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English
That's it??
Where's the logic?? All the other men get laid after the bdsm games but not our main man??? Don't think so.
what a waste of energy
I can't have taken a long time to write it but still, it's a waste of energy. Pure bullshit. What guy would take this. Boy, would I take my revenge.
Tease
To stretch a tease out to the max can bring great excitement, to go beyond brings anger not pleasure. For me she went beyond so the story lost me when he didn't respond in a way I could believe. How this plays out from where it stopped has a problem as I no longer understand him. The author has the right to go were he wants with the story. The reader wants to follow. BUT ..... I got lost when all he felt was frustrated erotic fantasy in a situation that creates strong anger. I suppose you can make it work by having him be such an incredible wimp that nothing done to him causes him to respond that way. BUT ..... now you lose me again for writing a story with out characters I care about.
I did like the ebb and flow of it and thought the images you created were vivid and done well. All in all a good effort. I'm sure there are some who will like it. I just think you are appealing to a very small audience with this guy.
Boring.
See title: boring.
Wrong category
This clearly belongs in BDSM, not in Group Sex. The entire theme was about bondage and frustration, much more a part of BDSM.
He's a slave not a cuck.... BDSM
What MAN would want to be treated this bad? No love on her part. She's just a slut and user.
Loved the Story!
Your story touches on many sexy subjects. The only improvement I could possibly suggest is the length of the story. In this case, longer would definitely be better. Thanks, author, and please keep writing!
garbage...
if you don't even understand your own plot... if you don't know what group sex, fetish, bdsm is... then you certainly shouldn't be posting here.
Well I hope she enjoyed the divorce
She earned it. I wonder how badly he beat her when he got loose?
What was that? A plot?
Sure wasn't a story as it just kind of roamed around, up and down. I'm not sure an editor could save this mess.
Great story
Enjoyed the story a lot. Would love to see a follow-up
Greetings.
First things first, I think you've got the makings of a pretty good story here. The opening scene you set was clearly described, as were the subsequent interactions of the various women. All the actions were described clearly, and took place in a sensible (if mystifying) order.
I've read all the comments. Category comments have a valid point, since Group Sex was never actually described, only echoes of it. This seems to be either BDSM or possibly Fetish.
What was missing? I think it was motivation. You never really told us what motivated him (or his wife). There are many possibilities, yet you offered us none. He might get turned on by helplessness, or frustration. He might be so focused upon his mistress's pleasure that this seemingly cruel denial was nothing more than a delicious chance to fantasize about the joys she might experience (even if the visiting male is really a dud). There are also other options which might have been pursued.
Anyway, I'm rambling on. What you've got here is the bones of a solid story. If you ccould get us inside your character's mind with the same clarity that you bring to your scene descriptions, then this story would Rock.
Thanks for sharing. I've come to believe that I gotta give props to authors who submit their work. After all, I haven't had the gonads to put any of my ideas on pixels (yet). Please keep writing.
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