end up like 3rd husband of serial cheating wife described on Facebook profile of dearbornmt@yahoo.com

True story

Real people

The one word to describe this story.

I enjoy btb and reconciliation stories, but I know that most of the stories are fiction, not likely to occur in real life. This story seems all too possible, with the only question being how long they last.

Excellent story of the real cost of cheating. 5 stars and favorited.

situations should be handled promptly. TK U MLJ LV NV

Always wondering what if.

The uncertainty that comes with each new business trip.

Checking your e-mail.

Will there be too much alcohol again this time?

...really be able to bring complete reconciliation into this relationship. I don't think it can be possible. Once trust and respect has been violated there is no amount of love or forgiveness that will restore those two principle pillars.

I can't add anything to previous comments. We all recognize reality when we see it.

"You've lost that lovin' feeling" takes on a whole new meaning.

Finally, a realistic story on this site. I have been there, same reaction. Sad when our eyes are opened up isn’t it.

i think the world was correctly used. Irony is hard to define. It is commopnly confused with coincidence but they are not the same.

One could argue that knocking her off of the fantasy pedestal actually made a relationship based on who she really was possible for the first time in their lives.

Not with a bang, but with a whimper.

Extremely good and realistic story.

Great story. He lost respect for her, something that is bound to happen when a spouse cheats. Her admission of the affair is a positive only if it wasn't coerced. If lover boy ratted her out to hubby, perhaps it was because she tried to end her relationship with the scumbag and this was his way of destroying the wife. In such a case, her confession loses meaning, if she only did it because her round ass was glass. So, it would be useful to know why she confessed, not just that she confessed. Anyway, very believable. Hope you write again.

Glad he is booting her to the curb, even drunk you know what you are doing and you do remember.

She cheated and she is at last getting her full due for doing so.

Good story

4/5

Great take. Kind of a preface to the emotional cancer that when fully metastasized results in Melting Away. Here you explore the real consequences of betrayal in a marriage. Even though forgiven there are serious hidden consequences. The trust and respect are severely damaged. Without that trust the married safe place vanishes and married intimacy transforms into indifference. That is what is described here so succinctly. The increasing contempt is the measure of consequences of betrayal. Without intimacy there is no marriage. His slide towards divorce is the only real option. He deserves a do over.

Great job. Tight and succinct exploration of the hidden consequences of married betrayal. Forgiveness stills the hatred but true intimacy normally dies. You show that you do reap what you sow.

Removing the rose colored glasses can be an illuminating thing

Absolutely excellent!!!

How about you give the SOB Laurie? Sounds fair?

Idiot.

Haa, you should have continued

While some coukd say he probably wasn't ready for marriage and woukd have reached a similar malaise eventually as he doesn't seem to like living with another person, others can say that of you cheat, you come off the pedestal and how your aggrieved spouse looks at you can be irrevocably changed. All depends on the person. Suspect in this case t is a combination of the two at work.