Albeit exciting, your first submission wastes no time expanding your SM character's dreams of control by her fantasy captor, withour hinting as to exactly where you're taking your initial readers. Leave your readers in limbo, before revealing descriptive experiences, from your kinkiest imagination? A brilliant genesis from a gifted writer, we can only hope? Let yourself go next time, whilst your readers interest is attracted by your initial thoughts, to gain [hopefully winning] votes for your future submissions my lovely!
Sexy and hot with erotic scenes that are vivid in the readers mind.
A first time post that is very good.
I hope to read more of your exciting mind.
Congratulations - am really impressed with yo work in light of it being the first. Great account of the plot as u bring us inside your mind from the onset and I luv your use of eyes and mirrors to stimulate the mind and imagination - worked very well...
I like the element of surprise as yo husband joins in the fun...the only minor criticism will be yo change from present tense to past tense around the time of yo husbands arrival - hardly noticable but it didn't tale away much from the fun and pleasure. Great piece :)
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