First, your story has some odd pagination issues: the instructions from the submission page are present. Second, you've written it in the second person. This tense is rarely used, as it is clunky and odd.
by
Anonymous05/10/10
Subtelty is wasted on most people!
"First, your story has some odd pagination issues: the instructions from the submission page are present."
I had a pretty good idea most people wouldn't get it, AT, as the above comment proves. Good effort.
English
Editing Required!
First, your story has some odd pagination issues: the instructions from the submission page are present. Second, you've written it in the second person. This tense is rarely used, as it is clunky and odd.
Subtelty is wasted on most people!
"First, your story has some odd pagination issues: the instructions from the submission page are present."
I had a pretty good idea most people wouldn't get it, AT, as the above comment proves. Good effort.
I understand what you were trying to do...
...but found that it didn't quite work. The 'main menu' inserts really broke the flow of the story and just proved distracting. A great idea though!
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