A Perfect Fall Pt. 01

in control

You have to hand it to the new neighbors as they seem to have power over everyone they met. Definitely a fun and entertaining story which is well written. Thanks for sharing.

Great story

Being submissive myself, this story is a fantasy of mine. To be dominated by a black woman, forced to please and break away from my mundane life is such a turn on. Would love to see where you would take this next.

great

I can't wait for more............please@=_

A simply wonderful tale...so many plots twists and diversions not to mention the many levels of fetish fantasy. Hopefully a continuation is in order...its a must for this submissive yet sassy gal.

Must be continued

I have just started reading your stuff, it is outstanding. Please keep it up, so I can stay up.

great

great story want more of it

very nice

being a black male i love the part about a women giving her body to have a baby for a black man just to please her mistress. i also love the the way they used another mans wife. to see her turn to the kinky side that hidden so deep inside all of us. to see her have to give her daughter to her as a pressent was super hot and the ultimate in submission.
i loved this story had my cock hard most of the way. could not get enough and really gets my imagination going adding to this story.
especialy the thoughts of her husband being used and abused in front of his wife and daughter. wow this was one kinky hot story. THANKS.

Great story!!!

What a fantastic story! I love all the different little story lines, and can't wait to read more. We need chapters 7-12 ASAP!!! lol

Grrrreeat!

I just loved the story! Can't wait for the next parts!

This is fucking awesome. I couldn't stop reading. I am a married white male in his 40s, been faithful to my wife for 25 years and never had any kind of gay sex in my life and all I can think about is totally wishing I could be a sex slave and be abused in whatever way you demand. I have jerked off 7 times since reading your stories starting yesterday

Love your story..

Good ones..

Also left a pic for you at the end of the StrapOn Thread:

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.ph p?t=643923

My one story here is at:

http://www.literotica.com/s/happy-anniversary-1 2

Cheers


rain

Disappointing

I read this story after reading the glowing reviews and I expected that it was going to be awesome. Unfortunately, it was a huge disappointment, and I can't understand why it was rated so high. My only thought is that you must have a lot of faithful readers who praise everything you write even if it is your grocery list. There was far too many issues with this story to even list. I'm usually not one to complain because I know just how difficult it is to pen a quality piece of erotica, but I had to comment as to how many glowing comments you received and how you managed to gain a 4.57 rating with such an amature attempt. This story was all over the place, filled with grammar and spelling mistakes, and so unbelievable, it bordered on ludicrous. I do know that you have written some high quality stories, but this was not one of them. 1 star

wonderful

i love reading your stories Ma'am! As i indicated in another rating of yours, i am a submissive woman and i love to read about other submissives. If you read this, i have also written a number of stories and would like your advice on how to get them published here on literotica. i have been published before on Richard's Realm under the name of jo7172. Thank you!

SHIT STORY ,THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BLACK FUCKING ,AND WHITE FUCKING BUT NOT THE WAY YOU WRITE IT .

thanks

i love the feeling of submission in your writing, the draw to depravity, cumming wondering what such an act would feel like, what others would think of my pleasure, thank you for the orgasms

Your writing is so real and comfortable, regardless of the subject

Reading this story, us readers get the ability to empathize and identify with feelings and desires. It is beautiful....

yum

Just brilliant J

Not your best

I've read a lot of your work and have always been impressed with it. However, this isn't one of your best efforts. The story is absoluty unbelievable. With the immediate submission of way too many people. A good story has at least a little reality to it or even the slightest hint that some of it could be real. This has none of that. The events unfold like a runaway freight train, like you were rushing to write this as fast as you could with little thought to it. You can do much better. You have done much better.

Authors note: Lol

Hi
Thanks for the comment.
I agree.
That said, this was the first story I ever wrote... hopefully I have come a long ways since then.
This story now would be three times as long to build character development... my early stories were all sex, no character...

Jasmine

Still love it

I agree that it all happens fast but I still love reading it, it's been a while but I still want to be in Jessica's place. Your stories are all wonderful!

What a poor and ugly story!

I think the author could be a little more creative. This story is a non sense and lack of content and creativity.
I do not believe in black domination, even though I like bike and juice cocks!...LoL.
The author could be more focus whether the story is about BBC, lesbian....the mess up both together and screw to whole thing!...It is a very bad story!

I love the premise.

Without knowing this was your first story, until I read the comments, I also thought it was different than what I've come to expect from you. This one seems rushed, and choppy, it doesn't flow like your newer stories do. Still though, even if not your best, it's still a fantastic story. I just needed let my imagination fill in more than usual. ;)

A fine debut.

I cannot criticise a debut story, but will critique as if I had never seen your work previously. More attention to the continuity, character building and forming a realistic relationship between your players and their, audience will encourage your readers to imagine themselves as participants in the tale. This is the aim of all budding authors, regardless of the genre. Ok, critique over. You have more than achieved the aim of drawing a multitude of avid fans to your stories, over the years since this; your first effort; keep at it, we love you Jasmine.