I liked your uncompromising and economical writing style. I hope you manage to continue in the same almost matter of fact manner. I'm sure more young lads would return better grades with similar incentives.
Pete
When did schools throw out the book and stopped teaching proper writing?
Seems many are using "..." to indicate a pause when that's one function of a coma in properly written material.
by
Anonymous05/04/10
Good Start
Not a bad beginning, story has potential. Looking forward to where it goes from here. As to the reader who complains about ... , maybe it does signify a coma, and a coma cannot be shown through a comma.
i agree with the others. good start. i like her. i hope you will have her give up smoking since it has accomplished its purpose. as an ex-smoker it gives me the creeps to see someone who has managed to quit start up again.
Now make sure to not leave us hanging here, ok? You're a good writer and the Mom/Son and smoking angle is right up this guys alley! Good job and really hoping you share the second part of this hot tale.
seeing my mom smoke as i grew up always turned me on so much. she looked so sexy smoking her brown more and it always made my cock so hard. she is still my number one fantasy and i would love 2 taste her beautiful hairy pussy while she smokes 4 me and plays with her amazing titties. i really wish i could fuck her because i know she would love my long thick cock
Wow - that is hot and leads you into what should be some really horny chapters - get writing please!!
by
Anonymous05/11/10
Another Pair Of Effetist Snob heard from...
Clive2007:
There are two types of "reformed smokers" in the world. There are those who become convinced - for whatever reason - and are never heard from again.
And then, there is the other sort. They're the ones who decided to quit, and then somehow achieved some sort of mystical "enlightenment". They are then convinced that they have knowledge the rest of us do not possess. They are also somehow convinced that they - by virtue of their superior knowledge - have the right to sit in judgment over the rest of us, and tell us exactly how we should lead our lives.
The problem is, this "enlightenment" they achieve does not include the ability for them to see how foolish they appear, when they open their mouths to judge the people around them. And that's just sooooo sad!
And - for "tmock" - go ahead and complain about this story being "just another smoking commercial. There are too bloody many "stop smoking" commercials in the media, and I think it's about time that smokers began to strike back!
by
Anonymous05/14/10
Clive, you don't manage to quit smoking, you manage to stop smoking, it's a continuous process that some can reduce to a subconcious effort while others struggle with it for years. While it is applaudable those that manage to successfully stop smoking, I loose all respect for those that become the strong advocates of non-smoking by looking down upon those that are not able to successfully kick the habit. Many that do succeed need to try multiple times before they begin winning the continous battle, relapses are unfortunate but do not doom them as failures.
by
Anonymous05/16/10
Great beginning
This is a great beginning. I'm looking forward to reading more. Nice job of setting it in the eighties (I'm guessing) just by small touches of music, C-64, Zork and fanfold paper.
by
Anonymous05/24/10
Grade A
Very well written and a surprising parallel to what happpened between my daughter and me.
You might not believe this but when my daughter was thirteen, I knew that she had a serious case of the hots for daddy and (dirty me) I really wanted to give her what she wanted. But her grades at school weren't what she was capable of so I decided to use what I knew was her secret desire and give her something to work for. We had a lot of alone time so I told her that if she got good grades, the next semester, we'd do whatever she wanted to do. She looked at me for a minute and then said, "Anything??" With a look and smile that let her know what her anything could be, I answered, "Yes. ANYthing." . A while later, she came to me and quietly asked if I really meant ANYthing. I looked her straight in the eyes and repeated what I'd said, earlier, "Yes. ANYthing." and then gave her a long, close hug. (one that caused my cock to swell in anticipation) She hugged me so hard that I'm sure she was wishing that she'd already gotten the good grades and was going to get her daddy's 'anything'.
I never saw a kid work harder at doing their school work than she did.
When the semester was over, she showed me the three B pluses and two A's that she'd earned and then, nervously, looked at me and asked me again if I'd been serious about letting her do or have anything she wanted from me. I smiled and said, "Yes." .... She said, "Even if it's something really private and nasty?.... Something that Mom can never know about?" I said, "Yes, honey. Whatever it is will be just between you and me."
After a several second pause, she barely got the words out as she timidly asked, "Can we have sex with each other?" I asked, "Is that what you want?" She whispered, "Yes." .... and that was the first time for her and for us. (I'd had a vasectomy, which I explained to her, so she never got pregnant)
by
Anonymous08/02/10
Good start, keep it cumming
Good set up of the story line and premise. Who cares about the smoking, other than it ads depth of character to the mom. Besides, the moms' smoking or not is not the main reason we're on this site for. Can't wait for the chapters for the B's and A's.
...with 2ndchance, singaporechris and the rest of the commentators. It's a
GREAT BEGINNING with an ending that is screaming, "there's MORE to come!!"
I, personally, hope there's a lot more to come, at least through College. I think
the Mom is very cool, proactive and extremely HOT (sizzle!). She's willing to
'really' put it out there. End result, academically smart (er) kid w/ possibly a
College Scholarship and a serious plus of knowing what to do with a Woman.
For personal reasons, I could definitely do without the cigarettes, nuf said!
Anonamous "Grade A",
I'm not sure, but I believe, in your comment, you actually wrote, if I'm not
mistaken, a "FLASH." It's a real short story, if I understand that term.
To your credit, I thought it was hot, I gave it 5 stars and changed my shorts.
It had an ending that was screaming, "there's more to come!" ......wait,
did I already say that ? Anyway...
I'm just a recreational reader so I'm not distracted with grammar or punctuation.
If I can find the meat 'n tatters, I'm a happy camper! More Chapters Please.
WHEN DOES THE INCEST START !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TALKING ABOUT IT ARE JUST WORDS. I HOPE CH. 2 IS A LOT HOTTER. . LAROC OF AGES
by
Anonymous11/01/13
"You're not the only only kid who ever came down with the hots for his mother. It happens."
Truer words were never spoken. This is a great story by a great writer. The writing is of a very high literary quality, I just wish we had more contributions from him. (Vitro is also a very generous author, check out his Favorites.) I can never understand why readers leave niggling negative comments; maybe that's why Mr. V stopped writing. Chris is a cheeky lad, he gets with the program right away, and even asks his mother if for every C she'll give him her cunt. He's been real interested for a long time in that wonderful hole between his mother's legs that he came out of. Smart and funny mom sets him straight on that. No, Chris gets his mother's mommy-hole only for an A. Oh, well, he's smart too, so there's plenty of hope. The boy'll be going around with a big hard on his pants until the glorious day comes. I enjoyed the comment by the father who wrote "grade A." This gentleman's own baby girl came on to him, letting him know that her adorable little coochie was open and ready for his fat veiny daddy-dick and for all the creamy semen in her father's big daddy-balls. He's been sticking his cock and unloading his semen in his girl's pretty little twat every since. Way to go, pal. That is true father-daughter bonding, a dad's big prick and his darling baby girl's sweet little slit.
English
The start of something good!
You've got me hooked.
Can't wait for chapter 2
A good start
I liked your uncompromising and economical writing style. I hope you manage to continue in the same almost matter of fact manner. I'm sure more young lads would return better grades with similar incentives.
Pete
Great start
Thanks for our effort. I hope you continue
when did
When did schools throw out the book and stopped teaching proper writing?
Seems many are using "..." to indicate a pause when that's one function of a coma in properly written material.
Good Start
Not a bad beginning, story has potential. Looking forward to where it goes from here. As to the reader who complains about ... , maybe it does signify a coma, and a coma cannot be shown through a comma.
Just another "smoking" commercial.
A good build up and a good storyline
I hope the dude gets straight "A's"
Thanks for the read and hope that you continue the story
good start
i agree with the others. good start. i like her. i hope you will have her give up smoking since it has accomplished its purpose. as an ex-smoker it gives me the creeps to see someone who has managed to quit start up again.
Awesome...
Now make sure to not leave us hanging here, ok? You're a good writer and the Mom/Son and smoking angle is right up this guys alley! Good job and really hoping you share the second part of this hot tale.
good start
you have made a good start to what could be a nice long story, good premise and idea, look forward to part 2!
Again nice Premise!
Can't wait to read #2! Don't leave us all hanging!
This was slightly different from the story "The Deal" currently posted today with chapter 02.
Thanks for writing!
Wow
that is a great start to a long series of chapters and i look forward to reading more from you soon about how good he does at school....
A winner !!!!!
I think this story has legs !!!!!! The values are set, the stage is drawn....go for it !!!!!!
Whoa
This sounds like a great story. Hope you have part 2 ready.
Fantastic Story!
Wonderful story. I especially enjoyed the mother/smoking aspect of it. Can't wait for more!
-slimv
great story
seeing my mom smoke as i grew up always turned me on so much. she looked so sexy smoking her brown more and it always made my cock so hard. she is still my number one fantasy and i would love 2 taste her beautiful hairy pussy while she smokes 4 me and plays with her amazing titties. i really wish i could fuck her because i know she would love my long thick cock
More please!!!
Wow - that is hot and leads you into what should be some really horny chapters - get writing please!!
Another Pair Of Effetist Snob heard from...
Clive2007:
There are two types of "reformed smokers" in the world. There are those who become convinced - for whatever reason - and are never heard from again.
And then, there is the other sort. They're the ones who decided to quit, and then somehow achieved some sort of mystical "enlightenment". They are then convinced that they have knowledge the rest of us do not possess. They are also somehow convinced that they - by virtue of their superior knowledge - have the right to sit in judgment over the rest of us, and tell us exactly how we should lead our lives.
The problem is, this "enlightenment" they achieve does not include the ability for them to see how foolish they appear, when they open their mouths to judge the people around them. And that's just sooooo sad!
And - for "tmock" - go ahead and complain about this story being "just another smoking commercial. There are too bloody many "stop smoking" commercials in the media, and I think it's about time that smokers began to strike back!
Clive, you don't manage to quit smoking, you manage to stop smoking, it's a continuous process that some can reduce to a subconcious effort while others struggle with it for years. While it is applaudable those that manage to successfully stop smoking, I loose all respect for those that become the strong advocates of non-smoking by looking down upon those that are not able to successfully kick the habit. Many that do succeed need to try multiple times before they begin winning the continous battle, relapses are unfortunate but do not doom them as failures.
Great beginning
This is a great beginning. I'm looking forward to reading more. Nice job of setting it in the eighties (I'm guessing) just by small touches of music, C-64, Zork and fanfold paper.
Grade A
Very well written and a surprising parallel to what happpened between my daughter and me.
You might not believe this but when my daughter was thirteen, I knew that she had a serious case of the hots for daddy and (dirty me) I really wanted to give her what she wanted. But her grades at school weren't what she was capable of so I decided to use what I knew was her secret desire and give her something to work for. We had a lot of alone time so I told her that if she got good grades, the next semester, we'd do whatever she wanted to do. She looked at me for a minute and then said, "Anything??" With a look and smile that let her know what her anything could be, I answered, "Yes. ANYthing." . A while later, she came to me and quietly asked if I really meant ANYthing. I looked her straight in the eyes and repeated what I'd said, earlier, "Yes. ANYthing." and then gave her a long, close hug. (one that caused my cock to swell in anticipation) She hugged me so hard that I'm sure she was wishing that she'd already gotten the good grades and was going to get her daddy's 'anything'.
I never saw a kid work harder at doing their school work than she did.
When the semester was over, she showed me the three B pluses and two A's that she'd earned and then, nervously, looked at me and asked me again if I'd been serious about letting her do or have anything she wanted from me. I smiled and said, "Yes." .... She said, "Even if it's something really private and nasty?.... Something that Mom can never know about?" I said, "Yes, honey. Whatever it is will be just between you and me."
After a several second pause, she barely got the words out as she timidly asked, "Can we have sex with each other?" I asked, "Is that what you want?" She whispered, "Yes." .... and that was the first time for her and for us. (I'd had a vasectomy, which I explained to her, so she never got pregnant)
Good start, keep it cumming
Good set up of the story line and premise. Who cares about the smoking, other than it ads depth of character to the mom. Besides, the moms' smoking or not is not the main reason we're on this site for. Can't wait for the chapters for the B's and A's.
I have to agree...
...with 2ndchance, singaporechris and the rest of the commentators. It's a
GREAT BEGINNING with an ending that is screaming, "there's MORE to come!!"
I, personally, hope there's a lot more to come, at least through College. I think
the Mom is very cool, proactive and extremely HOT (sizzle!). She's willing to
'really' put it out there. End result, academically smart (er) kid w/ possibly a
College Scholarship and a serious plus of knowing what to do with a Woman.
For personal reasons, I could definitely do without the cigarettes, nuf said!
Anonamous "Grade A",
I'm not sure, but I believe, in your comment, you actually wrote, if I'm not
mistaken, a "FLASH." It's a real short story, if I understand that term.
To your credit, I thought it was hot, I gave it 5 stars and changed my shorts.
It had an ending that was screaming, "there's more to come!" ......wait,
did I already say that ? Anyway...
I'm just a recreational reader so I'm not distracted with grammar or punctuation.
If I can find the meat 'n tatters, I'm a happy camper! More Chapters Please.
WHEN DOES THE INCEST START !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TALKING ABOUT IT ARE JUST WORDS. I HOPE CH. 2 IS A LOT HOTTER. . LAROC OF AGES
"You're not the only only kid who ever came down with the hots for his mother. It happens."
Truer words were never spoken. This is a great story by a great writer. The writing is of a very high literary quality, I just wish we had more contributions from him. (Vitro is also a very generous author, check out his Favorites.) I can never understand why readers leave niggling negative comments; maybe that's why Mr. V stopped writing. Chris is a cheeky lad, he gets with the program right away, and even asks his mother if for every C she'll give him her cunt. He's been real interested for a long time in that wonderful hole between his mother's legs that he came out of. Smart and funny mom sets him straight on that. No, Chris gets his mother's mommy-hole only for an A. Oh, well, he's smart too, so there's plenty of hope. The boy'll be going around with a big hard on his pants until the glorious day comes. I enjoyed the comment by the father who wrote "grade A." This gentleman's own baby girl came on to him, letting him know that her adorable little coochie was open and ready for his fat veiny daddy-dick and for all the creamy semen in her father's big daddy-balls. He's been sticking his cock and unloading his semen in his girl's pretty little twat every since. Way to go, pal. That is true father-daughter bonding, a dad's big prick and his darling baby girl's sweet little slit.
longer
you go mom. more detail is needed.
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